whowuddathunk

"bro. bro don’t talk that way. bro you’re totally unique in the universe. there’s nobody else like you bro. bro seriously you mean so much to me bro. bro. you’re a special broflake"

Hi, I’m auditioning for Captain Hook and I’ll be singing Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok”

at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i signed it as donald duck i always sign as donald duck im sorry”

the other day my boyfriend wouldn’t cook me breakfast so i went to the lounge, changed our wifi password and refused to give it to him until he had made me something to eat

But if guy did that…

sorry to break it to you but i am a guy

WHAT?!

I need this on my blog.

On my blog? I need this IN MY LIFE.

Nom nom.

First I was like “holy fuck that’s a shitload of bread though”. BUT WHEN IT’S SLICED IT IS JUST PERFECT 

Why can’t my girlfriend do this

Because you’re a grown ass motherfucker capable of doing this and it’s not your girlfriends job.