The Devil's Onesie

ARE YOU KIDDING ME THIS RULES

why do ppl treat random folks on tumblr like they’re street performers working for tips?? y’all be up in ppl’s inboxes like “hi do u think u can stop posting about xyz?? it’s getting really annoying :(“ ummm u do realize that i am just some stranger on the internet posting random shit im thinking about n not some kind of entertainer right…?

Tbh im kinda pissed im not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden

I hate that the Dairy Queen cashiers have to flip your blizzard upside down before giving it to you. I hate it. I know it’s most likely going to stay in it’s cup and I know I get a free one if it doesn’t, but the cocktail of a potential disaster and the cashier apologizing to what is most definitely a horrified me, having to sit in a drive-thru while someone behind me just bore witness to my fucking salted caramel blondie blizzard splattering on the asphalt, melting away while they mix me another one and i pray to god that they don’t flip it upside down again, is just a stress that I find entirely unnecessary. I trust it’s thick, just give me your word and i’ll be on my merry way.

I just imagined how it would feel to have them flip your second blizzard and have it spill too and I felt my shoulders physically tense

I’ve only been to DQ like 3 times in my life but the 2nd time I ordered a milkshake or something and I heard about DQ drinks not spilling when you flip them. I was not aware that this ability was only relegated to their blizzards. So long story short I said “hey, look at this” to my family and they watched me pour my milkshake on the ground.

Constantly torn between “I can’t ask for help bc then I’m annoying and everyone will be mad” and “I must ask for help at every possible stage because I might do it wrong and then everyone will be mad” ya feel

Today a little girl looked up at me and asked, “Ain’t you a science boy?”