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WELCOME TO THE TESTING REALM!
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entire post about snail babies. snabies. snildren,
snail babies are created when each member of a romantic relationship contributes slime into one being. the last snail who adds slime to the baby is considered the “main parent” who affects the child’s appearance the most and bears the most responsibility for the child, but the other parents also usually contribute and help take care of it
a snail’s name also starts out very short. usually, they are initially named using a two-syllable word (kipo’s name is the word for “happy”), and it gets added onto over the course of their life with a new syllable being added every few years or so. old snails have VERY long names, and snails in general can live to be 200 years old
baby snails are INCREDIBLY resilient. like a human could step on them and they’d be fine. since they’re completely made out of slime they don’t really have anything that could be injured or broken by something like that
they start to grow a shell when they’re about 3 years old. the base of it will grow in just a few months once it starts to develop, and it will form a sort of hood (or a cap, if the baby has a snalter-style shell) on the snail’s head that grows bigger / outwards over time
they tend to become independent surprisingly fast and learn pretty quickly. if there's food in the home they'll just get it and feed themselves, as long as they're shown where it is. it's pretty normal for babies to be allowed to wander around their homes without a lot of supervision
truly i think this au is just me seeing how hard i can make myself cry from how cute something is
The uh. Look that Walter and Guga gave to each other for a solid second when Snuga parroted that name. Of course. You know what, Gameshow Host universe (name pending)? No Pivolo in your universe? You all clearly have it easy. Hopefully. Please have it easy or something I donno - Guga 2k26. What would a snail Pivolo look like..? Would he even be a snail? Y...
You know what, the less time dwelling on that creature that they both want to equally thrash, the better.
Walter gently took the polaroid photo as it printed out in full and watched as it developed. Ah, a decent shot of two creatures on Guga's bed. He holds the photo out for the two visitors to see for a moment. Guga scratched the side of his head,
"I mean, do we get Pierre and Rene in here, or..." Guga pauses. "Do you think Pierre Jr. is unique to our universe... Or... Ugh, this is making my head spin."
"I donno. We're like. Well over ten times their size, don't wanna overwhelm them. Uh. Moreso than they already are." Walter's gaze follows Snuga as he approaches the sock with that odd... Film, over it? "...How did Snuga get here, agai--..."
Once again, Walter trails off, and both artists go wide-eyed at Snierre's appearance. Y. You know what. Both of them silently agreed that yes, you know what, this in fact is exactly how Pierre would look like if he were a snail. A thought that never passed their minds before. It's taking a lot of self restraint not for Guga just to point and yell 'I KNEW IT', but he somehow manages not to.
"...Okay, it's less of a hairdot and more of a slimedot," Guga thoughtfully began, "Huh. I guess Snuga must've... Gotten in here with that slime magic? Or something?"
"I imagine it has to be some form of magic... That's fascinating, actually." Walter gave Snierre another good look over, "The resemblances are... Uncanny. Coincidences don't exactly pan out like this. I don't know what language they're speaking, though... It's not Italian, right? It certainly isn't French..."
"I would've been yapping in Italian if that were the case, duh." Another gentle huff from the dancer, "Oh well. Do you think he paints, too? Little snail paintings?"
Snalter can't help but be utterly amazed by that photo. Little eyes go wide. The picture wasn't monochrome— it had colors. Besides green. Seeing the two of them, reflected back at him in a flawless image... needless to say, he's flabbergasted.
He turns towards Snierre, almost expectantly. Ask him how it works. But... he can almost immediately sense that anxiety, even when he wasn't looking at that little bubble of slime above his head. Snalter's expression softens, becoming gentle and kind. He's not going to push his own desires onto him when he was clearly a bit overwhelmed by all of this.
Immediately, Snierre is recognizing words. His studies had paid off. He doesn't understand them completely, but he generally understood what they were saying... it almost felt surreal. He was excited at the prospect of finally having an opportunity to communicate with humans, but... there's a lot to process, here. How bizarre it was that they looked exactly how his friends would look if they were human. How his friends were looking at him, wordlessly waiting for him to begin translating. How the two humans towered over the three of them...
He takes out the papers held beneath his arm. Notes. A written example of a simple conversation. Scraps of human text that he had found and glued to the pages with his slime. Where does he begin? He... doesn't know. He doesn't...
Snierre doesn't realize that his arms are trembling until Snalter places a hand on one of them.
"Roro prino nai. Lolo fritigabo." (Here for you. Don't worry.)
The larger snail gets close. A brush of antennae, and he steps away. Snuga, close behind, brushes a hand against his back before retreating as well.
...Snierre takes a deep breath.
"My... n-name... is Snierre. What is... yours...?"
snails bringing out the "writing 50 paragraphs without breaking a sweat" in me i see, /lh

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Walter can't help but just stare a bit at the display-- He knows it's rude to stare but. Oh. Okay. He guessed he sort of underreacted to the concept of the multiverse, come to think of it. Sure, okay, he expected that... Absolutely chaotic chat that Guga certainly frequented more consistently than any of the other three would have some surprises. Sure. Okay. He's a magician in another universe, go figure.
The snail Guga clinging onto the snail Walter... Yeah. No, it's undoubtably them, even ignoring the blatant physical similarities. It honestly didn't even process that the other had taken a photo of the two until they both leaned in sightly, in unison, before Walter perked up when it clicked.
"Aw--... Hey, looks like the little guy is a photographer, as well. Huh." Walter can't help but smile, "Interesting method..." A glance towards Guga, "...And you're saying the one that looks like you just showed up and started messing with you?"
"Well, I mean. I managed to mess with him back, so uh... I wouldn't say he uh. One-upped me." Guga let out the tiniest of huffs, using every fiber of his being NOT to pout over the idea that he's going to continuously get targeted by dubious little creatures at this point.
"I mean," Walter all-too-casually pulls out a smaller polaroid camera from his inventory that always at bare minimum has two cameras within it, "What do you think their Pivolo is like?"
"UGHHH, I don't even want to THINK about him right now, actually. Or ever." Guga groaned, "How much do you want to bet Snierre has the hair dot thing."
"I'm not making any bets with you about any of this, actually," The larger man all-too-casually replied as he triple checked to make sure the flash wasn't on (one of these days he's going to accidentally potentially flashbang a little guy and he's going to feel so bad about it, he just knows) as he took a quick photo of their snail counterparts, himself. "There we go," He muttered as it printed out.
Snalter wasn't nearly as wary of humans as someone else, but he still understood there were obvious dangers that came with creatures like them. Being much, much larger, potentially unpredictable... he couldn't fault Snene at all for believing it was best to just stay away from them.
But... seeing a human that looked just like you, clearly sending the message that they had no intentions of harming you despite the language barrier... Snalter can't help but smile back at him. He can tell that the human Snalter liked his photo, too. He wishes that he could ask him if he took pictures, too...
...It gets an answer quite swiftly. An extremely strange-looking object. Likely some kind of human device. Neither of them understand exactly what they're looking at, but... Snalter has to assume that it was related to taking photos if he was its human counterpart. He guessed that humans couldn't exactly blow slime bubbles from their mouths, so maybe it was some kind of substitute...?
Both of them noticeably perk at the mention of that name, though.
"Poinotai lagono Pivolo, noni?" (Humans know Pivolo, too?) Snalter begins, putting his photo inside of his shell. "Loga migo." (Not good.)
"...Poinota Pivolo??? Mai kifoi labrilana..." (Human Pivolo??? I can't imagine...) It might as well have been over for Snupestrine if Pivolo had been a human instead of a bird. He would have smashed their village to bits, easily...
The other name brings an idea to mind. It was quite difficult for the two of them to understand their human counterparts... they could hardly understand them at all, actually, besides being able to recognize names. Snalter knew that Snierre had put a lot of time into studying humans and their language. Many times, he had heard him reciting words late into the hours of the night. Practicing. This... might be the perfect opportunity for him, if these humans were friendly.
And... seeing that device somehow create a picture? He needs to be able to ask how it worked. He couldn't stand not knowing.
"Snuga, nai frolana Snierre. Norami ri gampopoi poinotai." (Snuga, you bring Snierre. Need to understand humans.)
Snuga nods. He probably should have thought to bring Snierre first, honestly. He trots back over to the sock, portal still intact... but someone comes out before he can enter it.
"..."
He stares up at the two humans. Sure enough, he has a slimy dot floating above his head— but it's dripping a bit, showing anxiety that should have otherwise been hidden behind a stoic expression. It was a lot different when you were right in front of creatures that were so large...
whole ass post about the antenna thing + how snails show affection because uhhhhhhh. ouuuuuuuuuu
i think touching antennae can mean a lot of things but it's generally an affectionate/friendly gesture in a very similar way to how kisses are for humans. it can be used as a greeting/to say goodbye, it can be used to show affection between family members, and it can be used to show affection between snails that are a romantic relationship. it's also usually a pretty quick action in the same way. prolonged antennae touching is exclusive to romantic relationships
physical contact is Big for them. if snails are close they will usually spend a lot of time being physically close together. it's also pretty common for multiple snails who are close to sleep together in a pile
actual kissing is a thing, but i think it's something that is significantly more meaningful than it is for humans and not as casual, considering a snail's magic is centered in their slime (saliva), and putting that On another snail (or. yknow. mixing it together) is kind of a Big Deal. it's not something that happens very often and snails usually only do it in very meaningful moments, such as when a romantic relationship is initiated
polycules are really common. there isn't really a "standard" for the number of snails that are usually in a relationship, but it's generally around 2-5. it can be more than that though
Guga was now quietly trying to predict what other worlds could be out there... Okay, so. One where he's a Gameshow Host, and another where he's a snail. That's a pretty big range, right? Who knew when another Guga would just. Pop in. In real life or in that doofy chat, for that matter. I. Is there an evil Guga out there? What would that even look like..? Is there an 'evil' version of all four of them..? H. He can't picture that, either. Evil Pierre... Huh.
The man watches as the other pops out of his shell, looking around. Before he could even awkwardly try to uh. Pictionary another question, he blinks rapidly when the other blows a bubble and. Disappears completely. Via uh... Slime? Magic? M. Maybe he really SHOULD clean his room, again. Guga gradually gets up, hopping off of his bed as he merely. Stares at where the other left from for a bit.
...Should he ask all of his friends 'would you still like me if I were a snail' and not elaborate. Maybe. He honestly wasn't expecting the other to come back. Another fleeting interaction with a little guy, only this time much more baffling because...
... O-Oh. Th. That sure as hell is a Snalter if he's ever seen one. Wh. What a statement. Guga stands there, on the edge of the bed, just staring for a bit, before all-too-casually making a 'one moment' motion as he exits the room. There's probably some off-screen conversation about 'creatures', but uh. Seems like Snuga's plan worked, because a clearly confused Walter follows behind Guga coming back in.
"You know, you could be a bit more specific, G--..." The photographer trailed off when he saw yellow and green figures on the bed.
"--Oh." Walter's attention is wholly taken by the two snails that were mirroring them right now. "...D. Did you find them and bring them here, or--"
"Who do I look like, Pierre? No, the snail me just showed up!" Guga insisted.
Snalter just kind of… stares, at Guga for a bit. It’s a little baffled by the similarities. But… its antennae twitch in thought. It didn’t usually take pictures of humans, since it was usually a tad dangerous to do so, but… this was a pretty unique opportunity, wasn’t it?
He reaches up, a little hand (somehow) digging inside of his shell and pulling out a piece of paper. Snalter opens his mouth, taking a good look at Guga as he holds the paper up to prepare to "take" a picture, but... oh. He's leaving.
Snuga taps his arm. "Guga frolana poinota nai. ...Mai labri. Pikalo prino tomi." (Guga bring human you. ...I think. Wait for both.)
"Migo labritaimo." (Good idea.)
They wait, with bated breath. But eventually, the two of them see him, and... both of their mouths fall open.
After a bit, Snalter slowly raises the piece of paper again. Before he can, Snuga latches onto his front and rapidly begins to shake him.
"Kama! Kama! Loko kama! Kopi??? Ko???" (Same! Same! Look same! What??? Why???)
Snalter, after recovering from the suddenness of the motion, pries Snuga off of himself like he'd been coated in slime. Then, he gently sets him down.
"Mai norami pinotaimako." (I need picture.)
And a picture is taken. A small bubble is blown, popping on the piece of paper and leaving a very precise picture behind. It's monochrome, composed only of various greens, but the image is shockingly clear.
Something compels Snalter to show the two humans the photo of themselves... so he does. They might have to squint to see it, though.
once again i am falling for the classic trap of "becoming invested in a concept that was created as a joke"
Muffled rain patters outside of a home made of sticks, bark, and moss. Two tiny fingers quietly pluck the strings of a very slimy guitar, the instrument absentmindedly played. A gaze peers out of a window. Handcrafted with a large shard of glass.
Snene sits on the edge of his bed. It’s mostly pieced together with bark, almost shaped like a bowl. The inside is lined with a thick layer of moss and covered by a piece of cloth. He’d been planning to go outside and sit in a secluded spot on the outskirts of the village to play his guitar, but… it was raining a bit too heavily for that.
He’d heard Snuga come home. His conversation with Snalter. He didn’t… quite understand the way that snail’s mind worked, sometimes. He was talking with a human…? What a frightening concept. He’d almost wanted to step out of his room and stop him from dragging Snalter into the situation, too, but…
A sigh, as he drags himself out of his thoughts. He was worried, but Snuga always made it home safely, no matter what crazy things he tried to attempt. Everyone… always made it home safely. He just has to keep that in mind.
There’s a knock on his door. A bent antenna nearly straightens out as he startles.
“Snene?”
Another quiet sigh. It’s Snierre’s voice. He brushes lightly at his hair.
“Toitori po.” (Come in.)
He enters. The snail is holding several pieces of paper under its arm. A strange emotion fills Snene as soon as he sees them— not exactly disappointment, but… he understands what they mean.
“...Nai lanto ri poinota.” (...You go to human.)
The other snail stops in its tracks, brow furrowing, then relaxing again.
“...Li. Mai girami ri. Roro ri totano nai.” (...Yes. I want to. Here to tell you.)
“Mai koina fraforima.” (I feel afraid.)
No more is spoken for a long moment. The sounds of rain from outside fill the silence, but it doesn’t feel any more comfortable. Then… Snierre steps forward, placing a gentle hand on the other snail’s shoulder.
“Mai toitori banakito.” (I come back.)
Carefully, he steps closer still. Eyes close. Faces nearly touch. Antennae dip downwards, then graze each other, snapping back once they do. Gazes are met, for a moment.
Then, Snierre leaves the room, a stoic determination in every tiny footfall.

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Okay. Bixby doesn't want to admit it. He really, really doesn't want to admit it. But...
...he might have gotten in way over his head, here.
The three of them, after barely managing to evade being skewered by giant barbs (Bixby screaming in a very dignified way all the while), had decided to observe from the edge of the battlefield. Well... less decided, and more... silently agreed to, as Bixby stared at the ongoing battle in horror, unresponsive.
It's painfully obvious that he's never experienced anything like this. He's had a very privileged life, all things considered. He's never been exposed to something as terrifying as this. Seeing someone fall out of the sky after being hit, leaving a pool of...
He glances over, past Simon, who was quietly seated next to him. That girl that had just protected them, who he recognized from quite some time ago... she seemed to be in a bit of a state. Of course she would be, after nearly being shot point-blank.
But the sight of her, so panicked like that... it shakes him to his core in a way he was deeply unfamiliar with.
Simon didn't have any experience with this sort of thing, either. He was still, in a manner of speaking, quite young. Inexperienced. He didn't know exactly what to feel about what he was witnessing.
But what he did know... was that he wanted to help. And not just for Rochester's sake.
"Hey." Simon starts quietly. "I think we should join in again when there's another opportunity. If you want, I can be in front! I'll protect all of us!"
"...You can. I'm... staying here." Bixby brings his knees up to his chest, looking away.
Simon can't hide the concern in his expression.
"I don't think... that's a good idea. If you stayed on your own like this... you'd be in danger. And I want to protect you. You don't have to do anything, if you don't want to! But I think it's best for us to stick together." Bixbee 27, hovering beside him, rapidly "nods" by moving its face up and down.
[I Will Protect You Because I Love You So Much. Please Come With]
"..." A quiet sigh. "...Alright. I suppose... it's best that I make myself useful."
if you ever decide to come up with a fictional language. you'd best understand what you're getting yourself into /lh
the camera temptation is strong.......
yes there's a snail timeline now. why not. here's 50 paragraphs
it IS. in fact. called snupestrine. it is a very tiny village instead of a city. it's pretty secluded and out in the middle of nature and very bug fables-esque
pivolo does exist in this universe but he's just a regular ass bird. i think he tried to take over snupestrine for a while and threatened to do bad stuff if they didn't get food for him but they eventually chased him off. EXTREMELY low stakes universe because i need one with how horrid my other ones are LMFAO
this is building on worldbuilding i already had set up for this snail character but in this world snails are magical creatures and their magic is centered in their slime. they don't really secrete it from their skin though, it's basically a saliva equivalent instead. all snails can blow slime bubbles and make portals with them but some of them also have specialized abilities that are unique to the individual
snierre is pretty similar to his human counterpart. he paints and knows how to make paint by mixing his own slime and natural dyes. he's Particularly in-tune with slime stuff and has a bubble above his head for this reason. he can shoot globs of slime from his mouth and he does have a slime form! he is also pretty intrigued by human stuff and has a basic idea of how to speak and understand english after doing some study
snene is also pretty similar! his abilities revolve around being able to summon instruments made of slime. he is Particularly afraid of humans and larger creatures and kind of just wants to stay far away from them
we know snuga but i'll elaborate on his abilities a bit. he can make slime vault poles and he can also use a slime ribbon to do a bunch of different stuff. he most often uses the ribbon like a rope so he can climb up stuff. he is the least afraid of humans and larger creatures
snalter!!!!!!!!!! his abilities mainly involve being able to ""take"" photos. basically, he can blow a slime bubble, and when it pops on a surface the slime will take the shape of whatever he was just looking at, in varying shades of green. he usually carries around little pieces of paper for this purpose. he can also blow bubbles that will make a bright flash when they pop in order to stun other creatures
i think snierre is around 1.5 inches tall, snene is around two, snuga is around one, and snalter is somewhere between snierre and snene
their voices sound slightly splatoony. i don't know how else to describe it LMFAO. sort of like how junior's voice sounds except it isn't higher-pitched
also YES of COURSE they are a polycule. the snails are in love and is the most heart-meltingly adorable thing you've ever seen
Ce n’est pas une mauvaise chose, loin de là ! Pierre est un homme bien. Un bel exemple de ce à quoi chacun devrait aspirer… Enfin, ce n’est que mon humble avis… Je ne peux pas parler en son nom, mais peut-être voudrait-il que tu sois qui tu souhaites être, sans… la pression de devoir lui ressembler trait pour trait.
…Les humains sont vraiment déroutants, Pierre Jr. Je suis sûr que tu finiras par le comprendre.
Silently, the artling listens— though it still doesn't understand very much. It takes it a good while to speak again.
"Si je ne suis pas lui, alors qui suis-je…?"
It's asked genuinely. Honestly curious. Filled with the sort of blissfully unaware innocence that only a child like it could have, contrasting the typical darkness that would be associated with such a question.
"Je veux l'entendre le dire." A tiny huff. "Mon nom ressemble au sien. Je lui ressemble. J'ai une voix semblable à la sienne. Ne devrais-je pas agir comme lui, moi aussi? Et faire tout ce qu'il fait? Et aimer tout ce qu'il aime?"
"Cela me semble logique…"

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…Hum. Pierre Jr, tu te rends bien compte que tu n'es pas obligé d'être exactement comme Pierre, n'est-ce pas ? Tu es une personne à part entière.
"Quoi? Qu'est-ce que tu veux dire?"
"…Je veux être exactement comme lui. Il me rend heureux. Si j'étais comme lui, je pense que cela me rendrait heureux, moi aussi."
It's perfectly logical in Junior's mind. It remembers feeling happy when it chose to have a name so similar to his... and when it mimicked even his tiniest mannerisms, it made it feel happy, too. But, for some reason... it's continued to struggle with consistently matching his expression.
"Est-ce une mauvaise chose…?"
Eh bien, nous étudions l'art en nous penchant sur des aspects tels que la technique… l'histoire de l'art… ce genre de choses. C'est en fait assez difficile à expliquer, Pierre Jr.
"…Oh. Je ne comprends pas vraiment. Mais si papa le fait, je devrais le faire aussi, non?"
A pause. The artling puts a finger up to its chin, seemingly in thought. Its expression becomes a bit gloomy for a moment.
"J'ai fait un rêve. Je veux encore lui en parler. Quelqu'un m'a montré comment peindre d'une nouvelle façon. Une nouvelle… technique. Je veux voir si je peux le faire dans la réalité."
"Je pourrais essayer de le faire maintenant. Mais je veux qu'il voie d'abord. …J'espère que ça marchera."