Effy McCall

Both hands moved back through his dark hair as he started to pace, freezing as she reached for him, his heart breaking at the pain in her eyes. His brow furrowed as he stepped into her, his hand moving to cup her jaw. Asher studied her features as if this could be the last time he’d see her, his thumb stroking her cheek as he dropped a soft kiss to her forehead. Of course she wanted to know why, she had every right to ask. The man stood in silence for a long moment his nose buried in her hair as he worked through all his jumbled thoughts.

“Stop blaming yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong…I got off work early yesterday,” He started, wanting to choose his words carefully. Effy didn’t deserve to be hurt. “I stopped by the house on the way home. I didn’t realize Chase had been parking in the garage. Anyway, you guys were asleep, so, I just grabbed a couple things and decided to come home.” He continued to explain. “Well, I ended up at that little bar right there downtown…” Ash trailed off, sighing softly as he pulled away from her, his stomach churning as he recounted the night before. “I figured you had made your choice and needed some time to be able to tell me. I fucked up, I’m so sorry, baby.” He apologized again.

Her question nearly drew a sigh of relief from the man, a twitch of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he pulled her into his chest. His arms wound around her as he tucked her head under his chin. “Absolutely.” Ash responded, peppering the top of her head with kisses. “I don’t wanna do this without you.” He whispered, closing his eyes for a moment. “I love you more than life…”

His explanation caused her to tense. She knew she had to explain, but didn’t know how to get the words out. She leaned against him, fingers tangled in the fabric of his shirt. She focused on the sound of his breathing as she tried to collect her thoughts. “I…I didn’t know he’d parked in the garage.” She sighed and pulled away, wanting just enough distance to look at Asher.

Her eyes found his, and she swallowed. She didn’t want him to know exactly how bad it had gotten, she had gotten. “I had been off my meds since you left. I had been off all my meds. I wasn’t okay, and a part of me felt guilty about the night I’d spent at your apartment. I hadn’t slept in days, I couldn’t be alone. I couldn’t ask Scott to come over; he’s got too many of his own things going on. I-“ she looked away from him, shame coloring her features. How was she supposed to tell him she’d been too embarrassed for him to see her like that. She closed her eyes, trying to find courage to talk to him. “I-“ Another pause before she forced the words out. “I didn’t want you to see me like that. I though it might, I thought that it might make you not love me anymore.

She felt tears prick her eyes, but she made herself continue. “Chase had seen me like that once before already. After you came back for winter break your freshman year and I’d told you that you shouldn’t have to wait for me. When I’d basically broken up with you, even though we weren’t together. So I asked him to come over. I couldn’t be alone and I-I was too ashamed to reach out to you. It also seemed…fair in a way. I’d broken the rules with you, I’d went to see you, so I was breaking the rules with chase too.”

His chest tightened as she explained how she came to make her choice, suddenly feeling bad for his best friend. Chase only gave himself fully to girls he truly cared about, Effy being one of two women he could recall. Logically, he knew it was fair, but, he couldn’t push down that little bit of jealousy that churned in the pit of his stomach. Chase was doing all the things he should have been doing for her, instead he decided to lay up with a girl who’s name he couldn’t even remember.

She let a few seconds pass before just blurting it out. “Chase knows, I told him once I realized. He didn’t take it well.” The anger he left in remained unspoken. She didn’t know how her choice would effect the boys’ friendship. She felt guilt washing over her against, and her her hand fell from Asher’s arm and moved to wrap around herself. She was trying to hold it together, mostly for Asher but partially for herself.

She couldn’t help the the feeling like she was going to fall apart. She couldn’t help feeling guilty over everything. If she had just never turned to Chase when Asher left, if she had just remained content with Asher when Chase returned then none of this would have happened. They wouldn’t all be falling apart and she wouldn’t be the cause. She thought if Asher’s words. He wanted her to be happy. She didn’t know if she could do that. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to be happy, not like how she’d been before. None of this was fair to him.

a kiss to make up for an argument

a dominating kiss to end an argument 

a gentle kiss to ask forgiveness 

a kiss against shoulder blades as arms wrap around from behind 

a kiss against the shoulder after waking up beside each other 

a kiss to distract

a kiss against tear stained cheek

a kiss on the brow 

a kiss where they’re both covered in blood

a kiss after one muse has killed for the other 

a kiss after one muse has injured the other 

a kiss between enemies who should be fighting 

a kiss between exes who meant to walk away 

a playful kiss to make the other stop rambling 

an adoring kiss because the other is rambling 

a kiss to end sexual tension 

an angry kiss 

a tearful kiss 

a kiss to prove a point 

a hesitant kiss 

a kiss from one muse who should be afraid of the other 

a kiss from a muse who the other should be afraid of 

kisses scattered along hardened jaw to try and sooth 

a kiss as if trying to answer a question 

a kiss between furrowed brows to try and comfort 

a kiss from someone the other didn’t think thought of them that way 

a kiss that says thank you 

a kiss on the corner of the mouth,  hoping for more but expecting nothing 

an exploratory kiss,  testing the waters between them 

a kiss on the forehead of one who is starting to fall asleep 

a kiss against the cheek after discovering the other is napping 

a platonic kiss just meant to express overwhelming emotion 

a kiss to comfort both parties

a kiss stemmed from relief 

a kiss to make the other believe professed feelings 

a possessive kiss to remind the other who they belong to 

a possessive kiss to show the world they belong to each other

a kiss stemmed from jealousy 

a kiss to make someone else jealous 

a biting,  passionate kiss 

a kiss against the neck which feels more like a bite,  teeth bruising skin 

a desperate kiss as if they are convinced they’ll slip through each other’s fingers 

a kiss to make each other feel alive 

a kiss stolen away in a corner,  ignoring crowds 

a kiss after being pulled into an alley to have a moment to themselves 

a kiss after grabbing the other’s arm and pulling them back close 

a kiss to convince the other to stay 

a kiss like they’re trying to convince the other to love them 

a hopeful kiss in the rain

a desperate kiss in the rain 

an angry kiss in the rain 

a possessive kiss in the rain 

a playful,  happy kiss in the rain 

a passionate kiss stemmed from previous heartbreak in the rain 

a kiss in the rain to make up like it’s a damn romcom 

a kiss in the rain filled with the foreboding of a goodbye 

a kiss to make the other stop being stubborn 

a kiss after treating a wound 

a defiant kiss 

a kiss between partners in crime in front of someone they hold captive 

a kiss to anger a third party 

an adrenaline filled kiss shared after committing a crime 

tw:   nsfw   (obviously).

touch me.

please touch me.

i need you.

i want you.

i trust you.

you look so beautiful / handsome.

be quiet.

make me.

i just want to feel something.

make me feel something.

i couldn’t stop thinking about you.

you don’t have to be so gentle with me.

be gentle with me.

my clothes look better on you. 

is that my shirt?

this doesn’t mean anything.

don’t get attached.

try not to fall in love with me.

i want to be more than friends.

we’re just friends.

what are we?

what am i to you?

i love your bedhead.

just kiss me.

shut up and kiss me.

can i kiss you?

let me distract you.

i’ve missed you.

are you flirting with me?

say please.

please.

undress me.

is this okay?

are you sure?

tell me you want me.

come back to bed.

i don’t want to get up.

don’t go.

stay.

you’re so tense.

just relax.

i think i’m in love with you.