If you are unlovable, then why is she taking it upon herself to reassure you?
Bitterly, cracked optics disparaged his internal monologue. “A-As I said… it could have been anyone.” Nothing Jae brought up seemed to dig its heels in as he shuddered, “And how can we be certain this isn’t permanent?” Such a magnanimous transformation being reversible must be impossible.
If you are wretched, then why are they so insistent on countering your doubts?
Suppressing a growl, Chimizo stammered, “B-But it was my idea to…” He trailed, his retort drowned under what was undeniably true. How could he be at fault, if the villain was to blame for Max’s ails? “I still could have—”
And if you are worthless, then why are they singing your praises at every turn?
His irregular breaths quieted. “Di… Did I. Honestly make that much of a…” The specter clammed up as his feverish self-belittlements crumbled, granting him the clarity to absorb the facts. Very slightly, his invisible neck craned to regard the colossal Max.
While his appearance may have changed, he was acting very much like himself. Seated behind his husband, docile to those he treasured most. He was not rampaging, nor was he targeting them in any manner. Combatting the odds by his exemplary will, he was still with them, part of the team.
That is because you are none of those things.
As Jae embraced him fully, Chimizo choked a gasp. Even if he could not appreciate her warmth in its entirety, it was vaguely there. He slanted towards her, ignorant of the dazzling red sphere shining in his chest.
Thus, they are willing to make sacrifices to hold you close.
Her vow jolted him slightly. Wincing, the very notion of her evoked a gruesome image of steely claws stained with blood, with a body once full of life pallid and withered beneath him.
History could not repeat itself. He would not be able to forgive himself if it did. Digits twitching, he lethargically lugged his wilted arm and raised it to clasp a hand over Jae’s shoulder. Airily, he rasped a laugh, glancing over to her.
“Ha… since you’re too stubborn to heed this geezer’s warning… then you truly must be my granddaughter.” The phantom mustered a proud grin, patting her affectionately. His attention was then drawn to the couple, cartoonish antics and all.
Even those two, who have only known the real you for less than a day, do not detest you. They likely wish for you to keep going alongside them, as well.
Emitting a second, albeit wheezier chuckle, he bowed to them. “I… I see.” On every count of what was explained. “Th-Then I suppose… I shouldn’t let myself… fall apart at the seams.” He dryly coughed. “I-If it means I… can continue to fight by your sides, and… take part in… a more peaceful future.”
So, I have to try. Try and free myself of these shackles once more.
His heavy hand lifted, taking solace in Jae’s support as it ascended to reach above them. Spreading his talons wide, he focused on prodding their tips at the tainted atmosphere. Even if it was less dense, thanks to the mechanic’s efforts, it should suffice just as well.
I won’t ask nicely. You will leave me alone, and let me have this!
The sharp points connected with their target. As it had every other time, the foreign substance swam across the length of the metal and streamed down into the cuff of his sleeve.
He watched in anxious anticipation, features wavering.
It slipped through. Streaks upon streaks of the smog coursed into his arm, travelling towards the glowing centerpiece which had yet to fade into obscurity once more. Like a vacuum, it swept the foggy veins in, gravitating them to its white middle.
As relief washed over him, a telepathic voice chimed in his mental space.
\ You have humbled yourself to a satisfactory result. I shall relinquish my influence… until an exceptionally stimulating trial manifests. /
‘And I will be ready for you. No matter what this trial will entail.’
Chimizo eased, settling in Jae’s hold. He was not as limp, though his strength had yet to restore in full.
“…finally.” He sighed. “It’s working. I’ll need a fair amount of this in order to function, but my personal crisis has been averted.”
Scanning the faces of everyone, he seemed to frown for a moment. “I apologize if I frightened any of you. This isn’t… typical of me. It may have been a combination of the smoke’s intensity and my hunger causing the issue.” The third piece of the puzzle was not worth acknowledging.
“And, of course, I.” Sitting upright, he exhaustedly smiled. “I appreciate your kindness. Each and every one of you.” He tipped his cap with his other hand, no longer requiring it to suspend himself. “Thank you for giving me the encouragement I needed to snap out of it. I know it… might have been difficult to witness, but I’m grateful you didn’t… you know.”
Leave me, as I had foolishly implored of you.