Little-Alien

My friend is making me feel really stupid for my delayed processing issues.

I don’t know if it’s actually condescending or I’m just overreacting.

Anytime we are in a crowded place with way too much stimuli and she tells me something, it’s so difficult for me to process it, which right now resulted in her scolding me and telling me:”listen to me!” followed by a long disappointed sigh.

Lately, I started actively playing sports again, running, working out but I still feel horrible about my body and hate eating in front of people.

Today, after not eating yesterday since lunch, I got a chocolate croissant which is already a huge step for me, only for my friend to say:”that much, huh?”

Not to mention she is one head shorter than me.

Currently abroad and contemplating my decision to go to the summer hockey camp with my new team. Believe me, I want to go more than anything but I’m also not gonna be in Mahoney country till the 19th, 2 more flights and many transportation issues await me and so I’m able to pay for the camp, I gotta set a daily limit of 24€/28$ including transport and food (one ticket to the airport costs 22-24€)

I’m really lost and don’t know what to do

I’m also leaving for Erasmus in the spring and gotta save up 1649€ to be able to pay the rent in my home country in the meantime, while I had to leave my job recently for an injury and can’t find a job as a student who wont be able to work there long-term since I’ll be leaving in half a year.

I already told my couch to count with me and now I’m feeling really stressed out, guilty, and awful since all the money I have right now are shamefully borrowed from my mom and I also need to pay her back.