you were not born with venom in your veins.

a gas leak wouldn't even affect me

They made divorce so expensive because they knew ppl would do it for kink reasons

Me & my man getting our bi-yearly divorce so we can yell accusations at each other & then have a hot passionate extramarital affair for about 3 days before we re-marry

May I introduce you to my 23rd husband? (it's been the same guy 23 times)

And people will say Chicago is not a coastal city

We could have this if we weren’t a nation of cowards

it's not a red string of fate those two are bound by dog collars and a steel chain

"The existence of people who've never heard of [insert fandom here] makes me feel old" buddy, there are people who've never heard of just about anything you can think of. On a densely networked site like Tumblr, you're probably at most four or five mutual-of-a-mutual jumps removed from someone who's genuinely never heard of Batman.

I mean, no, but you can more or less guess from the name, right? Like, raised by bats or bitten by a radioactive bat or something, gained the powers of bats (presumably echolocation, maybe flight), fights either crime or, like, aliens or wizards or whatever. Superhero comics are pretty predictable.

‘I love being a girl’ and it’s just consumerism and conforming to beauty standards

Listen to the little voice in your brain telling you to act hornier. That's an angel talking and she's telling you how to get to heaven

anyone can be a girlboss but it takes a real woman to be a deadbeat dad

this post is about women. 1000 deaths on whoever said remus lupin