ETERNAL.

Sy, the personification of music ❤ Funky little fella, very shaped, I had so much fun drawing him ^w^

starters  /  prompts taken from various characters starring in the game   fire emblem : three houses .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .

“  feel free to say hi whenever you like  ”

“  don’t hold back for my sake  ”

“  you think I’m so clumsy that I need someone to watch over me ?  ”

“  you act like you’re full of regret  ,  but I know you don’t really mean it  ”

“  you actually look more handsome to me with honesty on your face  ”

“  don’t be ashamed of crying  ”

“  could you keep quiet for a bit ?  ”

“  you’re actually kind of amazing  ”

“  do you mean to imply you have no intention of acting a bit more respectably ?  ”

“  stop acting so nonchalant about getting hurt or killed  ”

“  naive and uptight is no way to live your life  ”

“  you’d better watch that temper  ”

“  i am absolutely disinterested in spending any time with you  ”

“  your lack of self-awareness is deeply troubling  ”

“  I’ll just be straightforward about taking advantage of you  ”

“  when will you tire of challenging me in pointless competitions ?  ”

“  you expect me to believe that ?  ”

“  i’ve had enough of your foolish antics  ”

“  i wish you would not sneak up on me like that  ”

“  before you reprimand me  ,  take a moment to consider your own failings  ”

“  it is like hearing a snake sing an aria  ”

“  am I hearing a deathbed confession ?  ”

“  i never have any idea what you’re talking about  ”

“  don’t walk away when i’m talking to you  ”

“  you’ll be the death of me for sure  ”

“  i do not intend to die  ”

“  i can’t believe you put yourself at risk for my benefit  ”

“  i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile  ”

“  i do not desire your gratitude  ”

“  you’re surprisingly strong for how slender you appear  ”

“  perhaps i was flustered needlessly  ”

“  i had forgotten how charmingly ethereal you can be  ”

“  you’re going a little overboard  ”

“  you have shaken me to my very core  ”

“  so this is what death is like  ”

“  if you get sick of me  ,  i’m sorry ahead of time  ”

“  i’m embarrassed just thinking about it  ”

“  you’re like a little brother to me  ”

“  spending the rest of my life with you doesn’t sound so bad  ”

“  if our roles were reversed  ,  I don’t think I’d be able to forgive you  ”

“  you actually hate me  ,  right ?  ”

“  you haven’t stabbed me yet  ”

“  i want to be more like you  ”

“  i actually envy the size of your heart  ”

“  i don’t think you can solve all your problems by throwing a few punches  ”

“  there aren’t a lot of people like you in the world  ”

“  sorry I’ve been so oblivious to your needs  ”

“  sometimes you just can’t afford to wait around for someone else to notice ”

“  yesterday’s enemy is today’s ally  ”

“  you have to abandon old feuds  ”

“  learn to protect yourself before trying to protect me  ”

“  i always trust that you’ve got my back  ”

“  if only people could be more like flowers  ”

“  if you promise not to resort to violence  ,  I’ll do whatever you want  ”

“  i can’t stand the sight of me either  ”

“  i would be even more impressed if you hadn’t been screaming the whole time  ”

“  i did what was necessary to get you to comply  ”

“  you have so much power in you  ,  just waiting to be unleashed  ”

Still he finds unbelievably hard to keep a straight face after the following statement, what with the way it resonates within him, a bell striking his already malfunctioning heart and making it ache as if squeezed by icy dead fingers. He never minded loneliness, even if he has always been a creature of companionship first and foremost, but with all that happened that’s a feeling he now barely welcomes - one more reason why he has sought Nathaniel’s company more than he usually would with any other fling. It creeps up on him on midnight roads where it’s just him and the streetlights and in the middle of warm sweating crowds all the same, just in different flavors.

(Once he read how people who underwent an amputation will always feel their missing limb, present but constantly out of reach, close but not close enough to be real anymore. He gets the feeling now. His hand keeps trying to close around another’s that won’t squeeze his fingers back anymore.)

He supposes he’s to give sympathy, now. It’s hard to tell. He is good at playing human, but emotions of other people were never a thing he particularly cared for until he could use it.

(What bothers you, as if it was a thorny situation at work or a temporary financial issue. He finds himself holding back laughter, and he hasn't even said a word about it all yet. Really goes to show how he's holding on by a single, worn-out thread these days.)

"Tea's good. Thank you." He puts the cigarette out in his metal tin, watching smoke rise one last time before dying, dissolving into thin air but leaving a faint trace of its piercing smell behind. He suddenly feels like he hasn't slept in days, if not weeks - and isn't it funny, when he doesn't really need to sleep. He wonders if exhaustion runs so deep that it carved a path next to his veins.

    FOR ONCE, his laugh feels genuine - at least more than usual. “That all?” he teases, fully knowing it’s not. “Y’could have asked me. I got plenty a’ those.” He wouldn’t go and show the most suspicious photos to someone who is, in some regards, still a perfect stranger, but the others, he sure can. Who hasn’t gone to a party whose theme was one of the past decades anyway. Add some good costumes and makeup and photo editing and oop, a perfect fake photo. An act he’s used to, so no worries about that.

     He notices how the other stares at his cigarette, and he makes an offering motion in his general direction. “All alone in this big house?” The surprise is genuine. The only place he ever saw resembling this one is Etienne’s own house, and even then it feels more fitting for him rather than for a guy around his (apparent) age. Weird, but not suspicious. Family heirlooms can take all shapes and forms.

     His gaze lingers around on the furniture and the carpet and the curtains. A sun ray sneaks under his half-unbuttoned shirt and wraps around the grotesque outline of his heart. “Doesn’t it get… lonely after a while?”

     "Nᴏᴛ ᴏ̨ᴜɪᴛᴇ alone. The cat should be around here somewhere. She doesn’t typically show herself to strangers, though.“ Not as obvious as a mortal cat: her white fur only leaves the occasional hair, not shedding all over the furniture as one would expect. There are some toys shattered, but as with most pets, those have often made their way underneath something where neither cat nor owner could reach, and her beds and towers are mostly fit into the decor subtly enough to be mistaken for decorations at first glance. There’s just the one in the study that really speaks out: perhaps because that’s because they both spend most of their time in there. Of course he’s aware of how much like a cliché he sounds: I’m not lonely, I have my cat. But he can’t quite mention the husband far away at sea without spoiling the moment.

     He’s really just enjoying his little snack for now. Not much to ask for, is it?

     Finally, he does reach out for that cigarette: knowing full well it won’t quite scratch an itch. Modern ones are so soft. Still deadly, of course, but without most of the kick that makes it worse. Besides the fact that it was considered quite the opposite: and in fairness, given how London air had been during a good chunk of his younger years, a cigarette made no difference at all. It lights up easily enough, and as expected: it doesn’t do much good to take a drag. Not in comparison to things dearly missed. Could still get them, of course: but it wouldn’t be the same, and most of those things too have weakened over the years.

     Disappointing.

Still he finds unbelievably hard to keep a straight face after the following statement, what with the way it resonates within him, a bell striking his already malfunctioning heart and making it ache as if squeezed by icy dead fingers. He never minded loneliness, even if he has always been a creature of companionship first and foremost, but with all that happened that's a feeling he now barely welcomes - one more reason why he has sought Nathaniel's company more than he usually would with any other fling. It creeps up on him on midnight roads where it's just him and the streetlights and in the middle of warm sweating crowds all the same, just in different flavors.

(Once he read how people who underwent an amputation will always feel their missing limb, present but constantly out of reach, close but not close enough to be real anymore. He gets the feeling now. His hand keeps trying to close around another's that won't squeeze his fingers back anymore.)

I MISS A LOVE I NEVER HAD; ON LONGING