masterlist > yong | twenty-one | she/her | mdni.

I be listening to ari but her latest song hate that I made you love me hits me deep in the feels like I sob to that song like nobody listens to that song better than I do like deadass.

bro daniel caesar is the reason why we all heartbroken, his songs hold so many memories for people who were so in love but were literally doomed from the beginning 😭😭😭😭

yayayayaya do it soon cause I’m impatient 🥸 I have too many but currently im on some drake, h.e.r, steve lacy and flo

I might pick my chances and reach out, but for now I think I’d rather organize my feelings first because I still want to approach it respectfully and kind. Yearning is SERIOUSLY not fun 😭 but I still think something about it is beautiful. Yes it’s painful, but it shows you how much love you have in your heart, how the shape of love is in the absence of its object. This isn’t my first relationship, but this one surely has a greater impact.

For me, I think I won’t say anything on their birthday, you’re right. Birthdays are precious and I don’t think it would be fair of me to make her sad on her special day. Maybe I will another time, but I like what you said about how despite it all the love I gave is a reflection of myself, that was very well said! Sometimes I wish the love I gave was also reciprocated back to me though, I mean I know it will find its way but obviously I can only been stuck in melancholy.

haha no no you’re fine, well I would like to but ultimately I choose not to cause it ended for a reason but yeah tell them you love them but I already did and I don’t think they received it but I made peace knowing that I tried.

Ive tried talking to other people here and there, but I always see some parts of her through them at times. It might sound horrible of me to say, because in contrast she is very unique and I don’t think I’d ever meet another person like them. I just never loved someone this hard before, so I just feel so many things at once.

if you feel like this is the case, honestly I do think you should try but not on their birthday. (please not on their birthday) birthdays are a little too precious to be sad if something goes wrong. sometimes you have to bite the bullet and see what happens. look at it from a perspective where fear drives you and clarity is your direction. your only closure should be the fact that you were able to reach out and be honest about how you feel. in the end love always wins even if it’s not with that person but how you show love, your capacity to give is a reflection of yourself. ego and pride aside, the situation no matter what will change if they’re not happy about it, move forward, if they are, move forward.

Yearning truly never stops, it just feels like my soul calls out to them but I get nothing in response. When I see them on social media, I almost feel a heart ache when I see them all happy. So I understand where you’re coming from when you say that she’s super happy. Im sorry about that, I feel like it can be hard to see that. But then again social media is fake yk? You can show and say one thing but feel the complete opposite. That might just be me being a tad delusional, but truthfully I believe both sides are always feeling disheartened even if it’s more or less. Sometimes I can’t imagine them moving on, but I know it’d happen one day. For me, the feeling is still fresh so it just seems impossible. I feel like going back, but I don’t know if it’s ever a good idea to do so.

everything is a facade but you never know once you ask yk? nowadays people lack depth and connection, they don’t communicate their needs or boundaries and I believe telling a person you love them is so important. even if it’s impossible, there is so much pain in not saying anything. if you’re missing that person, why don’t you go talk to them? unless you guys parted on bad terms then obviously use your judgement there but you never know once you ask or know what could be out of it. rejection will always hurt but at least you have an answer.