4/27/2026
Coffee and matcha kinda day

tannertan36
almost home
ojovivo
KIROKAZE
cherry valley forever
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i don't do bad sauce passes
Monterey Bay Aquarium
d e v o n

JBB: An Artblog!
Xuebing Du
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

JVL
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

⁂

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin

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@emgoesmed
4/27/2026
Coffee and matcha kinda day

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4/23/2026
Day off enjoying springtime in the city 🌸
3/9/2025
Last month was 3 weeks of elective rotations + 1 week vacation which was lovely but somehow I don't feel rested at all. Now I'm back in the PICU with a tough schedule.
I really, really, really need the next 4 weeks to speed by as fast as possible so I can get regular sleep and meals again. Hopefully it will actually start to feel like Spring by then too.
MSII here, I went home today to my apartment and ate some ramen feeling like I have everything I ever wanted but I feel so empty. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to pass this block let alone Step 1. I’m not the person I thought I would be in med school, I’m barely scarping by, I’m six figures in debt and I’ve never been so stressed in my life. I keep thinking it gets better —and life does get better— but I don’t. When will I start feeling like I’m doing the right thing? Third year? Fourth? Residency?
Medical students are high achievers, and sometimes med school is the first time they find themselves average (or below average) academically. It can feel very overwhelming. Personally, I struggled during preclinical years and ended up taking Step 1 a month late, delaying my clinical rotations, because I was so worried about passing. There have been plenty of highs and lows since then. I get where you're coming from.
I do think it's important to ask yourself, what does "doing the right thing" mean to you? Why did you choose to go to medical school? Has that motivation changed? It sounds like your current experience is not matching up with what you envisioned - but were there any moments where things seemed to "click", even if only temporarily? Do you have any moments so far that have reaffirmed your choices? Was your initial conception realistic in the first place?
Everyone's experience is different, but I'd recommend talking to someone you trust about how you're doing. Having a support system, of whatever size, is so important. Also, sleep, good food, and letting yourself rest.
Best wishes and my inbox is always open!

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wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating
#they really said “you can’t use wiki as an academic source-use our garbage AI that’s even less reliable”#and you can’t even opt out of it
no but you can FORCE it away. use ublock origin and copy paste the blacklist i made into the filters to be able to remove the bullshit AI overview that google forces. it also removes youtube's forced ads (at least until they fix it)
you can also use the ublacklist extension and use this blacklist of AI image generation websites to curate your google image results
there are ALWAYS ways around stuff. it's just a matter of looking into it and asking around
I'M FREE
FOR WIKIPEDIA!!!!
2/9/2025
Done with my Emergency Medicine rotation for the year and it feels good to have a sleep schedule again... going on vacation at the end of this week too!
important and encouraging
Found a great (free) documentary on the Freedom House Ambulance Service here- https://www.wqed.org/freedomhouse/ (has captions too)!
I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve heard about this. like for years I’ve been thinking “imagine if the police were in charge of ambulances and firefighting, all the horrible problems that would cause, wouldn’t it be better if they were a separate thing, etc” as a way to better understand/explain the fundamental problems with the existence of police. that framing was part of what made me start to understand why my friends were saying “ACAB” and “abolish the police”. I had no idea it was literally once historically like that and not just a hypothetical tbh
Interview with one of the original members of Freedom House Ambulance
i know i signed up for a job as an essential worker etc etc but i am so annoyed about having to go into work in the middle of a 24 hour snowstorm in the dark for an overnight shift in the emergency department. especially when i get no extra pay (since i'm a resident) and the roads near the hospital are barely plowed, including the one leading to the parking area...

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12/29/2025
Cozy winter nights <3
11/17/2025
I can't believe it's almost the end of 2025...
Starting my first PICU block this week and nervous about it. I feel like my medical school and residency experience is just vacillating between imposter syndrome and confidence at all times.
11/10/2025
Long walks among crunchy orange leaves, pumpkin desserts, rich coffee and hot apple cider, and of course my cuddly cat.
probably tomorrow i'm gonna somehow be more organized and disciplined than i ever have been in my whole life so i'm fine probably

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11/3/2025
Peaceful gray mornings.
10/24/2025
spent the first half of this week as a zombie trying to flip my circadian rhythm back from 2 weeks of night float and recover from a month of inpatient floors... finally feeling better.
i have an upcoming golden weekend and i am so excited to clean my apartment from floor to ceiling, dig into some review articles and practice questions, and relax with hot apple cider and all the spooky books i downloaded to my new kindle.