EMILY

(Facebook: It’s Okay To Be Childfree)

“Congratulations - you just made a conversation about salad and hamburgers about the struggle of childbirth.”

TBH Parentfriends, I’m probably tired of looking at pictures of your kid every other day, so I just hid you from my Newsfeed, because what’s important to you isn’t all that important to me. Sorry, not sorry, no one’s feelings got hurt.

“Sign of the Times.” Yeah. I heard that and thought, “Bit fuckin’ dramatic for a young man.” I know he’s been in this big band and all that but that’s still a fuckin’ bubble you’re in. He’s not had much of a fuckin’ life, has he? I thought, “Chill out, you cunt.” But then I heard it a few more times and there’s a couple of interesting bits. And I’ve seen him sing the songs live on TV and he’s got a good voice. If he wants to go down that route then who am I to fuckin’ stop him? It’s a good thing.

You were similarly catapulted into fame as a young guy. What advice d'you have for Harry? Just do what you wanna do, man. And whether it’s wrong or right, do it. Please yourself. God bless you for doing that [One Direction] stuff for ten years. I’d rather him do the fuckin’ rock'n'roll thing now than him fuckin’ being a rap star, you know what I mean? Fuckin’ sticking a big gold chain around his neck, speaking like some fuckin’ gangster like the other one, Liam. Harry Styles? He’s alright, man. I’ve seen him on that Carpool [Karaoke] and the guy can fuckin’ sing.

Ribeyron SS17 on @dazeddigital by Etienne Saint-Denis styled by me