I don't like this drink.

blackout sober

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

The Drinking of a Sacred Beer

I’m a Portland dad. Every day I wake up and put on my everyone watches women’s sports shirt and rei baseball cap. I take a bike ride to the hot new gastropub, crack open a cold ipa, and eat a 15 dollar smashburger with the boys. I bike back home. My wife with some thick as fuck rimmed glasses and bangs kisses me on the cheek. There’s 25 strange women in the living room. That’s right. My nonbinary daughter has sold me to the thorns. I’m a Portland dad.

🦭🗣️😾👋