Vanity

She was relieved when Emma dropped her wand. It wasn’t a real threat, but Narcissa was glad she wouldn’t be forced to duel someone she actually liked, regardless of circumstance. “I’ve only just arrived, it’s too early to tell.” She spoke. If Cissa had it her way she wouldn’t be stuck here long enough to have an opinion past disdain.

“Lucius.” She confirmed, glancing around them once again. It wasn’t likely he would be caught up in this, but she could never tell for certain. “I shouldn’t be out too long, Draco is at home and could wake at any moment.” And anyways, Narcissa couldn’t will herself into being part of this for very long. “But I suppose I could spare a few more minutes,” she added with a small smile. Appearances were always important, and Emma was one of the few she genuinely liked. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

Emma forced a smile, “Yes but I’m exhausted. I’m a little jealous you get to go home to a small baby, it gives you a reason to rest and be away,” she said lightly. 

“You need to take care of yourself,” Andy reminded her, a maternal note having taken up residence in her tone. “Have you been eating? I know there’s…. a lot going on, but you can’t fight the fight if you’re not standing, right?” She decided to follow on Emma’s footsteps, taking a seat on one of the crates near by. “I’m okay. So far there’s nothing going on that I can’t handle. I’ll pass on the drink, though. I’m trying to keep my wits about me tonight.” 

Emma nodded, “More for me then,” but she didn’t take another drink. “I do honestly need some food in me- do you happen to have something that will keep my energy up?” she asked, not really thinking she’d have something. She looked away from Andy, “I don’t even know how I feel about this news and I haven’t had a moment to think.” 

Some logical part of her brain continued to tell her this was stupid and dangerous, and that going home to Harry was the only smart option. But Lily had never been good with taking the easy way in things, even if it was for the better, and she knew if she sat at home, she would constantly worry and drive herself mad.

She let out a relieved sigh of her own, grateful Emma didn’t seem willing to fight her anymore on it. That wouldn’t change her actions, but it was nice all the same. “I suppose it’s probably one of the safer options. Are you sure you feel up to doing it yourself?” She asked, not blind to the slight tinge of alcohol that seemed to hang around the other. Then her eyes scanned the burning chaos and Lily chewed on her lip. So much destruction. “Merlin, it’s awful.” She sighed, taking it in, her horrified state growing by the minute.

Emma nodded and pointing her wand at Lily’s hair she silently changed the color to a dark black like her own and then with a little flick of her wand Lily’s hair braided itself into two braids. Emma looked surprised, “Whoops sorry, that’s just- this is what I do before I play quidditch, must be on autospell,” she said shrugging with a slight smile. “You look nice though, I always wondered what you’d look like this.”

Emma sighed. “Yeah, I’m a little drunk but I’m good at house cleaning and self care even if I was blind with my wand hand tied behind my back but too important things I think you can hang around before anyone notices you- there is a lot of cautious and I think many people are sloshed. I’ve been kissed by like three people already- it’s gross,” she winced. 

Having the other Marauders find out he was a werewolf had been stressful enough for Remus to make him sure it was something he would never want to do again.  Live alone in quiet infamy, never telling a soul who he was or what he was up to.  He thought he could get away with it too, if he was careful enough.  He hadn’t expected his life to be like this, or that he’d ever feel comfortable enough with anyone to actually tell them.  Of course it was more or less an open secret within the Order, but Emma he’d told directly, himself, some small token of the trust and esteem he had in her.  

The fact that she could even forget it made Remus feel oddly warm, that it wasn’t the first thing she thought of every time she saw him.  "No, I don’t expect any of us are right now,“ Remus murmured a little darkly under his breath.  He didn’t ever feel like he was the best at comforting anyone, really, but he reached up and gently squeezed Emma’s shoulder.  "I can’t even imagine how much worse it is for you and the rest of you out there pretending to be a part of it,” he murmured softly, shaking his head.  He could see the strain it was putting on her and felt a surge of sympathy.  “You’re strong though, Emma.  You wouldn’t have been chosen for this if you weren’t.  And if you need to scream about it, I’m always a willing ear.”  He gave her a tight smile and started to rummage around in his pockets.   "It’s not a good meal and it’s not the rest you need, but here,“ Remus said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a bar of chocolate.  "Hardly nutritious, but at least the sugar rush can carry you a bit farther.”  He pursed his lips.  "Unless you have time to pop out of here for a real meal.  Do you think you’ll be missed?“

Remus sighed and ran his fingers a little anxiously over his already messy hair.  "Of course I am, but I didn’t know how to sit there and just let it happen all around me.  I had to get out and see it for myself.  So I could be sure it was real.”

Emma did feel comfort with his hand on her shoulder and she gave a small smile, really listening to his words. She did like being called strong and she believed Remus wouldn’t lie to her even if Emma knew he really didn’t understand what exactly she was going through she knew he had his own struggles that he was humble about. It made Emma like him even more. 

Emma laughed when the chocolate was handed to her. “I don’t like sweets, well I like one kind but it’s not chocolate,” but in good faith she took a bit and nibbled on it. Feeling it go down her throat felt good and she realized she really needed to eat something if chocolate was making her feel better. She perked up, “I think I could grab some food- I bet you’re ravenous as well. I couldn’t be gone for too long but I’ve been up forever, they can lose be for a bit.” 

She had a small grin and pointed to him amused, “You Gryffindors, I think it’s amazing what you’ll do.” 

“Somewhere big, popular,” Alecto told her, mind reeling with ideas, mannequins floating near the ceiling, animated clothing waiting to attack when the stoors open, toys with a mind of their own. She wanted to turn muggle’s items against them, the strange pieces they made with their primitive technology would become as strange to them as they were to her. “Somewhere filled with useless plastic!”

Emma shook her head- “Not plastic- what about gold? And silver? And jewels?” she asked, her voice rising. She put her hand out, “ready? I’ll take us to...” she thought for a bit, “Tiffany & Co. on Bond Street! Anywhere on Bond Street really..” 

He had said yes to the drinking, but the truth was that the moment those words had left his lips, he had started to regret them. He wanted to just walk down the street once or twice, be seen by a bunch of people and get back home as soon as possible. He was in no mood to play friendly, not even to one of the people he always had his back no matter what… With Dumbledore dead… His mind was heavy with thoughts. ‘Don’t push me so hard, Vanity.’ He said instead, playing into the role of being forced to go with her. Those inside of the establishment shouldn’t realise that the two of them were on a much friendlier basis than they should. 

‘Let’s sit over there.’ He pointed to one of the tables closest to the bar. Even with so many people inside they still could be overheard, so he only hoped to get himself drunk quickly enough to be able to just leave.

She squeezed his shoulder playful but didn’t say another word, knowing who was around them. 

The news of Dumbledore’s death left Andromeda with a heavy feeling in her bones. Her stomach was in knots and she was barely able to keep her fingers from shaking. What she wanted to do was lock herself away in her bedroom at the manor and grieve. She and Dumbledore may not have been close like some of the other Order members, but Andromeda had both respected and admired him. She had thought he was their best shot at turning things around and coming out on the winning side. And now that he was gone she couldn’t help the sinking feeling inside of her or her mind telling her that this new life she had been faking, might become more long-term than she had hoped. 

Of course she couldn’t do that. Not when keeping up appearances was so important. Andromeda was, after all, still on the outer edges of the pureblood community, her past sin neither forgotten nor forgiven by many. So she had held her head high and gone out, watching the celebration going on and trying to part-take as little as possible while still being convincing. She had had a drink or two and watched while her peers set fires to the buildings around her and danced through the smoke. 

Needing a few moments away from the chaos, Andromeda had wandered farther from the center of town where most of the celebrating had been taking place. She’d been looking for a moment of peace to gather herself and re-group before continuing the charade, but instead she had found Emma, a slight wobble in her steps but her wand held out and ready.

“It’s just me,” Andromeda said, eyeing her wand with a quirked eyebrow. “You look like you’re having fun.” 

Emma saw it was Andromeda and she nodded, letting her wand hand fall and deciding to sit on one of the crates. “I’m so tired, Andromeda, I feel like I haven’t slept in weeks. I don’t know how much energy I have left in me to keep going. How are you doing? Would you like a drink?” she asked, passing one of the bottles to her. 

She narrowed her eyes at Emma slightly, she had never liked being refused. Her whole childhood had been her parents indulging Amycus’s every whim, and ignoring her own. Love was shown through indulgence, she had known that her whole life. 

“What was this all for, if we’re still going to hide in magical parts of London? Still going to let the muggles believe we are nothing more than a scary story. We should be taking this to them.”

Shopping. Alecto considered it for a moment, it certainly could be interesting, the shops would be deserted this time of night, but there was an opportunity for some havoc, a message left for when they arrived the next morning. Impossible things in a mundane shopping center, “Come on then.” She laughed, offering Alecto her hand, “Let’s have a shopping trip!” 

Emma felt her heart quicken when Alecto looked at her like that but she suppressed it with a smile. “Yes! Let’s go shopping! I’d love to raid some of those shops with no one there, too many muggles around make me feel sick, honest.” she said, scrunching her nose. “Want me to take you to a place?” she asked, putting her hand out so she could apparate them, growing excited at the prospect of taking clothes. “Any preferences?” 

Lily was distinctly aware that it was dangerous and stupid for her to be out in plain sight. At any point in time, but especially on nights like this. Her hair alone was a vivid indication of who she was, to say nothing of the fact she was certain her involvement in the Order and blood status alone gave way to her being noticeable. But she couldn’t help it. The world was burning around her, and she needed to see it for herself. Even still, when someone approached her, she tensed. Her grip on her wand tightened but immediately proved unnecessary; Emma wasn’t going to harm her.

“Harry is safe, nobody can find him.” She answered, biting back the quick remark on her sanity. There was always the chance of losing her mind, especially given all that had happened. This was dangerous, but she would get back to her son, she had to. “Call it what you want, I needed to see it for myself.” Lily continued, letting out a sigh. Dumbledore was dead, the world was on fire. “If anyone sees me I will Apparate home in a second, Emma, I promise.” Why was she promising? She could defend herself. But Emma was right, too, and Lily knew it no matter how stubborn she was.

Emma let out a sigh of relief but still she didn’t understand Gyrffindors in any of these capabilities. Why risk your life? For nothing? 

Emma nodded, understand there was no use arguing with anyone. “I can change your hair color at the very least,” but she surveyed what what was happening with Lily, “This is it. Constant destruction right now, I was pulled out of bed really early and there seems no signs of stopping. It’s probably what you’d expect, I haven’t been able to get away. Lots of broken property.” 

Owls had been arriving at the manor all day. It seemed that the very minute Lucius had signed the order, everyone in their circles had known about it. Death Eaters and those in their society alike had sent in their praises – to a degree that was both irritating and nauseating. Albus Dumbledore was dead, a victory she knew that her husband would no doubt take all the credit for. She didn’t care much either way that the old man was dead. He had ever been much of a fixture in her life, even when she was in school. It didn’t matter to her one way or the other, but she knew the Dark Lord would be pleased. Knew that Lucius would take this as a victory for their family. When he finally made it back to the manor she knew he would be pleased with how much praise he had received. 

The violent outbursts of ‘celebration’ that had erupted seemed more senseless than deserved. They were still at war even if Dumbledore was no longer alive and dictating the Order’s decisions. She hadn’t needed to leave the grounds to know that. It was a relief to know that Draco was home and safe, away from whatever idiotic notions their kind would act on tonight. Narcissa wouldn’t have left him at all if she had any indication what was happening. Bella was no doubt off causing more chaos than anyone deemed necessary, but being part of the violence was never her husband’s way. 

She had been curious enough to leave and search for him, but it was still fruitless. The madness was worse than Narcissa had expected, fire everywhere, loud screaming of drunkards filling the air. It irritated her to no end, taking it in. Senseless fools. As her feet settled, Cissa almost didn’t notice the younger girl, but she recognized the voice immediately. Emma. Of course she got dragged into this. “Oh, put that down, it’s only me.”  

Emma smiled and lowered her wand, standing up a bit straighter. “Hello Narcissa, I haven’t seen you at the festivities yet- are you having a good time?” 

Emma picked up the case of alcohol and held it near her. “Are you looking to drink or perhaps for Lucius? I’m heading back- would you like to join me?” 

Remus was generally good at blending in, he had to be. It was what let him get this far.  There was no other way a dark creature such as himself would have made it through school, much less be able to have any kind of semblance of a life.  Even if it was falling apart around him at the moment. And it might have been what made him so hard to trust, by most everyone.  Pity really, if it wasn’t for the mixed blood, he might have made a pretty fitting double agent.  

“I’m fine,” Remus said, clearing his throat to get the slight shake out of his voice, pulling her deeper into the alley and casting a quick silencing spell and cloaking spell over them before dropping his hood from over his head, his fingers sliding over the back of his neck.  "Just lingering…from the other night.  Full moon, you know,“ he said and ducked his head.  "Werewolf wounds, frightfully hard to heal.”  He pursed is lips, and then looked back at the flames rising all around him.  "It’s madness isn’t it?“ he breathed.  "Utter madness.  Are you…are you alright?  It can’t be easy.  Having to play along in this.”

Emma didn’t even realize the full moon was yesterday but that would explain it. Usually it’s her first guess to why Remus looks so... Remus but with everything that has been happening, she’s been not thinking clearly. Immediately she had assumed a Death Eater had gotten him. She nodded and gave a small supportive smile. 

She nodded to his question, “It’s terrifying- I’m, I don’t know I’m not all right.” Emma stuttered, not many people asked her. “I’ve been up since- I don’t know when but Evan apparated into my house early and took me out and I’ve been up ‘partying’ since daybreak. It’s terrifying how no one is stopping and I have to go back out there. I haven’t eaten, my stomach is full of fire whiskey.” 

He could feel it dripping down the back of his neck, even now, slow and steady and not gushing now, thank whatever gods may or may not exist, but still there, present, the slightly coppery smell of it burning his nostrils.  Remus had never thought of himself as dramatic in any sense of the word, most given to quiet reflections.  He hadn’t had the time to mourn really, not any of them.  Hardly even his mother when she’d finally passed, quietly, in the dead of night while Remus had been holding his bile down, hobnobbing with the darkest of dark beings, going along for the ride and trying to find out something- something that could…

But that was all before, and this was now. And now there was an unhealed wound on the back of his neck, deep down, where he’d managed to dig in his claws.  Three days, and it was still trickling down the back of his neck.  The moons were horrible now, almost as bad as before he’d had the rest of them, but with things as the were, the wolf had more to be angry about.  And now.  Three days and still recovering, feeling like he’d had the very marrow sucked out of his bones and he was more or less a walking skeleton, to have news like this.  

They had all loved Dumbledore, every single one of them Remus had been sure of that, but he’d been something of a savior to him.  He could be accused of hero worship along with the rest of them, and he would probably deserve it, but Dumbledore had saved him.  If Dumbledore hadn’t managed to convince everyone to allow him to attend school, Remus probably would have killed himself ages ago.  He knew that as a certainty.  

The whole world felt…hollower now, and Remus felt all the more a ghost for that, moving through the streets with his cloak drawn up over his head, and feeling that damn stream of blood sliding down the back of his neck, his eyes burning with unshed tears.  He really had no idea where he was going or why he was going there, just knowing he had to be out and about, to at least pretend to be a part of it all.  He nearly ducked into the nearest dark alley when he saw someone else approaching, but a sliver of light caught her just enough across the face and Remus heaved something of a sigh of relief.  "Emma,“ he said and lifted his hood just a little to offer her one of the most meager excuses of a smile he could.  "Hello,” he offered after that, his voice almost reedy, thick with some unnamed emotion.  He reached out and fell short of touching her elbow lightly, cocking his head and trying to draw her deeper into the darkness, where it might be better to talk.  

Emma felt this wave of relief hit her when she saw Remus. He was probably the only one in the order that still had this walk and sense of a death eater, it was uncanny. (Besides Severus but that was ... Severus.) It must be the slow way he moved or the serious expressions that haunt his face, either way it was hard for her not to feel glad then a worried expression etched on her face. 

“Remus? What are you doing here? Are you okay?” she squinted but followed his eyes, understanding him instantly that he wanted to talk somewhere a little safer. “Are you hurt?” she whispered. 

There was urgency in her voice, of that much he was certain and he could more or else tell what exactly it was she was so concerned about. Emma had always been on a lookout for him, scolding him whenever news of his especially reckless behaviour made rounds around Hogwarts and then later in life. ‘Yes, yes Vanity. You look good.’ Finally, he mustered enough indifference (something that was hard coming when addressing Emma) for it to fill his voice to the brim. 

But he couldn’t really get himself to care. They knew after all. He had made it clear that he was only joining because he wanted his family to be safe and sound and he hadn’t shown them any reason to believe otherwise. That’s why James could never make it into the inner circle, because he was too opposed to their views and he couldn’t stop himself from showing it. He only followed, he stayed out of way, he gathered any info he could tell and looked for any weak points that might have been overlooked otherwise. He was not going to pretend that he wanted to participate in such a purge. ‘Fine. I could use a drink.’ It took him a long moment to answer as he weighted the possible outcomes of them sharing drinks. In the end he decided that getting pissed was a more favourable option. 

She sighed in relief at his words that he would get a drink with her. She needed something that stopped the pounding of her head and she could chalk this up to keeping an eye on Potter to the others and still be seen as someone whose into all this destruction. Besides if she started drinking just water she won’t be pushed to drink more by James, he might not even notice with how he’s looking.