batlantern rights!

Jon: Bruce let's Damian go on patrol with him all the time!

Lois: Well maybe if Bruce had an inkling of a regular childho-.

But it becomes increasingly funny to throw Hal in the mix;

Jon: It's not fair! I'm the Super and Damian spends more time in the air than me!

Lois: Maybe if Bruce watched his carbon foot print Damian wouldn't be taking fifteen minute private jet rides-.

Jon: Who said anything about Bruce? Hal let's Damian test planes with him every Friday!

~

Bruce: -of all the idiotic, dangerous stunts! Over forty injured, five in critical condition, and we almost lost two civilians in the field today! You are hereby banned from patrol for the foreseeable future! From now on it's the manor and school and that's it! I hope the free time will give you some space to reflect-.

Hal: *coughs*

Bruce:...no phone, no tablet, no laptop, no electronics outside of the family computer room-.

Hal:*coughs*

Bruce:-you'll also be helping Alfred around the manor since your nights will be free-.

Hal:*coughs*

Bruce:-you'll be front and center for the galas and fundraisers next month-.

Hal: *coughs*

Bruce:- for the next three months! And you can forget about joining Hal in space this summer!

Bruce: Maybe if you had a mature bone in your powerade fueled body- 

Hal: Well maybe if you weren't such a colossal dicknugget then-

Justice League :This is just so unhealthy, can you imagine what the fights are like in private? Those poor kids constantly being exposed to this.

Meanwhile, the batkids:

Jason: *gagging* We get it y'all love each other sheesh.

Duke: *covering Damian's eyes and ears* They’re kids here! Get a room and stop flirting in front of everyone! 

Dick: Your mating ritual is scaring the League. Keep the sexual tension down plz for the love of god.

Cass: *reading body language* Bonk, horny jail?

This side/spot designation carries over into almost every room in the Manor. There’s a Bruce side and a Hal side. Living room? Bruce’s spot is closest to the Batcave and Hal’s spot closet to the kitchen where he can sneak food and annoy Alfred and not necessarily in that order. 

When Hal is off-planet, Alfred, the batkids and Bruce all avoid the left side of the bed and all other Hal associated spots like the plague. If Hal’s side of the bed is unmade, it stays that way until he gets back, even if it’s months later. Hal left a cup on a table? It stays. ( This dedication gets to the point where other Leaguers start wondering if they missed a funeral. Damian once threw a turkey leg at Clark for sitting in Hal’s spot in the living room.)