Being A Lizard

+ bonus : (the footman john fall in love too)

I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment we raced each other in that park. I’ve loved you at every dance, on every walk, every time we’ve been together, and every time we’ve been apart… You must know it, in your heart. You must feel it because I do. I love you.

Not Anthony’s and Kate’s dead parents using the jewelry they bequeathed to their children to hijack a wedding because they probably couldn’t bear to watch their idiot offspring ruin their lives because of their stubbornness and fears any longer, as there is also only so many times you can spin in your grave. The ring and the bangle decide to play matchmakers and are like ‘Oh hell no! This shitshow wedding is happening only over my rusted metal body. Let’s show our idiot children the way.’  

The ring gets stuck on Kate’s finger, making clear it ain’t going anywhere because it’s found its rightful mistress, protesting Anthony’s choice of a bride (boy, you got the wrong sister!), and the bangle really said ‘I object’, basically delivering the closest thing to a marriage objection an inanimate object is capable of and singlehandedlybangledly ruining the supposed marriage of the year at the royal palace right in front of the Archbishop of Canterbury and Queen Charlotte’s salad. 

Well, the groom kneeling in front of a bridesmaid while forgetting his actual bride who is standing right next to him (and the 100+ wedding guests who are watching his every move), placing an oversized version of a ring on her hand and eyefucking her in front of everyone, including his own mother, underaged siblings and the Queen of England, tends to do that.

And both times even Edwina notices so the ring and bangle might not have made their children fully realize, but they came through to Edwina.

The precious-est birthday dumpling in all the world!!!

I’m just THINKING about how the LAST INTERACTION HE HAS WITH A CIVILIAN is her holding onto him, terrified to let go, because he didn’t just beat up the people who hurt her, he carried her out of that building and to safety. She isn’t afraid he’s going to hurt her.

Batman:

Batman: