ruru 💭

Lloyd stood in the control room of the Bounty with his hands resting lightly against the railing, his attention fixed entirely on the deck below. From where he stood, he had a clear view of everything happening, but there was only one person he truly saw.

You.

A soft, almost absent smile had settled onto his face without him even realizing it, the kind that came from being so completely wrapped up in a moment that the rest of the world faded into the background. You were talking to Pixal, your hands moving wildly as you explained something he couldn’t quite hear, your expressions shifting quickly between mock seriousness and bright amusement. Every now and then, a laugh escaped you, and each time it did, Lloyd felt something warm and familiar tighten gently in his chest.

He had been standing there longer than he meant to, completely lost in the quiet pull of watching you exist so effortlessly, so comfortably, like you belonged exactly where you were.

So much so that he didn’t hear the door slide open behind him.

Misako stepped into the control room, originally in search of Wu, but she paused the moment her eyes landed on her son. At first, she was simply curious—Lloyd wasn’t usually this still—but then she noticed the expression on his face, the softness in his posture, the unmistakable look of someone who had forgotten the rest of the world.

Her gaze followed his, and then she understood.

A small, knowing smile formed on her lips as she stepped closer, her movements quiet enough not to disturb him, though she doubted he would have noticed either way. She joined him at the railing, her eyes settling on you just as the scene below began to shift.

Jay had appeared behind you, moving with exaggerated stealth as he held a water balloon carefully in both hands. Kai stood several feet away, already struggling to contain his laughter as he gestured subtly for Pixal to move. Pixal, ever perceptive, caught on quickly and stepped aside with a faint, amused smirk.

Lloyd noticed immediately, his gaze flickering between you and the unfolding prank.

For a brief moment, he considered warning you. The thought crossed his mind, lingered just long enough to almost become action—but then you said something, your expression lighting up again, and Jay edged closer.

The timing was too perfect.

Lloyd let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head slightly as he chose to stay silent.

A second later, the balloon burst against your back, water flying everywhere.

You jumped at the sudden cold, letting out a startled yelp that echoed across the deck, and Lloyd couldn’t hold back his laughter this time. It came easily, bright and genuine, as he watched you spin around in shock before immediately locking onto Jay, who was already halfway through his attempt to escape.

The chase that followed was just as chaotic as expected, with you darting after him while Kai doubled over laughing and Pixal observed with clear amusement.

“She’s something, isn’t she?”

The voice beside him shattered the moment.

Lloyd startled, his entire body tensing as he turned sharply, having completely forgotten he wasn’t alone. For a brief second, he just stared at his mother, caught off guard, before the sounds of your laughter drifted up from below again, filling the silence he didn’t know how to respond to.

“Uh—yeah,” he said quickly, clearing his throat as he tried to recover. “She’s cool.”

Misako raised an eyebrow, her expression openly unconvinced as she leaned slightly against the railing. “Just cool?”

The heat that rushed to Lloyd’s face was immediate and impossible to hide. He straightened instinctively, suddenly very aware of himself, of her, of everything.

“Well, I mean—she’s—” he started, only to falter under her gaze.

“I birthed you,” Misako interrupted calmly, though the hint of amusement in her voice made it clear she was enjoying this far too much. “You cannot lie to me, Lloyd. It’s obvious you like her.”

Lloyd’s embarrassment deepened, his gaze darting away before inevitably returning to you, as if drawn back without his permission. Down below, you had finally caught Jay, tackling him to the ground as he shouted protests, your laughter carrying easily through the open space as you wacked him repeatedly.

“She’s a…sweet girl,” Misako added, watching the scene with quiet fondness.

Lloyd’s expression softened again as he looked at you, the tension in his shoulders easing as something more honest settled in its place.

“She’s…” He hesitated, not because he didn’t know what to say, but because saying it out loud somehow made it more real. “She’s perfect.”

The words slipped out before he could second-guess them.

The moment they did, his heart began to pound, and he quickly looked down, rubbing the back of his neck as if that might somehow undo it. “I mean—not that I—like, obviously I don’t mean—”

Misako placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, stopping the spiral before it could begin.

“You need to tell her.”

Lloyd’s head snapped up immediately, his eyes widening in alarm. “I can’t—she doesn’t even like me.”

Misako didn’t look convinced in the slightest.

“Uh huh,” she replied flatly. “Sure she doesn’t.”

Lloyd frowned, the doubt creeping in despite himself. “She doesn’t…”

Misako turned her attention back toward you, her expression shifting into something patient, almost amused.

“Right,” she said. “That’s why she smiles at you every day, goes out of her way to stand next to you, checks on you after every mission, and does everything she can to make sure you’re safe and happy.”

Lloyd blinked, caught off guard as each example settled into place in his mind.

“And,” Misako continued, as though it were the most casual detail in the world, “she asked me what your favorite cake is so she could bake it for your birthday—”

The words hit all at once.

“Wait—what?”

Misako sighed softly, though her smile remained. “You two are obvious. Adorable, but obvious.”

Lloyd’s thoughts raced, replaying moments he had dismissed, gestures he had overanalyzed into nothing, expressions he had convinced himself didn’t mean what he hoped they did. Now, all at once, they seemed to shift into something entirely different.

Something real.

A small, hopeful smile began to form, tentative at first, then steadier as the idea took root.

“Do you really think—”

“I know,” Misako said gently, cutting him off before he could finish.

She gave his shoulder a small, reassuring squeeze before turning toward the door, clearly satisfied with what she’d set in motion.

“I can’t wait,” she added as she walked away, her tone light, almost teasing. “You two will give me beautiful grandchildren.”

The words took a second to fully register.

When they did, Lloyd’s expression changed instantly, all warmth and confidence vanishing as horror replaced it.

Additional note/s:

Once my navigation page is finished, the masterlink option will take you here. I have no plans in complicating my main further.

Thanos was dead.

His army lay scattered in the ruins, dust settling where chaos once raged. The sky, once marred by fire and destruction, now stretched open and vast, as if the universe itself had let out a breath.

You stood amidst the wreckage, your hands trembling at your sides. Blood and dirt coated your skin, but none of it mattered—not when victory had finally been won, not when you could finally look at Steve and think, We did it.

But there was something different about him.

Steve wasn’t celebrating. He wasn’t even looking at the horizon like he always did after a fight, searching for the next battle. Instead, his eyes were distant, fixed on something none of you could see.

A past he longed for.

And in that moment, you knew.

Even before he pulled you aside, even before he parted his lips to speak, you knew.

“I’m going back,” he said, voice steady, as if he had already made peace with his decision.

You blinked. “Back?”

“To the past.”

The words hit you harder than any punch Thanos could’ve thrown.

Your breath caught in your throat. “Steve, what are you saying?”

He exhaled slowly, looking down at the shield in his grasp. “Bruce is setting up the time travel again. This is my chance—my only chance.”

You didn’t need to ask what he meant. You knew. You had always known.

Peggy.

His true love. His soulmate.

The woman who had been waiting for him in a time long before you ever came into his life.

“I fought this war,” Steve continued, his eyes heavy with something you couldn’t bear to name. “I gave everything. But I never got to live.” His gaze met yours then, searching. “I think I deserve to, don’t you?”

You felt like you were being ripped apart from the inside.

What about me?

But you didn’t say it. You didn’t let the words leave your lips.

Because it wasn’t fair.

Because it was selfish.

Because you loved him.

And because loving him meant letting him go.

So you swallowed the lump in your throat and forced a small, trembling smile. “Yeah, Steve,” you whispered. “You do.”

His shoulders relaxed. Relief flickered in his eyes. He had been expecting you to fight him on this, but you couldn’t. You wouldn’t.

You would not be the reason he stayed.

No matter how much it broke you.

“I’ll miss you,” you admitted, your voice betraying the ache you were trying to suppress.

Steve’s expression softened. He reached forward, his gloved hand cradling your face for the briefest moment, his thumb brushing against your cheek in a way that made your heart ache.

“I’ll miss you too,” he said. And then, quietly, “You’re one of the best people I’ve ever known, Y/N.”

But not the one you love.

You nodded stiffly, forcing yourself to breathe. “Don’t be late for your dance.”

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, a faraway look in his eyes. “I won’t.”

Then, just like that, he was gone.

You stood there as he walked toward the platform, as he took the shield with him, as he disappeared into the past—into a life that was never yours to have.

And when he didn’t return, when Sam looked at you with pity in his eyes, when you realized that Steve Rogers had finally found his home in another time, in another woman’s arms—

You smiled.

Because that’s what love was, wasn’t it?

Letting go.

Even when it shattered you beyond repair.

"they're a disgrace, jisung. do you want to love a disgrace?" the words replayed in your head as you sat rushed out of the home, jisung following quickly.

You both knew of each others feelings for one another, you both knew of the circumstances you both stood in but that wouldn't stop him, neither should it stop you, could it?

" y/n wait , i know what she said back there is bad but-" he attempted to find an excuse for his mothers words yet his mouth ran dry at the thought of any.

you sigh, discouraged and tired as rain poured onto you in heavy bunches, an uncomfortable feeling at best. "jisung-"

"oh how i hate when you call me that." he yells over the loud patters, not bothering for safety as he runs faster, grabbing onto you.

"ji, i'm sorry but i think we should just stop trying... i mean, no one wants us together and no matter what we try it never works." you turn to look at him, the rain covering up whats meant to be tears

"we just have to try harder, love. and if not, i don't think their opinions matter at all." he says, worry in his eyes as he calculates the possible outcome of this

"no ji, you don't understand. you're not the one being berated everywhere because of your social classing" you pull your arm from his grasp, looking at him with a cold stare.

he had never seen you in such a light towards him, perhaps he deserved it but who would he be if not a fighter for something he truly held valuable.

"okay, you're right i'm sorry-" he said huffing out a breath.

"no you're not sorry, you're selfish." you stare at him, expression blank as tears continued to fall with each passing blink.

his expression changed from one of worry to one of desperation.

"I'm... selfish?" he asked, his eyes saddening as he frowned.

"yes! you force me into this stupid relationship when all i get is reprimanded so yes, you're selfish."

you truly didn't mean it. jisung was persistant, he'd fight for something no matter what but you were tired, endlessly being dehumanized at the hands of anyone with any superiority.

"I thought you wanted- I thought you liked me..." he breathed heavily, his mind racing with many thoughts as he tried to mask the hurt. It was scary, how well he'd done it though, his eyes now showing a cold glare.

"Fine. I don't even know why I bothered, got my clothes all soaked for nothing." He said, his stare intense on you before he walked back into his home almost robotically.

your heart hurt as you watched him walk back into his home but you knew maybe it was all for the better.

The campus cafeteria buzzed with loud chatter as everyone prepared for lunch. Jisung sat at a table across the cafeteria from you but yet his eyes never seemed to stop looking at you. You were reading a book, paying little to no attention to your food.

Felix stared at Jisung with concern before following his gaze. "you alright? why don't you just go over there and sit with them?" He said, waking Jisung from his trance. "We're.. not together anymore," he said quietly before felix looked at him with a look of sympathy.

"Oh... I'm sorry," he replied as the table for the two had gotten quiet, of course before seungmin ruined the silence.

"Why are you watching them like a hawk then?" Seungmin asked, sliding his tray of food next to Felix's, giving a blank stare despite his ruthless remark, earning a glare from felix.

"Don't they look a little bad? I mean- not bad just... like they've been through a breakup and are upset?" Jisung was down bad, feeding off delusions in his head to prove to him that what you said wasn't true.

"No, they look the-" Seungmin starts, only to be stopped by Felix.

"I'm sure they're just as hurt as you are hyung" Felix suggests causing Jisung to nod.

Truth be told, you were. You'd taken a lot of effort to even get out of bed today and get ready, not to mention the self torment and strain you had to endure even trying not to look his way, it was torture.

Hyunjin appears at the boys table, his eyes squinted as he looked at the faces around him. "What's going on?"

"He's going through a breakup." Seungmin says, pointing at Jisung before going back to chewing on his food.

"A breakup? I think I have a good idea for you to get over it" Hyunjin suggest, cleaning closer to Jisung who only pushes him away.

"I don't wanna get over it. I want them" He pouts, covering his face in mental torment.

" this isn't right for your mental, maybe you should try to move on..." Felix says, bringing a hand to pat the man on his head.

"Right. That's why I suggest you go out with Yunhee" Hyunjin says with a smile on his face as Jisung glares at him.

"What?"

"Cmon, she's has a crush on you. She has had for a long time. Its way better than unrequited love."

"Hyun, that would be unrequited love" Felix says to which Hyunjin shakes off.

"He can fall in love with her, you can't fall inlove again, everyone knows that." Hyunjin says as Jisung sighs deeply.

"If i do it, will you shut up?" he asked, his eyes bored as Hyunjin nods with a smile.

You felt maybe you were doing right and that as time moved on you'd only get better. Yet, the thing is that the heart wants what it wants and the feeling of being happy will only be there for but so long before you're longing that true happiness once more.

That's exactly how you felt as you watched Jisung walk down the hall with Yunhee, the same girl who's always had a 'crush' on Jisung.

Yunhee was a bit of a childish person, spoiled, bratty, but luckily for her, rich.

she was also your mortal enemy who took it upon herself, even now at her big age to want whatever you wanted, even the things she knew you couldn't have, for example, Jisung.

You knew she didn't like him, she and her friends would joke about it everyday, stealing him from you just to see you with nothing.

She was using him, using your jisung.

"Hey ynnie!" You heard a bright cheery voice behind you belonging to no other than Felix.

You turned around to look at him, a playful grin on your face. "Aren't you Jisung's friend now? I saw you sitting with him yesterday."

He tilted his head, pouting. "Can't a guy have friends? I feel like a child of divorce."

You roll your eyes. "Why is jisung with Yunhee?" You ask, nudging your head towards the two.

Felix gives you a knowing look, a small smirk on his face. "Why? Jealous?"

You glance at him, scowling. "I just think it's ironic someone who says he's so hurt about a relationship is back with someone else in less than 72 hours" you cross your arms.

Felix nods, "Don't worry, he's just doing it for Hyunjin, they'll either be linked by the arm or complete strangers by time the college christmas party is over depending on how well they're communicating"

linked by the arm.

meaning dating?

obviously y/n.

uh oh.

truly you hadn't seen this one coming, you obviously weren't expecting for him to find someone else so quickly whilst you were still mourning. for that same person to be the one who never even cared about him.

you left hurt him just for him to be hurt again. there's no way you'd let yunhee go through with whatever trick she was going planning.

so you tried, speaking to him for the first time in what felt like forever

Jisung sat in the chair of the music room by himself as he looked over the notes for a song he'd been learning on guitar.

You'd been there everytime he let you listen to the rough drafts of his finishing project; it felt a little bittersweet hearing the finished version.

He played the notes softly, his eyes intently staring at the paper before he pushed his glasses up on his nose, letting out a sigh.

"Whoever's standing there you don't have to be a stalker, make yourself known" he said bluntly, causing you a little panic.

"Sorry..." You muttered but he recognised your voice instantly, his eyes widening as he quickly glanced back, putting his facade back on once more.

"What do you want?" His tone was cold, much like yours on the night you broke his heart.

"Can we talk?" You ask quietly, pushing the door to the music room closed a bit.

He let out another sigh, this time deeper and sounded annoyed. "What?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Yunhee" You started and the delusions in his mind almost made him think you were jealous, causing his heart to beat a little faster at the possibility.

"What? Are you upset i'm with someone else?" His tone and his heart are speaking two different languages because his tone is cold and upset but his heart is longing for you to want him, to accept him as much as he does you, if only he knew.

"What? No no, I just- Yunhee is only gonna hurt you, i don't think you should go out with her." You admit honestly, a look of concern in your eyes as you try to mask the feeling of hurt.

He scoffs, letting out a harsh laugh before standing. "You can't be hypocritical, y/n. It isn't a good look on you." he brushed past you before you could even get a chance at speaking.

Another thing about Jisung was that he was stubborn, very stubborn. And yet so were you.

A few days later, Jisung sat at the table with Felix, chewing on some carrot sticks they served which honestly were the first time they ever tasted fresh like they did today.

You rushed over, placing your hands on the table as a halt, getting the attention from both boys before Jisung looked back down at his food quickly.

"Ji..." You spoke, trying to get his attention.

"Jisung please..." You begged, walking over to the opposite side of the table to sit with him, gesturing to felix that now wasn't the best time to sit there to which he took the hint.

"Ji-"

"What do you want this time." He said, his eyes never landing on you, his attention only focused on the orange vegetable.

"Listen i'm sorry about what I said, i never meant to hurt you.."

"That's not gonna make me any less hurt, y/n. If this is an attempt at getting Yunhee gone, it's not working." He said bluntly.

"What? Jisung no-" He scowled at the name again.

"You know, you don't want me, neither do you want anyone else to. do you just hate me, y/n?" He asked, now staring at you with a death glare. If looks could kill, you'd be ready to be shipped off in a coffin.

You sit in shock and silence at his words, causing him to scoff in disbelief, standing up as he collects his stuff.

You manage to grab his hand when he walks by but he pulls it out of your grasp before you can even get a word out.

Two weeks has passesd since you last interacted with Jisung and everytime he sees you, he avoids you like the plague. You've come to the conclusion that he is complately done with you, that you're both done. It hurt like hell, you could barely even force yourself out of bed for the first week, let alone focus on anything besides the fact that you lost the greatest thing life can give you.

It was now lunchtime and you sat at your usual spot, now more caught up in a book than ever, anything to distract yourself from looking over across the cafeteria where they could see you. Luckily for Jisung, as you would've caught him staring at you from afar.

"Goodness, they look like they haven't been eating. You guys think its my fault? Fuck, i'm so stupid." Jisung scolds himself, covering his face as he tries to hide the tears threatening to slip.

"Han, I don't think you should be worrying about your ex when you have a nice date tonight with your new date." Hyunjin says although his still pats his back for comfort.

Han breathes in for a second, nodding slowly as he wipes the tears from his face, Felix's eyes filling with concern before his eyes glow with oppurtunity.

"Alright fine, this'll be the last date before i go off to weep in misery" He says before sighing deeply.

Felix turns up to your home with a big smile on his face, as he explains his idea of you finally speaking to Jisung, and tells you that Jisung also is going through a rough time and is only mad at you because he thinks you don't love him.

So thats how you end up at the party, standing awkwardly. You'd had over 6 drinks of some random non alcoholic drink to keep yourself from looking too awkward but now you've got to pee.

you walk to the bathroom which is very close but stop when you hear a conversation and familiar voices.

"jisung? nah i only need him to get back at y/n, remember?"

"ah, you think he actually is starting to like you yet?"

"that'd be a bummer, but it may benefit his parent's are rich. probably the only reason that bitch wants him."

"right, that's genius"

their conversation made your blood boil. she not only was using him to get back at you but she also was using him to get free money?

even if you couldn't win him back, you'd get your revenge before she thought of doing whatever she wanted to.

she walked out of ther bathroom, watching you stand there with a glare on her face. "Privacy much? no one asked you to be a stalker."

you stared at her , rage filling your eyes before you looked into your 7th cup, filled with juice inside, throwing it right into her face.

convienetly enough, Jisung was right outside the door to the bathrooms so he heard the loud shriek she gave and came inside, only to find you standing there holding a red solo cup outside down, leaking small drops of red juice onto the tile floors, causing Jisung to cringe before he walked over to you, looking at you in disbelief.

He grabbed your arm, softly, pulling you out of the bathroom and into a room more quiet, ignoring the screams from Yunhee.

He paced the room as you sat on a desk in the from, looking at him.

"What the hell was that?" He finally asked, looking at you.

"Ji- she said something bad about you! why are you upset with me?"

He glared at you, this time in an unrecognizable way. it was neither angry, nor cold, just frustrated?

"You... You confuse me Y/n. " This gets you to look up at him, your mouth dry, unable to answer.

"You tell me you love me, and want to fight, for me then you go and tell me i'm selfish when you cloud up every fucking thought I have, not even the valuables you say I want so bad can even match your value, how much I want you." Your eyes widen, unable to speak; he doesn't want you to anyways, he's not finished.

"Then you act all sweet and hurt, making me hurt for you yret, you can't even say no when I ask if you hate me and now... you're.. you're fighting someone for saying they want to hurt me, making me all fucked up."

The room is in complete in silence as you two stare at each other, desperation and shock in both of your eyes.

"say something please... do you love me? If you don't... I'll try, I'll get over it"

"ji... I do... I really really do but-"

"oh you know I hate it when you say "but" ..." he groans a little, moving closer as his eyes fill with desperation.

" I don't wanna go through that again... and I know it's unfair and downright selfish for me not to want you to move on but I just... I want you..."

he stares at you with hearts in his eyes as he softly grabs your arms.

"I'll do something about it... I promise it'll stop just next time tell me about this stuff, I can't lose you again, especially not like this." he says, staring into your eyes.

the room falls silent once more before you pull him into a passionate kiss, one filled with desperation, longing, and the taste of peppermint candy canes on his tongue.

"I love you, y/n so so so much."

"I love you so so so much as well, hanji"