Elenya Evening Post Comics

Thranduil: That’s where orc and elf babies come from.

Legolas: Dad, all that tells me is what to expect at the end of nine months.

Three Rings for the Elven-Kings under the sky...

Seven for the Dwarf-Lords in halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to, uh...um...die....

King 8: On Wednesdays we wear Pink.

King 7: Oh, well that’s real majestic..

King 6: What about Khaki? 

King: 5: How can you tell me apart from 3?

King 4: 3 looks like me.

King 3: Well, 5 looks like 8! Shouldn’t he be wearing pink?

King 5: It’s not Wednesday.

King 8: It’s not?

King 2: Hey, 1--dude, what are you doing?

King 1: I dropped my ring. I’m trying to pick it up.

King: 3: Use your hands.

King 1: We’re LEGOS, man! We don’t have fingers! 

King 7: Good point. How are we supposed to wear these things?

King 5: I don’t know. I thought they were donuts.

King 1: We don’t have mouths, idiot!

King 4: Then how are we talking to each other?

King 9: [For this, I died?]

Legolas: There was more the orc could tell us.

Aragorn: I got nothing.

Legolas: Me, either.

Nazgûl 1: What's happening?

Nazgûl 5: Don’t ask me--I just work here.

Nazgûl 4: Are we a musical now?

Nazgûl 2: Actually we are! Isn’t it exciting?

Nazgûl: 7: No! We need to find the ring or Sauron’s going be angry.

Nazgûl 5: He’s singing! How angry can he be?

Nazgûl 1: That doesn’t sound like a musical number.

Nazgûl 7: That’s because it’s not! It’s Beyoncé.

Nazgûll 5: It looks like Sauron to me.

Nazgûl 4: Which one of us is Beyoncé?

Nazgûl 3: Not me.

Nazgûl 2: I wish I was Beyoncé! She’s pretty.

Nazgûl 5: Who’s Beyoncé? Is she a hobbit? Wait--that sounds elvish.

Nazgûl 7: She’s a singer!!

Nazgûl 4: Oh, like that one hobbit that keeps screwing up everything. I understand now. She’s one of them.

Nazgûl 2: You know, Beyoncé was at Coachella this year?

Nazgûl 1: Who’s Coachella? Is she any relation to Arwen?

Nazgûl 7: It’s a music festival, you imbeciles! 

Nazgûl 4: So we are a music festival now?

Nazgûl 6: Who are you people? You act like you just died yesterday!! Can we just go already? I have a hair appointment at six!

Thranduil.

Song of Thranduil.

Thranduil: How is my favorite son tonight?

Legolas: Dad, I’m your only son.

Gandalf: What? What is that look?

Radagast: What was that? Some form of Elvish?

Gandalf: Why it’s a meme, Radagast. It’s the new age trend designed to make light of something using images and trending catch phrases to convey an idea or witty maxim.

Radagast: And people think I’m strange.

Gandalf: You’re not strange, Radagast. Just a bit eccentric. Adorably esoteric. Indubitably opaque. Extraordinarily unusual. Undeniably arcane.

Gandalf: Elrond?

Elrond: Yes?

Gandalf: Ever heard of betamax?

Elrond: No.

Gandalf: Eight-track?

Elrond: No.

Gandalf: 45 RPM Vinyl?

Elrond: No, why?

Dwalin: You believe that, Balin?

Balin: If I didn’t see it, brother, I wouldn’t believe it.

Dori: It was something I never thought I’d see in my lifetime.

Nori: Nor I, brother.

Fíli: Kíli’s going to be upset he missed it.

Thorin: He’s like his mother--small bladder.

Dwalin: What now, Cousin?

Thorin: I don’t know, Dwalin. I never thought we’d get this far.

Legolas: Let me guess--that was necessary?

Gandalf: Thranduil, stop that.

Thranduil: Stop what?

Gandalf: Doing whatever that is.

Bard: What exactly is that you are doing?

Thranduil: Nothing. Just doing what I always do.

Gandalf: Which is making everyone else look bad.

Thranduil: That hurts my feelings, Gandalf.

Gandalf: I apologize.

Bard: You know how sensitive Thranduil is about his looks.

Thranduil: I am very sensitive about them. You will never know how hard it is to be the most beautiful creature to ever walk the face of this earth. It breaks my heart to know how extraordinarily symmetrical I am with long flowing locks of golden hair that frame my immaculate porcelain features with seductively blue eyes so deep they penetrate the souls of anyone I look at.

Gandalf: I think I am going to be sick.

Legolas: What was my grandfather like?

Thranduil: Oropher was a great king and an exceptional warrior. He gave to this kingdom all that you see around you.

Legolas: Wow. All this?

Thranduil: Yes, son. Glorious, is it not?

Legolas: Yes, it is.

Thranduil: No king ever did so much for his people.

Legolas: You’re talking about yourself, aren’t you?

Aragorn: You just couldn’t let it go, could you?