satan said dance

He .. he said I was trailer trash.

Who.

He literally compared his dick to a white supremacist. He literally said that his dick was David Duke. He has a David Duke dick. Former Grand Wizard of the KKK, y’know? I’ve got more reasons and more examples of racism, but do I really need them?

I'm pretty sure that's the only reason you'll ever need to hate him. It's a great reason, too, so y'know points for that.

I hate this place.

Do I need to kill someone?

Maybe he should stop talking. Forever. So I can stop hearing about the shitty and or dumb things he’s said.

You have a lot of rage against John Meyer don't you?

He tweeted it and a friend sent it to me. What an idiot, man, wow.

Maybe he just really wanted to brag that his girlfriend is Katy Perry.

"Me and my girlfriend have over fifty million followers on twitter together." says John Mayer, even though Katy has over fifty million on her own.

Do you just randomly find shit like this or do you actually look for it?

Do you mind repeating that? I don’t think I heard you correctly. Well, I mean Mr. Noodles needed a bro. And they’re gonna be another bro. You’ll have an army of teddy bears by the time we’re eighty. It’s gonna happen.

Fuck you, I'm not repeating that. You heard it perfectly fine the first time. The sad part is I'm honestly not even having a hard time believing that. Just as long as it doesn't get to the point where it's the giant teddy bears though.

It would’ve ruined the surprise if you were. Plus, I don’t think I could’ve kissed that stuffed heart if you were there. Just know that Fluffy was made with love; that kiss sealed the deal.

You're definitely the cutest boyfriend ever, you know that? 'Cause I don't think I'll be able to handle it if this whole teddy bear business becomes a thing with you.

Yeah, I went to build a bear alone. I’m fuckin’ insane, honestly. Its name is Fluffy, at least that’s what it says on its birth certificate. You can thank the little girl with the ballerina bear for that one.

I wish I would've been there to see that, honestly. Just the thought of you doing that is ridiculously adorable y'know.

Yeah, but there should’ve been a text or something, y’know? But I, uh…I got you something. 

You-- Oh my god. You're ridiculous, you know that?

Hey, sorry ‘bout disappearing after school today, cupcake. 

It's not like you missed anything, so y'know. 's okay.

Maybe. I hope so. I’d like to take Heath out.

I don't know why but I automatically thought Heath was your cat.

We had to drive a little and brave the roads but it was worth it. Oh, so much fun. I didn’t want to leave.

I've been banned from driving until all of the snow melts, so you two have fun with that. Are you going to be back outside tomorrow?

We built a few, yeah. Park’s brother found us a great place to sled, too.

I didn't even know Roseboro had any hills big enough for sledding. Did you have fun?

I’ve been outside most of the day. It was so much fun.

Did you build a snowman? 'Cause I'm pretty sure there is a legitimate army of them over by the elementary school.

I think I’m finally thawing out.

C'mon, it's not that cold out.