space cadet

This is significantly more important than a change.org petition bc it HAS to be acknowledged if it gets enough signatures

Because of coronavirus, a lot of recent grads are moving back home. After four years (or more) of freedom, being back home is a big adjustment and it’s easy to revert back to our teenage behaviors. Here are some of the things I’m doing to feel a little more like a grown up while I’m living at home!

i. make your space your own

Just cleaning out your room can make a huge difference. Donate your old clothes and take your old posters from high school down. If you’ve got the time and resources, a fresh coat of paint or new bedding can also do a lot to make your old room feel more adult. You can also rearrange furniture to make a workspace if you’ll be working from home or applying to jobs.

ii. set boundaries

Lovingly set some ground rules about how you can best support each other. This is especially important if you’ll be working or taking classes from home – let them know you’ll be unavailable during certain hours so they don’t barge into a Zoom meeting. 

iii. build a routine

Even if you’re not working or in class at the moment, it’s important to be intentional about your time. The biggest thing that contributed to me feeling like a kid when I first moved back was spending my days watching Netflix and napping. Which are totally valid! But add in other daily activities, like taking your dog for a walk and making yourself a nice breakfast.

iv. make time for friends

I normally hate virtual hangouts, but they’ve been so important for my mental health during quarantine. Schedule a weekly Zoom coffee date with your group of friends. FaceTime your old roommates. Meet your high school bestie in the park and have a distanced picnic (don’t forget masks!). Having a support system is so important right now!

v. find new hobbies

This is the perfect time to try out new hobbies. Plus, craft stores have been having great sales since they know everyone is cooped up all summer. I found some really fun craft kits that I never would have tried normally, and now I’m the proud owner of a woven frog wall hanging. A few ideas: painting, tie dying, embroidery, yoga, running, learning a new language, reading, etc.

Having a long-term project to work towards – like a larger art project or trying to master a difficult yoga pose – helps to keep the days from running together.

vi. find ways to feel “normal”

4-year-old Daliyah Arana is the inspiration for this new gig at the Library of Congress.

I salute her parents

So I wasn’t really taught to brush my teeth every day as a kid. So I didn’t. I got to be an adult and realized “hmm teeth are expensive I need to start brushing them” and brushing my teeth twice a day has been on my actual to do list every single day of my college career. It’s a habit I needed to build.

Have I successfully done it? Absolutely not. I’m pretty good about doing it at least once a day, but some days it just doesn’t happen. It’s not that I forget usually, I just had some aversion I couldn’t figure out, until last week.

I’m at the grocery store, in the toothpaste aisle with my roommate, and I complain about how much I hate mint. I FUCKING HATE THE TASTE OF MINT. The taste and the smell, any kind of minty thing in any form, I HATE IT. But literally every “adult” toothpaste in the aisle was some type of minty disgusting nonsense. And my roommate was like “you know you could like get kids’ toothpaste? You like bubblegum right?”

And y’all, it was like the clouds parted. I got some strawberry bubblegum kids’ toothpaste. I brushed my teeth with it and it was a whole new experience. I have successfully brushed twice a day every day since, because the mental block I had towards it is gone! 

I thought my lack of brushing was just a moral failing on my part; I was too lazy, too undisciplined, to build a good habit. But really? I just hate the taste of mint so much I didn’t want to brush my teeth.

This made me realize that when presented with a change you want to make, a habit you want to build, if you’re encountering resistance in yourself, you should lean into that resistance and really investigate what’s causing it, then work on accommodating that. 

Say you hate washing dishes so they pile up and then you’re overwhelmed by how many you have to do. Why do you hate it? Deep down, what about it do you dislike? Is touching wet food super gross for you? Try thick rubber gloves while you’re washing. Does the sound of dishing clanking together grate your nerves? Do them with headphones in and turned up loud. Do you hate the smell? Light some candles, spray some air freshener. 

Do these things instead of gritting your teeth and forcing yourself, then ultimately failing and getting discouraged by your “lack of self-discipline”

In those ten years it has lasted through

- high school (I never used a locker. I had a backpack.)

- college (TEXTBOOKS ARE HEAVY MAN)

- Disney College Program (for when you need street clothes for playing in the parks, also sneaking 8 lbs of mashed potatoes into Magic Kingdom)

- elementary teaching (little buggers be needy, and by little buggers I also mean me needing snacks)

- summer camp (I am the mom counselor. I always have everything for anything)

- many many travels (If you fly Spirit, you can call it a personal item and fit clothes for a whole week in there with shoes, and also a book! Also it’s an easy train bag!)

a lot of you have been at music school for a month or two now and might be feeling inadequate and unmotivated so here’s a story my violin professor told me:

she had a student a few years ago who, when she did her audition for music school, couldn’t play a three octave scale and played a student concerto for her audition and was behind on all of her etudes and really didn’t meet most of the requirements for being accepted into the music program

at the end of this student’s time at the university, she was concertmaster of the orchestra and could play virtuoso works like zigeunerweisen like nobody’s business, and it seems like she’s made a nice career for herself now

people progress at different rates. if you’re last chair right now, you’re not destined to stay there forever. if the schools or groups you auditioned for didn’t accept you, it doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough

A simple but important reminder. You’re making progress, and you should be proud of it! 🐌💕