close your eyes, sammy

Oneshots and ficlets.

I stopped writing because I didn’t have the time, but here I am again- taking requests.

If you want to look at my old works to see my writing style (though I have evolved since then) then here are my oneshots and here are my ficlets.

4.14 - Sex and Violence

This looks fun I’m excited yay!

Most  all pickup lines sourced from reddit.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 918

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i literally can’t sleep alone anymore so i’ve shown up at your door in my pyjamas, can we have one more nap together, please? 

we promised to stay friends but we’re doing the same stuff we did when we were a couple and i don’t wanna point it out because i don’t want it to stop

listen i know i can’t just show up at your apartment at six in the morning but i need coffee and no one makes it like you do 

we broke up after i left and moved away and months later i find out you rushed to the airport to stop me but you were too late 

you keep calling me over to get rid of spiders from your apartment and i’m pretending i don’t know you’re not afraid of them at all because i miss you too

we keep showing up at all the same places separately because we’ve always had similar interests 

cop!au i’ve been undercover for months/years and i know i told you not to wait for me but i’m still in love with you and it’s killing me

or, i fell in love with you while i was undercover and i know you’re mad at me for lying but i have to go back to my old life (and i want you to be in it)

i know we’ve been broken up for a while but i still have those concert tickets and you’re the only person i want to share this with

i found the ring when i was moving my stuff out of your apartment and now everything makes sense

are you?? sabotaging?? my dates?!?!?

i’ve seen you hanging around my apartment and i thought it was because you missed me, turns out you’ve been using my wifi you asshole

i know you can’t cook for shit so i’ve been bringing you dinner every night, just, y’know, to keep you alive

i kissed you goodbye by accident - old habits die hard okay?!?!

roadtrip au where we need to save gas money so we take a long, awkward, tension-filled car ride 

instead of dividing up the CD’s, let’s play a drinking game to determine who gets what (it may or may not end in sex)

i was so sleep-deprived after the night shift that i climbed into bed with you (and you just rolled with it) 

you’re my emergency contact and i’ve been in an accident so you drop everything to come to the hospital 

soon to be divorced couple obnoxiously painting the walls wacky colours every time the other paints over it 

you’re pretending we’re still together because my relatives will disprove of the break up so you’re being all sweet it’s reminding me of why i fell in love with you in the first place

True rape accusations are a norm.

Female Awesome Meme - [5/10]  Female Characters Who Deserve Better: Charlie Bradbury