Emilie Johannessen

Smiley days in Scotland! Don’t ask, just accept and let the contagion spread ‘cause I’m sure everyone can use one every once in a while. I know I’ve been hard-pressed to find one the past while, but things are looking up.

With that being said, I’m back in Edinburgh safe and sound. I’ve spent a lot of time bouncing from here to Los Angeles for some much needed family time and have definitely fallen off the radar, but I’m stuck like glue now! Can a girl get some socializing on and get back to some regularly scheduled normalcy? Thaaaaaaaaanks.

YAS GIRL! Smile all you like, you’re gorgeous! Also, what is the reason for all the smiling? I’m just wondering? Curious, and all that?

I do have to say that Canada has certainly been leaving a wonderful impression thus far. I was lucky enough to be invited to a Canadian colleague’s Thanksgiving dinner at his cottage in British Columbia, and it has been nothing but a stunning experience. Consider me swayed, North America.

Has anyone else found themselves in a place that seems almost surreal?

This place looks amazing, and looks like a place that I need to go to! I love a good, beautiful, mountainy area.

Im looking forward to it. Ill either have to get mine from my mom or she can send them to me in a text. But I will make sure I have them by the time we meet.

Are you going to faint at the sight of blood Emie?

You will have to start lifting weights or doing press ups. Im going to take you free climbing eventually. But we can work up to it. Im excited to meet  you. Its been a while since I met someone that wants to climb.

I cant answer that. It would ruin the moment.

Wow! You are almost a foot smaller. I was probably your height when I was 12. But your not short. Im pretty sure 5′6 is normal. Isnt it?

Oh, now I’m really interested! If you’re sharing pictures of your own then it’ll make for a good trip and an entertaining little picnic. Were you an odd one when you were little? Or were you more the adorable type?

Nope! Cross my heart and all, I’ll be fine. Just not a fan of it, but never passed out at the sight of blood. You won’t have to pick me up off the floor, I’ll be just fine.

Is that all? Just a bunch of weights and arm exercise? Can you imagine the giant guns I’ll have after all that work? I’ll be even more impressive. Watch out! Alright, but let’s really work up to it, because remember that I said I’m afraid of heights when my life’s in danger. I’d say free climbing likely falls in that category. I think if I can do regular climbing, where I’m not worried about falling to my death, I’ll get used to the idea of free climbing and then you’ll be able to drag me along. Some things are worth the effort, and if I can manage to work past my irrational fear, then even better. I’m excited to meet you too, it sounds like we’ll have plenty of adventure ahead.

Curiouser and curiouser. Alright, I won’t push you to answer.

Oh ha ha! I can’t help it if you’re incredibly tall! I’m pretty sure that 5′6″ is average height. Don’t be surprised if I ask for you to put me on your shoulders, I’d like to see what the world is like from the shoulders of someone so tall. Piggy back rides too, don’t be surprised if I ask for those as well. You’re just asking for it with all that height.

It is bullshit but I don’t mind being painted as the devil. My wife wears the name Satan like a badge of honour. Let them think we’re bad people. They can’t prove any of the lies they make up. 

It’s a good thing that you’ve got that mental fortitude. Not many people can handle things like that. Doesn’t generally bother me, but I’ve seen plenty of people brought down by comments smaller than what you’re likely experiencing. Your wife sounds like one of the most interesting people I’ve ever heard of, and I need to meet her. Ah, well, so long as the people who matter know you’re not bad people, then who cares, right?

Bring them on our hike. We can laugh about them on our picnic with a view.

Shadowing is allowed. We even have schools that do field trips. High schoolers taking human anatomy can come watch the heart surgeries in the gallery. There is a little bit of paperwork involved. But its not trouble. Its mostly your word that you wont present yourself as a doctor or involve yourself in the patients care. As long as you dont stick your hand in a chest cavity my job security will be intact.

I free climb. Its not safe if you dont know what youre doing. But we can climb traditionally if that is what your more comfortable with. Im very excited to see Norway. You talked it up alot.

We will have to do both so you can decide if you prefer tacos or burritos. You dont really know yourself until you know the answer to that question. 

Im not sure how tall I am. I was 6′3″ last time I was measured. But my brother Matthias is 6′4″ and Im at least 1-2 inches taller than he is now. I would say 6′5″ is the safe answer. How about you? 

Consider it done! I’ll bring all of my embarrassing photos for us to look through, and we’ll both get a good laugh. I haven’t looked at them in ages.

Well, you can guarantee I’ll sign a paper that says I won’t involve myself in patient care, and I definitely won’t get the wild urge to stick my hand into any person’s chest cavity. I’ll leave all that to you and the other professionals. I have to admit, blood is not my favorite, so I’m not likely to stick my hand anywhere near it unless it’s absolutely necessary. I won’t pass out, but there’s a reason I went into working with numbers instead of the medical field, like you.

I’m not very strong, you’ll have to get a look at my noodle arms, and you’ll see that free climbing might not be the best idea for me. I think some traditional climbing where I can secure my weak little self and make sure I don’t go flying to the ground is for the best. I’ll try to work on lifting some weights and make my arms really impressive before we decide to climb. Norway will prove itself completely worthy of all the praise I’ve given it, I assure you.

Ooooh, I feel like I’m being tested, and if I answer wrong I might get a judgey face from you. I’m ready to try both tacos and burritos. I’d really like to know what this means for me once I’ve made my choice.

Nice and tall, I see! I’m 5′6″, which is no shrimp where ladies are concerned, but you’re just a couple of inches taller than me... only a couple.

Did you know I needed UN approval for the lattice? Not just from the country that I created it in or the country I gave it to. To run the lattice as the mode of transportation it was meant to be I had to seek permission from the United Nations. You see the potential damage it could do if things went wrong could be catastrophic. I have literally thousands of safety protocols in place so that if even one fails there are others in place to keep things going. I made something that while it revolutionised the way we live it also gave criminal organisations around the world room to breathe. They think that because of my past I’m using the Lattice as a front for some kind of criminal empire and they use my liberal way of living as evidence of that as if having an open marriage is a crime. 

That’s a load of bullshit. I’m sure that you’re not wanting to help criminals transport things internationally. It’s a new mode of transportation still, and just like with planes, I’m sure that eventually any flaws will be worked out. It’s trial and error. Nobody can predict exactly how things will effect or impact an area, or a culture, or a people. As for your open marriage, they can just shove their commentary right back up you know where. Who cares? When will people let others just love who they wanna love, and be with who they wanna be with? Just LET PEOPLE BE HAPPY.

This is true! Then you aren’t required to follow along with someone else’s plans and you could go and explore your own interests impulsively. Not to say I don’t enjoy company when I’m travelling, but it’s certainly not a loss if I’m out by myself. And one of them, yes! The culture is celebrated so wonderfully there by its people, so it was a great experience. Needless to say I think it would be a bit different currently, but at the time it was phenomenal. And my family is quite large; there’s five children, myself included, but cousins that live nearby that may as well have been my siblings.

I finally got to see Scotland this year, it was beautiful so I don’t blame you for making it a favorite of yours. What’s on your list of places to go?

You seem like the sort of guy who generally has company more often than not. I’ve seen you on this thing, inviting people to Rome, offering up hangouts. You’re the friendly man who I feel is very much a “the more the merrier” sort. Not saying that you can’t handle being on your own, I’m sure that you can, and on occasion it might even be nice, but I think you thrive when you’re around other people. I say that, from one teacher to another. Hold on, did you say you’re one of FIVE?! HOLY SHIT! That’s so many! My God... your poor mom... has she lost her mind with all five of you? Did you guys pick on each other a lot? Did you fight a lot when you were younger? I bet you’re aaaall best friends now. I sometimes wish I had siblings for that reason. Now that I’m an adult.

Well I’ve already started appearing in science books. History may take a moment. I hope when it gets to that point it’s as something great rather than something else since the media of several countries are trying their hardest to demonise me.

That’s quite the achievement, and of course history will take a little longer, but I’m sure that you’ll be there when the time comes, just the same. I don’t see how something this incredible will be looked at negatively in the future. Although, maybe I haven’t been paying attention as to the commentary. Why are countries trying to demonize you?

I doubt you ever passed for a skinny boy with long hair Emie. But if you make it out to San Diego I will get you a fake white coat so that you can shadow me at work. Its a daily problem. It seems like everyone has a quirky grandmother or grandfather and a single granddaughter. I always tell them that they should pick someone with more free time and less student debt than a doctor for their loved ones to start a life with. They all think my career is like Greys Anatomy, House or ER.

Its never cool to be covered in sweat and chalk. I climb to clear my head and I usually climb alone. There isnt a single view better than the one you get off of a cliff. Im glad youre going to try this out with me. Most people get scarred thinking about the height or the exercise. Its sad how scared people are of the outdoors these days.

Yeah. I love fish. I enjoy fishing too. Are you a camper? It sounds like we have a good plan to not have ourselves as patients in a hospital. I much prefer my company to not be my doctor or patient. Do you have any preferences about Mexican food? Are you a taco or burrito girl? Do you like spicy food? Fruity drinks? 

I bet you would be adorable as the Queen of Hearts. I would get you a tiny tiara for your giant head. But if Im being honest I prefer you in your normal proportions now. I guess you could make even more jokes about me if my head got any bigger. Im already very tall.

I assure you that’s exactly what they thought I looked like! Remind me to show you pictures sometime. They’re terrible, but then you’ll understand. Would you really let me shadow you at work? Is that allowed? You’re not going to get yourself into trouble if I’m following you around work just so I can catch one of these moments, are you? Can I just say that if your career were actually like Grey’s Anatomy, House, or ER, I would be genuinely concerned for healthcare.

Honestly, I’ll try my best, but don’t be too disappointed if I’m struggling! Also, I’m afraid of heights, but only when my life’s in potential danger. I bungee jumped once, and that just about terrified me, but standing on a cliff and just looking out at the horizon? That’s fine. It’s when I look down that things start getting a little terrifying. Still, Norway has such incredible views, that I can’t help but overcome that little bit of my fear of heights.

Perfect! Then I won’t worry too much where fish is concerned. And I’m not the best camper, but I can squeak on by. I did it when I did the big 4 day hike here. I’m telling you, it’s worth it. I have no idea if I’m a taco or burrito girl, I’ve had neither. I do like a little bit of spice, and I’m fine with all the drinks. I’m very flexible. Not at all picky.

I’ll try my very best to stay at normal proportions, but with all your compliments, I make absolutely no promises. How tall are you? I’m genuinely curious.

It’s one of my greatest accomplishments. Showing people the world. I truly believe experiencing other countries and cultures makes us better people.

I couldn’t agree with you more, and honestly, half of us can only hope to make half the impact on any given person that you are with your genius invention. You’ll go down in history, although, I’m not sure you want or expect that notoriety. You’ll get it all the same.