effanineffable

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: having your grandson win a tour of a chocolate factory does wonders I hear /End ID]

The first ever YTP was made by Jesus and was of a speech by Pontius Pilate. They crucified him because his copy of Sony Vegas, which was strictly controlled by Rome at the time, was pirated

the trick to being funny is being really really really really really really really stupid

I went to Escher Sentence Island and more people were there than I was

i went to garden path sentence island and some flowers

went to sentence fragment island. sucked.

the trick to being funny is being really really really really really really really stupid

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

quit laying solitary eggs with penniless dregs and come lay healthy clutches with a wealthy duchess

I was lying in the leaf litter today when some moss spoke to me. "Excuse me, do you know the species of this fallen log beneath me?" asked the moss. "Hmm. No. Sorry, I'm a little fuzzy on logs," I said. "What a coincidence," said the moss. "I'm a little fuzzy on logs too."

HAPPY 20 YEARS OF NEIL BANGING OUT THE TUNES

if you’re on tumblr and over the age of 24 it means the mental illness won