Enkephal Operating System

There's so much required of me in order to change that. Its unobtainable with the time and resources I'm granted. I think I'm better off wallowing in grief of what I could be than striving for something I'll never be.

I have introjects of religious figures, mainly Christian ones. And in my personal experience, religion in psychiatric settings is taboo, seen as hazardous to the psychotic and the recovering [ especially so in trauma recovery spaces ]. This caution isn't unwarranted but I believe it's overdone. Especially when religious guidance could benefit the person [ think community, structure, belief system, hope, and a safe space. Not just from Christianity, but from any religion. ] Although these introjects stemmed from a sense of comfort, I found a lot of my therapists [ and medical personnell in general ] trying to "warn me" of the dangers of being religion. They convinced me to shove down the religiously sourced alters as a way to treat nonexistent psychosis / delusion. They wanted me to stop attending church every Sunday in favor of attending therapy at a separate time. As in, my therapist kept pushing this idea on to me that a separate time would be better for them and their receptionist, and that church "wasn't that important." Mind you, I am autistic, one change to my schedule kills me. When I was admitted to a mental health facility, they didn't let me do anything religious for fear of worsening my condition, even though I wasn't admitted for anything that had to do with delusions, psychosis, or religion, and they did the same with a Muslim boy [ he was admitted for an eating disorder I believe, and they forced him to eat at daylight hours during Ramadan, when they could have just let him eat before and after the sun set. Thinking about it makes me want to cry ]. I am 80% sure that's illegal but that also happened when I was 13 years of age and when the boy was maybe 15, tough luck getting a judge to listen to that. And I faced harsher treatment in support groups where it was comprised mostly of atheists. They said the same things that the doctors were without wrapping it in false care. Half of the questions asked in my direction were asking if the church was the source of my trauma, the other half were questioning my faith. If I brought it up, it was a bad time to do so, if I didn't, people would start asking me if I lost my faith. And this wasn't just isolated to Christianity too, it was also directed towards Judaism, Islam, Pagan revivals, and on one instance Navayana. They all left when they realized it wasn't welcoming to them, I wish I left sooner too [ those groups did more harm than good, nothing to do with religion. ] The distaste towards all religions is of the reasons I quit treatment in general. There are a variety of alters of a variety of religions and neo religions and fictoreligions in my system. I myself am best described as pantheist and the alter that experienced most of this is still Christian. Moral of the story, be nice to religious people, learn the actual definition of religious psychosis before you use it as a synonym for "doing harmful things while religious", and most importantly hold the same attitude of separating source from introjects when said source is the Bible, or the Qu'ran, or any religious scripture.