I close the tumblr app and then I open it again. Hotel california

never forget what green onion has done for you.. for all of us

was just Remembering how you’d be out with a friend and you’d each order a different cocktail and you’d ask “what’d you get?” and they’d read the description off the menu and you’d be like “ooh that sounds good” and then they’d say “try it!” and then you’d have a lil sip of their drink and they’d have a lil sip of your drink and you’d decide which one was best and you wouldn’t give each other a life-threatening respiratory infection

my fav conspiracy theory is that everything will turn out ok eventually

imagine you’re on a road trip with the love of your life and your boyfriend like, insists you pick up this fucked up little hitchhiker who’s like 4 feet tall and looks like he’s literally about to die, then you hear the hitchhiker conspiring to KILL you and your boyfriend and steal your shit, so you tell your boyfriend and he’s like “oh no he’s harmless you’re lying” and basically this fucked up danny devito sized slimeball breaks up your relationship and your boyfriend leaves you on the side of the road!! that’s what happened to samwise gamgee.

ive started to use english in ways that arent mutually intelligible to normal english speakers. i can see a dog and say “this guy is really the animal of our world” and its really about the vibes of what im saying rather than the words. if you cant understand it its your problem