I Am Luxembourg

softer prompts || accepting

do i remember what this was for? no. am i using it for my own purpose now? yes

“Oh, please, it is no trouble.” No trouble and yet Lilli finds herself staring prolonged at the curve of Emma’s waist, shape very nicely by her stays. Realizing her stare is a bit too bold, she sheepishly clears her throat and diverts her gaze to her surroundings. 

“You have a very lovely room,” Lilli mentions while she takes her seat as directed, “It is very warm. I imagine it must be refreshing to come back to after spending so long in the ward.”

Emma can feel that sort of prickling warmth of being watched, but decides to ignore it. It was likely just the other woman seeing her in such a state of undress, and nothing more. She busies herself with wringing out her smock and overshirt before laying them both over a drying rack, hoping they would be done by tomorrow. Sometimes they didn’t get dry enough, and it made for an uncomfortable day.

“The main house, ask for the Duchess’ wing,” Lilli confirms with a nod and a smile, “I will do so, thank you. I will be over shortly.” Just as soon as she posts this letter. 

When all is said and done, Lilli finds herself standing before a grand set of doors, waiting for a servant to open them. Belatedly, she realizes she should have donned a more formal dress rather than immediately rush over from the post office. Oh, well, there is no helping it now is there? She steps through the doors and once over the threshold immediately drops into a curtsy of greeting for her hostess.

“Here I am, as promised.”

“Thank you very much!” Lilli’s smile is bright and beaming when Emma agrees to help her. Already she can feel excitement brewing at the opportunity to lend more of a helping hand. Perhaps this is not what her father and brothers had in mind when they agreed to let her come here, but, well, they are not exactly here to disapprove, are they?

“Do you mean we should start now,” Lilli asks, “Oh! Actually, I must post this letter, first.” She promised the gentleman she would send it out right away. “May I do this and meet you in your room, then?”

The suggestion was definitely too forward-- who even knew if this woman wanted to begin right away? Surely, there were far more important things she needed to attend to first, right? Emma really didn’t need to be making a fool of herself in front of a potential new friend. She was already quite good at that.

“Well, of course. You seem very knowledgable about what you do.” Besides, Lilli sincerely doubts any of the doctors would give her the time of day. But this lady, she seems so kind and Lilli sees how patient she is with the men. Perhaps she will be patient with her, too.

“Any practice I can have would be wonderful.” Lilli wants to be sure she knows what she is doing before even attempting on someone who is wounded. “I just want to help ease their pain as much as I can.” The letter writing and the conversation helps, Lilli is certain, but she wants to do more than that. She longs to be of more use.

Sparing a glance back through the open ward door, Emma knows the doctors were swapping out for the day and she was free to head home. So, there was no reason to tell the woman before her no. What was Emma going to do with the rest of her evening, anyway? Needlepoint? No thank you.

“What you were doing with the doctor,” Lilli begins, although she pauses to bite her lip in indecision. Is it even appropriate for her to ask what she wants to ask? Lilli is not sure with about the rules of etiquette in the hospital and what precedence will allow.

“With the bandages? Changing them and wrapping them and such.” Lilli’s gaze briefly flickers back into the ward, green eyes grazing over such gauze wrapped around a wounded soldier. “I am not a nurse but–…would you teach me? I do not do much, here.” Lilli knows the most she can offer is emotional comfort in sitting and talking with the men. “And so many I sit with tell me their bandages are uncomfortable. If I can help alleviate some of that discomfort, I should like to.”

“You... Would like to learn from me?” Emma is curious, but also delighted. She’s been asking for months for more to do, more to learn. The doctors have a tendency to dismiss her out of hand, saying that learning more does not suit a woman of her ranking. But she’s always been smart, and proud of that fact. Her lips curl into a smile.

Up close, Lilli is struck by how beautiful this lady is. She stands just a bit taller than Lilli herself with keen, intelligent eyes and skin that looks impossibly soft. Lilli finds herself reaching for her handkerchief out of habit to dab away the slight sheen of sweat on her brow. Thankfully, she catches herself before she mortifies them both with so intimate a gesture. They haven’t even been introduced!

“I think the hall would be lovely, thank you,” Lilli agrees, following her out to where they may speak more freely, “I am so sorry to have forgotten myself. I am Lilli Valkerath.” She curtsies politely to the lady while she gives her introduction. “I just…did not want to miss the opportunity to speak with you before you were called away.”

Emma feels the slightest twinge of embarrassment from meeting Lilli this way, knowing full well who she is and who her family is. Grasping the edge of her smock and wiping the potential dirt from her face along with the sweat. “Oh, oh no please, I’m used to working with men and they’ve no care for interrupting me.” It’s said with a little laugh, Emma shaking her head. It was incredulous the ways that men could act.

Being the only daughter among four sons with no mother to caution better, Lilli can also boast a family who dotes on her every whim. Her latest has her sitting a the bedside of a wounded soldier who is alert enough to dictate a letter to his wife and child back home. This was her family’s compromise: she may accompany her three brothers in the military abroad, provided she occupy herself with work that keeps her well away from the front. 

But not as a nurse. Nursing was strictly forbidden to her. Too gruesome, her father insisted. No lady should see such things. It would be too distressing and affect her health. And yet, while she writes this letter, Lilli notices another fine lady walking about. She stands side by side with the doctors, tending wounds and speaking reassuringly to each man she tends. If Lilli were being honest with herself, her attention was not so much upon the letter being dictated as it was on her.

When the letter is done and after she tucks the soldier in to rest, Lilli watches the lady until she is no longer waiting on someone. Then, Lilli seizes her moment and crosses the room to reach out and take her arm. “Excuse me,” Lilli says in a hushed voice to avoid disturbing which soldiers can bring themselves to sleep, “May I speak with you privately? Just for a moment of your time, I promise.”

It is so rare to see another woman down here who is not a distressed wife or sister. So rare in fact that Emma had not even noticed the blonde sitting across the ward at the bedside of one of her morning patients. It is really not until she is approached and gently taken hold of by the arm that she notices.

That’s what got her here, in a hospital standing bedside with bandages and sutures while the young doctor fussed over yet another soldier. There were always too many young men, brothers and husbands who came through here. Injuries from swords, from being knocked from horses, and even some from the budding technology of guns misfiring.  The doctor she was working with was nice enough, a bit full of himself and far too smart for Emma’s taste. But, he was willing to teach her, and realistically that was all that mattered. Any ulterior motives of his were lost to Emma, who was busy wrapping their patient’s arm.