Elhixsagh

Marks and Rec: Misc #2622

I’m gonna do a bit more with them later on, but since tumblr is better at showing gifs than twitter here’s a WIP of sorts

I’m thinking of starting a whole collection of everyone’s favorite goose causing mayhem at Garreg Mach.

specifically about the timeline

so, our Pearl clearly recognises Spinel, that’s very much established

so, it’s safe to say, that Pink Diamond must have lost Pink Pearl prior to leaving Spinel in the garden for our Pearl to have known who she was

we know from Change Your Mind that White Diamond took Pink Pearl away because Pink continued ‘misbehaving’ despite being told not to (and being high key abused)

so when it came to Spinel, Pink had already lost one Gem she loved as a direct result of her ‘childishness’, something Spinel fundamentally represented

i think Pink not only wanted to stop associating herself with Spinel to prove to the Diamonds that she could be responsible, but also to protect Spinel from them; take the flashback scene

here, Spinel acts as bouncy and immature as she’d designed to do, and Pink visibly enjoys it, only becoming more and more worried as time goes on, which im going to assume is over a long enough period of time for her to have had Pink Pearl replaced

when the Diamonds tell her she’s finally getting a colony, she looks at Spinel’s antics with anger, but that anger lasts only a moment before being replaced by an expression i’d say is more grateful than pitiful

Pink is very aware of what the Diamonds do to Gems that don’t act appropriately, and she’s worried Spinel will be punished like Pink Pearl was, so she leaves her somewhere she knows is safe, thinking short term

if Spinel was out of the way, not in the firing line, then she couldn’t be taken away and wiped clean like her Pearl— she could exist outside of Diamond influence

as mentioned by @artemispanthar, Pink Diamond never really understood how loved she was, even after she’d started a war and thousands of her people, such as Jasper, mourned her and fought for her

she never thought Spinel, bouncy, hyperactive, endlessly loyal little Spinel, would stay in the Garden forever waiting, but she did think Spinel would be happy existing there alone and safe, which was her mistake

until Greg, Rose didn’t truly understand what love was

Pearl loved her, but it was tainted by their history of servitude and adoration 

the Diamonds loved her, in some type of way, but neither party really knew how to form a healthy dynamic with one another as they couldn’t communicate properly

and Spinel loved her, but Pink assumed it was childish nonsense 

while im not excusing Pink Diamond’s actions, a lot of her choices came from what she thought would best protect those she cared about as well as fuel an arguably selfish desire to live freely and do as she wanted– starting a new life on Earth away from a toxic regime, having a human heir, even generating her shield could be a visual metaphor for this need for protection 

she acted from the position of someone who’d experienced abuse, and who knew that her choices would negatively impact others while she existed within that cycle of abuse and her solution, to start an intergalactic war and literally kill her past self, wasn’t the greatest or the smartest, but she was acting desperately to free herself from the threat of pain

one thing that often bothers me about other media is that it’s thoroughly morally individualistic. instead of being skeptical of authority, it’s only skeptical of the Bad People having authority. nothing wrong with the system itself, only the individuals within it. we didn’t need to dismantle the fire nation, we just needed a Good fire lord. we don’t need to challenge the audience’s perception of the status quo, we just need to make sure the “right people” are on top of it.

this is a huge reason i love steven universe. it is consistent that NO ONE should be a diamond. not a single person. steven isn’t here to be the good prince - neither him nor rose were above causing harm through that role. 

none are above becoming worse through power over others. 

instead, steven universe is here - the show and the person - to find how we can dismantle those mental and material hierarchies. it looks as people as they’ve been shaped through millennia of socialization. it change people’s circumstances rather than thinking they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps and just magically know what’s right. 

in short - it knows you weren’t born good.

but that’s why it also knows you can become better.

whether it’s through realizing the power you held over others was never justified, no matter how little you understood your own privilege…

or whether it’s through realizing how others hurt you, in turn, molded you in such a way where you felt justified in taking it out on others…

or whether it was through realizing that you were expressing toxicity that you had never fully unlearned, no matter how much you tried to disavow it.

every gem is shaped by their circumstances. as is every person. 

until steven could look at this as a network of circumstances, rather than individuals making choices based on some “individual morality” seemingly handed down by the stars, he couldn’t truly forgive his mother. or himself. 

but just… putting things in perspective, understanding how circumstances and power shape decisions and relations in ways that are too big for any one person to control - for anyone to try to control - helps you appreciate the immense power of simply accepting yourself. 

even if you weren’t made perfect, you can become a good person. you can bond with others to collectively reshape those societal ills. you can find it in yourself to forgive, because even if others didn’t understand what they did wrong, well, neither did you, once. and it’s okay - we’re all shaped to take the blame ourselves, even for things far outside our control.

if it’s one thing white diamond and steven have in common, it’s the flaw of thinking their responsibilities and faults are individual. that they must perform a role, because everything in the entire world seems to point towards that being their destiny. knowing better, being better, even if you don’t say it out loud.

that’s why steven could understand white like no one else could. instead of realizing the way the world around them had hurt them, they were both socialized to take individual responsibility. if something goes wrong, they’re “to blame”. they have to make the decision for everyone. they have to make the right decision, or it’s no one’s fault but their own.

they bought into individualism, again and again and again… until steven was faced with the truth - he’s just himself. being forced to take responsibility for his mom and the crystal gems was socialization he needed to unlearn to accept that. he cannot fill the shoes of his mother, she was always barefoot.