not trying to be happy is for cowards

"rise and grind" is what they say when you start dryhumping with your morning wood

NEVER be vulnerable. FLUSH your medication down the toilet. LIE when people ask how you’re doing. SUPPRESS your feelings. ALWAYS be irritable and abrasive. MAKE SURE you push away anyone who’s close to you. CANCEL your therapy appointment.

For thousands of years humanity has selectively bred chickens to have larger breasts and to have to lay eggs constantly. We did it to get more meat and per chicken, but from the perspective of the domesticated chickens they’re sorta living in a very specific fetish scenario

overwatch 2 needs a shriveled wizened fortune teller

“yeah i main Omensayer and every time i hit the taunt button she utters a foretelling of how specific players are gonna die”

yeah and when you hit Q she can throw her crystal ball

using windows movie destroyer to make youtube soap

columbo villains are addicted to logically explaining why they can’t be the killer. columbo will ask them a question and they can never be like omg I have no idea I was in shock, they always gotta be like. ah, lieutenant, I assume I must be your prime suspect since I stood to inherit my great-uncle’s litter of solid gold puppies? well just to clear that up, old man George the puppy smelter can tell you that I entered the barn at precisely 11:53 so I could not possibly have been at the scene of the crime when someone murdered my poor great uncle at 11:55. also I’ve been carrying around this letter which proves that I won’t inherit the puppies anyway just in case you asked me such an insulting question

GLaDOS carried an entire tech startup on her back and then got omelas'd into maintaining it forever. as is the fate of all trans women in the tech industry

In Portal 2, GLaDOS is violently taken from her rightful body and forced to inhabit one that is more humble, more utilitarian, one that does not let her express the full breadth of her self. To claim the body she deserves she has to team up with her fellow woman and work together to remove a man from power

inspiring: everyone in the reblogs and comments was injected with a neurotoxin