Pandas Anonymous

You’re a cupcake. I like you already. I completely agree, you know? People are interesting because they’re interesting in their own way. People are cool. Well, minds are anyway.

I don't think I've ever been called a cupcake, so I officially like you, as well.  And yes, everyone has something special about them that makes them interesting.  This is all very inspiring.

Hello Emily! How’re you today? Sorry my story wasn’t entertaining enough for you. I’m pretty much the least interesting person in the world. 

Oh, no, I'm sure it was entertaining!  I just...skimmed, I'm sorry.  I highly doubt that.  Everyone is interesting in their own way.

I don’t think you should…

Oh, good, that's comforting, thank you.

Right here.

Should I be afraid?

I'm gonna be honest, all I got out of the was your name, so hi Joe!  It's nice to meet you, I'm Emily.

That would be very time consuming...

A wild Sebastian appeared.

Where?

Damn it, I thought that you would. It’s really not that scary, it’s a good movie, 10/10 would recommend. Do you want to be in a Jennifer Lawrence and Sebastian Stan sandwich? Because that doesn’t sound comfy at all. No cockblocking.

I'm a smart cookie.  I might bite the bullet and watch it, then.  Some day when I have a friend over, and it's not just me and my animals.  No, no I don't.  This isn't something I want, Jennifer!  This is just something that would happen if I get scared on my own, and it's all your fault.  I have no say in the matter.

Then I’m not ever going to make you watch scary movies. You should watch House at the End of the Street though, that’s totally not scary, at all. Emily, no. That’s cockblocking. 

That's the scary movie you were in, and I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT JENNIFER!  Cockblocking or not, you will have brought it upon yourself.

Why not? They’re just movies, you know that they’re not real. They shouldn’t scare you. Are you going to fly to Paris just to do that? Because if you do, then that’s dedication. You’ll have to be cool with sleeping on the couch though, because my boyfriend will be taking the other side of the bed.

I know they're not real!  I don't know, they're just...no.  I can rationalize it in my head all I want, bu it never makes it any better afterwards.  I don't like scary things, and I don't like purposefully scaring myself.  Yes, I would, and I can totally fit in the middle.  I'd feel safer that way, anyway.

You’re mean, I don’t like you.

You want me to watch a scary movie!  You are the mean one!  I don't do scary movies, at all.  They're terrifying.  I would probably cry.  I'll watch it, if you're totally cool with me showing up on your doorstep demanding that you make all the scary things go away, and sit by while I sleep so nothing can come and get me.

But yes.

I'm still gonna say no.

You should watch them and see how truly horrific they are

But...no.