*sorrynotsorry*

(Before page 600)

Sonya Rostova: Cries because she's worried she won't be able to marry her cousin

Pierre Bezukhov: Meets a Freemason and then a few hours (??) later gives the freemasons all of the clothes he's wearing and his wedding ring to join the freemasons.

Natasha Rostova: Forgets her fiancé because a random dude said she was charming and then ignores the opera she's seeing to listen to every word he says

Anatole Kuragin: Has a live bear in his living room.

Fedya Dolokhov: Drinks a bottle of rum with his legs hanging out of a third story window

Nikolai Ilyich Rostov (Nikolenka, Nikolushka, Nikolashka, Kolya, Nicolas, Coco): Literally has nine names OR cries that no one loves him for like a whole page because he was bruised and no one will let him sit down because his injuries are so minor.

Ippolit Kuragin: Tells a story in Russian with a French accent because everyone else is speaking French to be fancy.

Anna Pavlovna Scherer: Tells Prince Vassily he has such nice children ("excluding Anatole, I don't like him")

Old Prince Bolkonsky: Told his daughter if his son is going to marry such a young woman he is too and then attempts to seduce her 20-something year old best friend.

Boris Drubetskoy: Tried to woo a girl by writing her super emo poetry in French.

Persephone:…Love?

He Tian: