bats & birdies as twitter posts pt.4
i’m heading back for spring semester soon but before i go pls enjoy a part 4 :) hope everyone is doing well!
pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3

@theartofmadeline
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Cosimo Galluzzi

blake kathryn
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Claire Keane

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club

ellievsbear

noise dept.

oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Discoholic 🪩
macklin celebrini has autism
Xuebing Du
Doug Jones

Origami Around

titsay
$LAYYYTER
Sade Olutola
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@elenor-sparrow
bats & birdies as twitter posts pt.4
i’m heading back for spring semester soon but before i go pls enjoy a part 4 :) hope everyone is doing well!
pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3

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Old doodle but Bruce never once missing a chance to show off his kids like a proud dad he is
Please do not repost without permission!
battle for the cowl would be so much funnier if none of them wanted to be batman and they were throwing the cowl around like it was the cheese touch
Dick Grayson, age 9: I hate you Bruce! You’re not my dad! I’m going to kill zucco with my bare hands!
Jason Todd, age (idk, 13?): golly gee mr Wayne this sure is a nice place you got
Jason Todd (age 19, recently resurrected): I was never the son you wanted! You wanted a replacement for dick!
Bruce Wayne (age too fucking old for this shit): *rolls up sleeve to point to several bite mark shaped scars* you wanna know how I got these scars?
bruce: all i ever wanted was a non-feral child. just one that didn't want to gruesomely murder people. took an interest in college and other noble pursuits that have nothing to do with illegal vigilantism. crochet maybe. i remember i had one, once. a wonderful, smart, bright eyed child
jason: oh YEAH. well i'm SORRY that i can't be as perfect as DICK was, with his PERFECT GRADES and his COLLEGE DEGREE and—
bruce: i could not have been more clearly talking about you
Listen.
Feral stalker baby Tim would ABSOLUTELY create a plan to fuck up two face for what he did to dick and joker for Jason. Therefore, I believe that once Tim's parents are dead and the batfam are helping him clear out his stuff from drake manor, they would find his notebooks, mostly drawings of robin and writings and observations, but then Steph finds the Revenge Plans and all hell breaks loose

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The fact that at any point in time, Tim could: marry Ra's, create a child from their DNA and force Damian to call him Grandmother. This is the biggest threat he could ever hold over Damian's head and you're a fool if you think that Tim doesn't tell him that at every minor inconvenience
Dick Grayson would be so proud introducing this brothers to people. He would always talk about his little brothers in a.. certain light, so intros can be a bit confusing...
Dick: Remember when I told you about my sweet little brother? He is so kind, and he gives the best hugs! Be nice :)
*out walks a 6" behemoth man built like a tank with a resting bitch face*
Dick: Oh! And my other younger brother! You remember me telling you about him right? The smart one? The one that all the socialites love at galas. I don't know how he does it.
*in comes a sickly Victorian child muttering incoherent nonsense to himself, a death grip on his nth cup of coffee*
Dick: and the youngest. My little baby bro. Remember how I said he has a bit of a rough exterior? But he is so caring, in his own special way.
*A kid runs in foaming at the mouth screaming a string of curses before pulling out a sword and running after Tim*
Dick: aren't they the sweetest?
Dick (not recognising that he himself is genuinely unhinged): I don't get my newest brother, he just is different you know?
His co-workers: fear.jpg
Duke: yo I fear for my life around everyone in this fucking family
Coworkers: *sighs of relief*
Duke: anyways this one time I jumped off a bridge to avoid the paps
Dick- There is no way your body count is two.
Jason- Would I lie to you?
Dick- Yes.
Tim- Hey, guys. What are we arguing about?
Dick- We're comparing body counts. And apperently I've got two more than Jason. How many have you got?
Tim, shrugging- I dunno. I stopped counting after I hit triple digits.
Dick- What the fuck?
Jason- Triple digits? How the hell have you slept with that many people???
Tim- Slept..? OH! You mean that kind of body count! Yeah, no. I've only got three, then.
Dick- What do you mean 'that kind of body count'?
Tim- What? Nothing.
Jason- How do you still have more than me?
Dick- That is so not the issue here.
Tim- I think I hear Alfred calling me.
Dick- Oh, no. You get back here and explain.
Tim- Coming, Alfred!
Jason- How do I have the least?
Dick- I don't know. I don't care. Help me catch Tim.
"Estranged son Jason" "Estranged son Dick" you are all WRONG, TIM is the estranged son. Jason breaks down crying if Bruce doesn't send him a paragraph of a good morning text every day.
Tim is never home unless he physically can't avoid it. Tim doesn't visit unless everything's going to shit and he has to do damage control and run interference to make sure nobody storms off in a moody fit and drops off the map for months. Tim pulls the you're not my dad card immediately Bruce tries to parent him in a way he doesn't like (literally any way that isn't extremely hands-off) and Bruce can't even say anything to the contrary because Tim's emancipated and Bruce was his legal guardian for less than two years.
Jason comes home for the week before and after every holiday, no matter how much he grumbles, and goes all sullen whenever he doesn't have his pile of thirty-three or more gifts. Jason handmakes Bruce father’s day gifts and sulks whenever Bruce glances at anyone else's for a second more.
Tim has to be begged and bargained with and blackmailed into coming for even just the day of the holiday—left to him, he would just send gifts and be done with it. Tim says him even showing up to Father's Day itself is enough of a gift, and gives Bruce a store-bought card and Batman tie.
Tim's difficult for the sake of being difficult. Jason’s difficult because he wants attention. Tim would be happy if Bruce only made him do bi-monthly check-ins digitally and the occasional gala for the public. Jason demands Bruce’s time and effort but only in the way he wants it.
The reason is simple; Tim grew up an only child with no supervision as long as he got good grades and didn't cause any trouble his parents would have to deal with. Jason was the youngest child to an overachiever older brother for years and was used to everything being his way.
GODDDDD FOR THE LOVE OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR BRITNEY SPEARS CAN I GET MORE SPOILED BRAT " i NEED bruce to pay attention to me 24/7/365 or I'll die again" JASON CONTENT?????
LIKE, GOD, I LOVE THIS; Listen. Sometimes older children are youngest sibling coded and it doesn't fucking matter Jason is the second oldest. This motherfucker gets away with more shit than DAMIAN and that says a LOT
LOGICALLY, (and this isn't me wanting Jason to act like the kid he never got to be, what are you talking about) the person he'd have MOST beef with would be Damian for stealing his spotlight as the youngest.
He'll absolutely act like the big brother we all know he is and love, BUT. he crosses the line at Bruce.
He sees Damian wear one of HIS old sweaters that Bruce knitted for him and they both threw a tantrum while Bruce sighed in the background till he passed out. " MY sweater."
" MY Baba."
" THAT'S IT-"
Tim????? Tim doesn't have a love language with a solid foundation yet, and he's just not used to (or expected) Bruce to be so attentive?
What do you mean you want to hear about my day? What do you mean you made a snack for me? What do you mean you love me regardless of my accomplishments?
AND YOU KNOW, I hear the " Dick drags his siblings to the manor because Bruce loves their company and loves seeing all the baby birds in one nest" crowd. I LOVE you people.
But I'm begging. Imagine you're Tim Drake and you get a furious message from your older brother crime lord about you missing family brunch.
" Literally how fucking hard it is to call and say you won't be there, fuck off Papi cut his finger trying to make that dumbass muffin you like, call home you piece of shit. Love you."
YES
YES
YEEEESSSS
TIMOTHY "MY PARENTS ARE ON A DIG" JACKSON DRAKE
JASON "YOU BLINKED TWICE WHEN LOOKING AT MY GIFT AND ONCE WHEN LOOKING AT HIS DOES THIS MEAN YOU HATE ME" TODD
Tim drops out of touch for months and then sends an email about an important family meeting and it's a PowerPoint about if he should get a horse with diagrams and analysis of which muscles it would help strengthen and how this correlates to vigilante work
Jason is Very Upset if Alfred makes pancakes on a day he isn't there because "as a kid it was his favourite! Did his death mean so little that they're just eating pancakes with no thoughts for him???"
Bruce always worries when his children disappear or leave Gotham, but he gets even worse when it's Dick or Tim.
This is the thing, Jason goes off world with Kori and Roy and comes back calmer and saner.
Cassandra rarely stays in Gotham. She has a hard time remembering to call home, but she does, and Bruce is immensely happy to hear from her.
Damian goes off and returns with a sense of self and victory. He had a lot of fun with Jon, no one knows what they were up to.
Dick leaves and when he's back, he is carrying 3000 new tons of ✨trauma✨. He's been tortured, held hostage, save a small planet, lost his teammates. It's been a hellish week, let alone a month.
Tim disappears, doesn't call, doesn't text, nobody knows where he is. He comes back one day with a longer criminal record and the loyalty of a gaggle of assorted unhinged individuals.
Bruce trusts Jason, Cass and Damian to be responsible. Dick attracts danger, and Tim stumbles into it instead of sidestepping it.

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Tim: Can we stay with you tonight?
Dick: Both of you? What happened?
Damian: Someone was playing with an ouija board and cursed the whole Manor.
Tim: Jason wasn’t any help. He doesn’t know how to banish spirits, so he’s just throwing salt at them yelling “does this look like a hotel to you!?”
The Batkids stances on murder:
Dick: murder is wrong. Except when it’s the joker
Jason: murder is ok
Cass: murder is wrong
Damian: murder is wrong
Duke: murder is wrong
Steph: murder is wrong
Tim: murder would make Bruce upset
Tim, [pointing his staff at the human traffickers]: YOU ARE OUTGUNNED
Jason, [hyping him up]: WHAT?
Tim: OUTMANNED!
Jason: WHAT?!
Tim: OUTNUMBERED OUTPLANNED
Jason: PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES!
Tim: PUT YOUR GUNS DOWN ON MY COMMAND
Jason: HAND EM OVER!!
Tim: THIS IS HAMILTON MY RIGHT HAND MAN!
Jason, [getting his guns out]: PWO PWO PWO PWO PWO-
Goons: *shaking* what the FUCK are Batman feeding his partners--
panel redraw thingys
Duke discovered his powers as a teenager, but paired with a shitty health education, he's not fully sure which parts are meta and which parts are normal growing up.
"What do you mean heightened senses aren't normal? You got taller and stronger but y'all can't see better??" "Extra anger is not normal. The fuck do you mean hormones this is a serum or something. Have you not met Jason."
He failed biology.

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It's so incredibly funny to me that somehow some people think Tim is a boring straightlace and Jason is deranged and unhinged
Like Jason at his worst is a murderous crime lord who also has a moral conscience, protects children and sex workers, works to make the worst parts of Gotham safer and wants to know that his dad cares
Tim at his worst on the other hand.... Rampant murder with NO morals, becomes Batman and uses the gun that killed Bruce's parents, dictator, takes over like half of America, goes back in time like a couple times to tell his younger self that this is their inevitable end just to fuck with HIMSELF
Jason at his best is the happy robin, loves school, cares for sex workers becomes a crime lord to help make sure the people who are addicted aren't being given toxic shit
Tim at his best is entirely unhinged, stalking Batman and Robin through the streets, blackmailing Batman, all the young justice shenanigans, creating a fake uncle to avoid adoption, beefing with a like 9 year old (deserved imo 9 year olds are MEAN), lies to everyone including batman and take pride in it
Like besties one is exponentially more of a black sheep and it isn't the drug lord, it's the heroic sidekick of batman
Yes Jason is still out on the streets wildin and feral but I don't think people give enough credit to how normal he is for his background
Yes Tim is CEO but he's also been 17 for years and probably has taken cocaine to see what it felt like
I mean, Jason has a point...
Damian won’t need an uncle though because Dick and Jason are old enough just in case…not to mention Talia would steal Dami. Or his siblings would.
It be funny if Tim resurrected his fake uncle for Damian to use though…