skill level ambition mismatch

Anders: ive trademarked the term “The guy who fucks up” so if you see someone else using it pleaase stick my Fair Use brochures to their car

Aveline: The SHeriff’s Department Denies Your Request To Be Sat On By Muscle Ladies As Punishment And Would Like For You To Pay Your Ticket With Cash

Bethany: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no

Blackwall: i am skeptical of the concept “Too Big To Fail” mainly because i am extremely big and i fail constantly

Carver: i may be a dim-witted narcissist but at least i hafve really good opinions about life and other things

Cassandra: if a sniper shot me i owuld run over to where he is and kick the gun out of his hand and kill him because hes not specialized in melee fight

Cole: im 14 year s old and im already more psychic than my dad

Cullen: sometimes i love to be able to want to be the man who is able to want to need to have his wants and needs able to be fulfilled sometimes

Dorian: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.

ME; I agree

Fenris: if you have a problem with my mouth, i’ll be swniging a sledgehammer in circles outdoors for the rest of my life, so come try do crap to me.

Hawke: if you have a problem with me kissing pictures of Dragons while driving the bus, fight me. i just ate like 30 hotdogs and im near invincible

Iron Bull: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

The Inquisitor: i can only hope that when a kangaroo court of dipshits comes to haul me to prison that i have the grace and humility not to get mad at them

Isabela: every woman ivr ever spoken to would describe our correspondence as “Graceful”

Josephine: nobody told me that" doing donuts" was some car technique. up until now i thought that it was just another way to say you’re eating donuts

Leliana: i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad”,“its ineffective” fuck off

Loghain: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants

Merrill: allow me to reiterate.. im on the side that is the least mad. whichever one that is right now. nobody knows whos more mad at this point.

Morrigan: forced to remove my famous “DANGER: MAY CONTAIN LETHAL LEVELS OF SARCASM !!” sign from the front door of the poolside shed that i live in

Oghren: whats in my cup today? why its that old stand-by known as “beer” folks . thank you for reading it

Sera: the dress Color? (grins Intelligently at the hell about to be unleashed upon naive content consumers) its brown, because i wipe my ass of it

Sebastian: im actualy, probably, the most superbly relatable and normal person in this jail cell as of right NOw

Shale: [(launches sack;s of burning medical waste into the side of someone’s house for having a bird feeder on their porch))] Fucking Bird Helper

Solas: male model: washing my luxurious long hair is so boring. i wish my entire body was bald like you. me: Now the healing can begin

Sten: i call evbery four-legged animal I see a dog and I am correct more often than not so I will never stop

Varric: my garbage family is staging an intervention or something for me because i forgot what its called when people have a chin made out of hair

Vivienne: THIngs other people like: being bastards, being Uniformly tasteless

THINGS I Like; Being reasonably kind, and trying to help, when i can

The Warden: i will tell you this right now: I’m from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally

Wynne: (bowed head solemnly rises from deep thought) Intellidgence is the strength of wisdom