cats are the priority

writing a tumblr post these days makes me feel like im alone on an apocalyptic planet and i speak into a wallkie talkie every now and again to look for other survivors

i should have acted out in school more none of the consequences mattered actually 

*goes to hot topic and walks out with arms full of regular groceries*

I…you…is that even remotely possible?

no, thats why its a joke. thanks

i know we act like it’s a light joke but when a man says hi to you it really do be a lie right there from the jump 

can netflix make an interactive episode of friends where i have to option to kill ross geller

it’s only an unpaid internship if you don’t steal enough office supplies

Stealing is wrong

You mean unpaid internships? I agree

the smarter u are the more men arent funny 

I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver

when it hits the exact corner i can produce 1 (one) coherent thought

the saddest death in harry potter is my respect for jk rowling

Walmart employees at midnight

any retail job, period.

fucking incredible

I like to rœck oöt

me on a first date