elfik

Their bodies belonged to each other because they were the same body. They had been just one person, long ago, but had been cut from one another before they were born.

i wanted to draw something like this for so long and i finally did... not perfect, but that's ok i guess. i miss them everyday

preface & disclaimer:

i am deep in my iwtv and n2n feels right now, and i just can't stop thinking about them. i have a lot of thoughts about louis/diana parallels as well and i will mention it here, but claudia and gabe. they are soo similar in my head. also english is not my first language so if i made any mistakes pls ignore 🙏

i am what might be, i am mystery

claudia talks about "what might be" and "why do i exist" a lot in the show, and she could be voicing louis' thoughts as well as expressing her own. diana made up a whole life for gabe, including even his classes in school. i imagine louis could do the same with claudia if she wasn't turned into a vampire. but even present in louis' life, she's a reminder of his failed relationship with lestat. just like gabe is a reminder of diana's grief and failed relationship with dan. "what if" follows them everywhere they go.

louis and diana both have a problem with recognizing what's real. for louis it's his memories and for diana it's her delusions (louis has them also but that's not important here). gabe is diana's undead dream, a distorted reflection in a mirror. just like claudia in louis' memories... unreachable. i always think of that scene when louis remembered claudia's making differently and cry a little.

i don't even want to mention louis walking into the sun after saying "can you hear her? she's calling me" so many years after claudia's death, and diana attempting after gabe's there's a world. but yeah. it happened.

i'm old as time and forever young, i am every song that will stay unsung

this is just so claudia to me. "old as time and forever young"? her being a fierce vampire trapped in a body of a little girl. and "every song that will stay unsung" is another "what if", another untold story, a human life they never got to live.

and when i think about gabe being a manifestation of grief and claudia being a character originally written to cope with grief this just makes so much sense for me to see similarities in them.

i'm alive is the most claudia song i've ever heard btw.

i am the one who held you, i am the one who cried, i am the one who watched while you died

i just can't help but think about claudia and lestat because of this song. lestat watching claudia dying in the sun at the stage. lestat allowing himself to grieve claudia after SO many years, just like dan allowed himself to grieve gabe in that song. i am literally going insane.

also claudia being more close to louis and gabe being more close to diana. claudia wanting lestat's attention and gabe wanting dan's attention. lestat calling claudia "infant death".

claudia and gabe trying to be seen so hard. both of them turning into a destructive force, because that's the only way to be alive for them. and though you made me, you can't change me. claudia being made into a vampire and a band-aid for a shitty marriage. gabe being made into a manifestation of grief diana and dan can't cope with. claudia and gabe holding their parents together and keeping them apart at the same time.

they say forget, but i'll remind you

inspired by

and now we don't have gansey's paranoid inner monologue when adam doesn't show up to school, knowing what it normally means when he doesn't show up for school. we don't have gansey's inner monologue feeling guilty for forcing adam to sneak out last night

like before gansey says "let your dad pound the shit out of you" the reader has not been clued in at all about Robert Parrish. i know it's hard since all the abuse hints were dropped in prose before this in the normal novel but i think there could have been ways to visually explore that. have Adam wear his sleeves buttoned at the wrist when the other boys always have their sleeves rolled up. have Adam look like he was intentionally hiding from Declan and Ronan's fight like he didn't want to look at it. have a close-up panel of Robert Parrish's silhouette in the trailer as Gansey pulls up to pick him up that morning, plus Gansey's look of skepticism when Adam doesn't come out

SPOILERS FOR THE 4-6 EPS OF ARCANE 

...I'M SO UPSET. BRING ME BACK MY MAN. BRING BACK VIKTOR PLEASE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA or... a fanfic fueled by that^ Chroma!! I hope I did good cuz... I am being torn apart rn. LIFE IS PAIN. CW: established past relationship, implied break-up, uh oh... hopefully not too ooc.... wc: 760 .  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚ .  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚.  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚.  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚.  * 　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .⁺ 　　 ˚

“Herald.” The title was heard in the quiet presence of the orb emanating a soft light towards the messenger, an inviting albeit intimidating presence. 

Viktor opened his eyes slowly, not recognising the voice immediately. “Another person was just lead here and needs your help.” He nodded, giving a sign to invite them in. 

There stood you, holding up an old woman, providing as much support as you could in this situation. You weren’t in great condition either but your aunt was more important to you. You had tears running down your cheeks, begging, praying for him to not leave her on the threshold. 

“I can’t pay you much but I’ll- I… I will work for you and worship the ground you walk on just- just make her better.” His feet touched the floor as he stopped levitating. Murmuring he professed. “Bring her something to sit on.” 

You were whistling mindlessly stirring the pot with vigour. Suddenly your vision went black.You smelled the familiar scent of the lab gloves he wore so often and exclaimed. ‘Viktor!!’ You turned around and looked into his eyes with the warmth inversely proportional to his hands. His lips somehow always found yours.

Viktor put his hand to your aunt’s forehead and worked on her for quite a while. Meanwhile the person who lead you to him showed you to the home you’d be staying at while ‘The Herald’ healed her. “How long will this take?” You wiped your tears with your sleeve. He thought about it for a moment. “Not too long… feel free to say as long as you need to. Our hospitality knows no bounds.” You nodded, tears still occasionally welling up in your eyes. 

“Viktor, you need to get back to bed.” You said sternly. “Yes, yes I will in a moment I just- I need to note this down and I’ll be right back.” You sighed, giving up. Another night of solitude was in front of you and you couldn’t even muster the courage to- he kissed your cheek, reassurance he said. A promise.

You heard your name being called. Joy overcame you when you saw your aunt walking spryly into the small hut. “Dearie, stop crying. I’m alright now.” She made you bend down to her level and gave you the warmest hug you’ve felt in years. Her face pulsating with opalescent webs. 

You looked at Vikt- the Herald. Your eyes meeting his multicoloured ones. They were so inviting- so welcoming you just wanted to stare at them for hours at a time like you used to do. 

“I don’t want to do this anymore.” His lips left your forehead, he was sure you were asleep. “What?” He said with a worried chuckle. 

“Can you read minds?” You asked him when you two were finally alone. He mused for a moment. “I can do more than that.” You laughed bitterly. You turned around to get back to your temporary abode as he suddenly reached out his hand to you. 

You began to tremble. Oh, how you missed him, the real him. The Viktor you fell in love all those years ago. “Stay- stay here, with-” me. “You?” You said with reproach. “I leave all those years ago and you still come back to me like a-” You stopped yourself as he cringed at your words. 

Silence fell.

“You don’t whistle anymore.” He noted. “It doesn’t feel safe…” 

“You were whistling that night, when Sky- I could hear you through the vents.” You were laying on his chest and listening to his heart speeding up with each word he was professing. “Do you think I’m to blame?” You asked after a moment. His heart sped up more.

You turned back and held his face in your palms. You got closer. “I’ve missed you.” 

He didn’t raise his voice, he never did. He looked defeated. When you were walking out the door he held his hand out. You stopped just for a second and before you could get away he grabbed both your shoulders and planted a gentle kiss on your lips- a… goodbye. 

You heard an explosion. “Shit.” You ran out of the hut, hearing behind you your aunt calling your name. You knew what happened. You could feel a part of your heart being torn out. 

There stood Jayce. His hammer in his hand as Viktor lay there, lifeless. A scream of anguish left your body, escaping right with your soul. You ran up to Viktor cupping his cheeks. “N-no.” Jayce stood, unmoving. 

“I… I just got you back.”