Mostly Void, Partially Phantasmagoria

and then on the day of the show, my friend asks, "where is the camera I requested?"

gallerist: "you didn't request a camera"

my friend: "I did, and you confirmed that you would have one here."

gallerist: "that isn't true."

and then she proceeded to pull up the email thread, and my friend could see that every single email they had sent had been summarized by AI, and that the gallerist had then had AI write a response to them based on the AI summary, and that the AI had detected that they needed a camera, and confirmed on behalf of the gallerist that they would bring a camera, but because the gallerist had offloaded the work of actually reading and responding, she simply hadn't actually made any note of it herself, therefore didn't bring it, nor did she even know one was needed.

after who knows how many months of puzzling out the geometry, running out of the right colors, & feeling like i'd NEVER be done making flower motifs, HERE HE IS!! in all his orange glory!!

the cutest, sweetest, most huggable spider in the WORLD!!! ✨️💖🕷💖✨️

Suddenly I saw in front of me the Statue of the Faun, the Statue that I love above all others. There was his calm, faintly smiling face; there was his forefinger gently pressed to his lips. In the past I have always thought he meant to warn me of something with that gesture: Be careful! But today it seemed to mean something quite different: Hush! Be comforted! I climbed up on to his Plinth and flung Myself into his Arms, wrapping my arm around his Neck, intertwining my fingers with his Fingers. Safe in his embrace, I wept for my lost Sanity. Great, heaving sobs rose up, almost painfully, from my chest.

Hush! he told me. Be comforted!

bringing yet another culinary horror from the russian internet here

3_rublya, well, i wanted to bake a duck for New Year. Just before the New Year’s Eve it suddenly turned out that there are no whole ducks in the store, just the parts. I made the strategic decision to buy a bunch of duck parts and cook them. At home, I got upset that I won’t have a whole duck, and I tried to restore the duck from breasts and legs by sewing them together. At this point it turned out that each tray I bought had not two but three legs, so overall there were six, five of which were left ones. While I was sewing the duck together, I stained it with the food dye my sister spilled while making pryaniks (the pryaniks were good, by the way), and the duck started looking like it has gone moldy or expired. I couldn’t stand for this injustice and entirely covered it with dye to hide the stains. And then I also shoved some celery and oranges up its ass, just because I could.

1. Yes

2. Only socks

3. Only underwear

4. No

- it's dirty laundry

- washing machines exist to wash dirty laundry

Source

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

“Nobody:

Girls that bullied goth kids in high school:”