FROZEN CROWN

She was still at least two shades paler than she had been, before. She did not like that, each time she looked into the mirror, she was reminded. Reminded of how fragile she had become. That her left hand had developed a bit of a trembling issue did not help either---it seemed there was no escape. No way to reassert control over her own life without drastic measures.

Maybe, she thought, maybe if things had been smoother, maybe if her hospital stay had not been as much of a disaster, she would not be entertaining this thought. But things had been a disaster on so many levels that she did not even know where to begin. Her life was a mess and she desperately needed to find a way to stablise it.

The current situation was not sustainable.

sherry was still that sickly pale and lyon had already gained back his vigor. in fact, he bounced back from imminent death quite well and he cursed the fact he could not transfer his vitality towards sherry.then, she would be fine and wouldn't need to worry at all. she would be healed more. alas. he cannot. and so, the only thing he could do from this point was help. and why? well, the distrustful part of lyon reared its ugly head the moment the council got too close to this.

there would always be a part of lyon vastia that resented them. he knew this. lyon reserved a lot of his anger at the structures rather than the branches nowadays. he felt it was a more efficient use of his energy, not a waste. those that labeled his teacher as a saint would always earn his effort. she was not a mythical creature. she was real. she was human and she's gone. that old resentment was the hand that held the dagger he always pointed to the council. he didn't trust the council around sherry at all. he felt justified for that, considering the stakes of the nirvana mission in the first place.

"a peace of mind for one thing," lyon answered. quietly, just above a whisper. these days, secrecy was the key success. "i don't trust the council, not a bit. nor their intentions at any point. i joined lamia scale because i trusted you and i respected master ooba as a mage." he was certainly not rushing that much to a guild. even if gray had inspired him somewhat. only a bit. lyon didn't want to think about him right now. "and...sherry, you need the help. i will always provide it, no matter what."

and that was true. lyon would do anything for his team. marriage, real or not, he didn't care. as long as he could help sherry, he was willing to do it. that was a big part of it, too. he wanted to help one of his closest friends.

Nothing could break her the way her children could, it seemed---and as she had died, the bar had been raised quite high. Still. She knew that she had done Lyon wrong. She knew that her defence was weak, fragile. Insufficient. Inadequate. None of this had been supposed to happen, but her plans had come undone---fate had not unfolded the way she would have liked. The spindle that she had lost her grip on had unspooled, but everything had slipped out of her control.

There had been no sense of peace for her. The cut had been too deep. And it had been left to fester, there had been no healing. The silence and the peace of the woods had rejected her, there had been nothing for her to escape to. The serenity of nature had not sheltered her when she had needed it the most. She had travelled down the road of grief for such a long time that she had been beyond hope, but she had still wanted to try. Alas---she had been out of time. Out of good moves.

And Lyon had paid the price for that. Even then, such a long time ago, he had been too eager to shoulder the burden of responsibility. It had worried her then, and it seemed like this concern had not evaporated when she had. He had been supposed to go out into the world she had been hiding from. He had been supposed to go into a life where light filled every corner.

it was almost astonishing how quickly one can slip back into an old, old habit. it was one that, when thought of, made adult lyon cringe just a bit. the habit is the part of him that waited on the edge, eager to listen, to wait for ur too talk. his attention was focused, he felt impatient, each second an eternity. but he always waited. all the way back then, when she was his teacher and now, when she ... well, teacher is a rather retired title. he's learned how to learn and grow on his own now. his dynamic ice make has come a long, long way.

mother felt...personal. and legal. he's never called her that.

mentor, maybe. mentor could work. it was flexible, more mature. his mentor finally spoke and — lyon was left in confusion.

"ur..." lyon's brows furrowed, "why would i be angry with you?" it was genuine. he ... he made his own fair share of mistakes. his entire...moon drip experiment was dangerous. what could he be angry about? with ur, at least? in fact, he's let go of a lot of anger over the years.

ah, wait. "if it's about .... not contacting me, that's .... i mean, i get it, ur. you literally came back to life. i'm not on the top of the list of priorities after something like that, i get it. besides, i'm an adult now." something coiled within him and he crossed his arms over his chest.

The more things changed, the more they stayed the same. A common saying, but one that had truth to it. Ur---Ur who had mastered the art of freezing things---just wished it was not true to this extent. Lyon should have been allowed to find more peace of mind. She did not think that had been possible for him, and guilt surged within her veins once more. She should have done better---for him, but that had not been possible at the time. In some way, the deck had been stacked against them.

She rubbed her wrist as if she tried to smoothe out the faint little scar that had remained there from moving debris, all those years ago, right after Deliora had devasted Gray's hometown. It was strange how that scar had stayed. How she was not allowed to forget some things. There was another scar on her left knee, and that was the one she loathed. A reminder of the collapse.

'' It has been longer for you than for me, I'd wager, '' she said as she forced herself to keep her voice smooth and calm. Getting too emotional would mean to risk being emotionally manipulative, and she did not want to do that. '' . . . but it is good to see you, Lyon. ''

it was good to see him. that surprised lyon; enough so that he began to feel his heartbeat again. his body has now settled into this newness. he had faced hells of his own making and of others making, he almost died in an explosion, fought against dragons (rather futilely, for he was no slayer), fought against the mere memory of ur now and all the worst humanity had to offer from alvarez. and yet, he was here. with ur. he did not want to fight.

fighting was rarely ever his first instinct, only when it was forced upon him by circumstance did he choose it. he was an inquisitive type. lyon first wanted to understand what he did not. in the years since he last saw ur, he spoke more languages, ancient ones too, and has read many, many more texts than even the child version of him could have imagined. it was knowledge he wanted. always. it was all he needed.

( The thought almost caused hysterics, but she managed to breathe past that. )

In some ways, ways that could not be put into words, she had dreaded this reunion more than most others. Lyon, she supposed, was the one her 'death' had toppled into the worst crisis. And she had not gotten to say goodbye---Gray had had at least that much, not that she thought it had helped him much. And Lyon had deserved the goodbye just as much, but nothing had been fair---or according to plan, that day.

She ran a hand through her hair, blue eyes never leaving Lyon. She would not need Ice Make: Eden to cut through this unpleasant awkwardness, she thought. Words had never been her forte, but she would have to say something. She wished Adina had given her a fair chance to prepare for this, but Adina had always been one to swim in sink-or-swim scenarios. And her older sister knew that if Ur would wait until she felt that she had prepared a sufficient statement, years would pass.

evidence-based. yes. that was something lyon was still rather infamous for. it was nice to know that habit was ingrained long before he was desperate, measuring the ice husk — no, it was not a husk, it was her. was this always a fact or was it born of desperation? he was, again, no longer sure. it would depend on how much consciousness his teacher had when she was ice. that was something he both needed to know and it was knowledge that he should absolutely not have. why was it the same decisions that continued to haunt?

besides. he could still do the math and facts add up all too easily for lyon. she probably knew enough about what he had done; his hand in the unmaking of her last choice — for she did not reach out to him on purpose. she was pushed into this. shame gripped his figure yet he disguised it with a raise of an eyebrow — a false casualty to this encounter — "i originally thought she might be connected to you, but dismissed it as the name is popular. i should follow my instincts more."

back, sender gives receiver a back hug.

beckon, sender beckons receiver closer with a finger.

blood, sender cleans blood off of receiver.

book, sender helps receiver get a book from a higher part of the shelf.

care, sender takes care of receiver when they're sick.

catch, sender catches receiver by the waist after they bump into each other.

choke, sender saves receiver from choking by giving them the heimlich.

cold, sender places their jacket over receiver's shoulders.

cry, sender wipes tears off receiver's face with their thumbs.

dance, sender sticks a hand out to receiver and invites them to dance.

dip, sender skinny dips in front of receiver and invites them to join.

dog, sender's dog pulls them in receiver's direction.

drive, sender drives receiver somewhere in their car.

drag, sender drags receiver into a room and closes the door behind them.

draw, sender draws receiver like one of their french girls.

face, sender turns receiver's face towards them.

flower, sender gives receiver a flower.

footsie, sender initiates footsie with receiver under the table.

forehead, sender presses their forehead against receiver's.

grab, sender grabs receiver's wrist to stop them from leaving.

jump, sender jumps onto receiver's back.

kiss, sender kisses receiver.

link, sender links arms with receiver while walking.

massage, sender offers receiver a massage.

patch, sender patches up receiver's wounds.

piano, sender teaches receiver how to play the piano.

pin, sender pins receiver's hands behind their back.

pluck, sender plucks something out of receiver's hair.

press, sender presses receiver against a wall.

propose, sender proposes to receiver.

quiet, sender gestures for receiver to be quiet.

rest, sender rests their head on receiver's shoulder.

serenade, sender serenades receiver with a song.

sign, sender walks into a sign and receiver sees.

size, sender measures the size of their hand against receiver's.

shoes, sender removes receiver's shoes for them.

sun, sender rubs sunblock onto receiver's back.

tattoo, sender gives receiver a tattoo.

tie, sender helps tie receiver's tie.

tuck, sender tucks receiver's hair behind their ear.

umbrella, sender lets receiver under their umbrella.

warning, sender presses a knife against receiver's neck as a warning.