September is IIH awareness month. And while I will continue to fight the stigmas that surround this illness, and the doctors who donāt want to treat me...sometimes I really donāt fucking want to. Everyday I wake up feeling drugged or drunk, like someone slipped something in my drink and I woke up with another life, completely confused and scared and disoriented.
I take medication that strips me of my appetite but because of that medication if I donāt eat, I could pass out at a moments notice.
I could suddenly go blind...whenever.
Natural and unnatural light burns my skin and eyes, so half of the day is not accessible to me.
Some days I canāt even dress myself.
I wake up every morning hoping that I feel good enough to make some art or laugh a little or make my own tea.
Because even if you do everything ārightā with a chronic illness, you are still sick. All the time.
Itās not a steady incline, itās more like a rocky rollercoaster and everyone on the ride is getting motion sickness.
With IIH we get every symptom someone would have if they had a brain tumor (epilepsy, hallucinations, loss of motor functions, vomiting, seizures, etc.)except there is no tumor, so there is no cure, and the only treatment plan is some slight relief.
It feels like drowning. Everyday. Itās the hardest thing Iāve ever had to go through.
The suicide rate for people with IIH is incredibly high, relief being a goal for some, and a pipe dream for others.
Iām seven days late with this picture because, well, I couldnāt hold my arms up for too long last week.
I have an amazing partner in my husband who is willing to travel the country with me and go into deep debt to find the best doctors and specialists to see if any of it helps.
I donāt know how to finish this up, because I have been editing this picture for 12 hours straight. So goodnight!
Iām willing to answer any questions anyone has!
Pic is by me, editing is also by me āļø
The IIH ribbon colors are š¢šµ
areudirty
theartofmadeline
romaincrisis
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