bullshit

It was well past midnight, and Hange was scribbling furiously onto a pile of paperwork on their desk, muttering in annoyance, Moblit sitting beside them and quietly handling his own work.

“... and next time Erwin wants an entire forests worth of papers filled out in one night, he can ask someone else... he’s not the one getting up at the ass crack of dawn for experiments tomorrow...”

The candle illuminating the text flickered out, and Hange groaned loudly. Moblit moved to relight it, but they stopped him.

“Don’t even bother. I’m just gonna go to Erwin’s office and drop off whatever’s already done so I can get to bed.”

“Section commander, are you sure it’s a good idea to wake up the commander at this hour? And with only part of it done?”

“Well, if he wants the whole thing at a reasonable hour next time, he’ll just have to give me a reasonable amount of time!” Hange smiled defiantly, gathering up the stack of papers, waved goodbye to Moblit, and hurried out the door.

They knocked on the door of Erwin’s office and were met silence.

“All of this paperwork, and he’s probably already asleep in his bed. What a waste.” They frowned, and deciding just to leave the papers on his desk, opened the door.

Hange had to throw their hand over their mouth to stop from shouting when they walked in and saw Levi on Erwin’s lap, both asleep in his desk chair. Plans were sprawled in front of them, so Hange guessed they must have fallen asleep while working. As desperately as they wanted to wake the two of them up and confront them, they also weren’t in the mood to be beaten by Levi. So, they very quietly stepped back out of the room, and shut the door.

Walking back to their office, Hange’s head was spinning. Erwin... and Levi... together?? That certainly wasn’t just an interaction between a commander and his captain. Of course, Hange had caught some glances between the two of them, but this was so much more than that.

Hange finally got back to their office and collapsed into the chair, smiling. They cut Levi and Erwin some slack that night, but sooner or later, they had to bring it up.

The next morning, Hange woke up in that same chair with Levi looming over them.

“Oi, four eyes, your shitty experiment was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago. Everyone’s waiting for you. Why the hell are you still here?” Hange took one look at Levi and grinned.

“My bad! I’ll be sure to hurry over now.” They did their best to bite back the giggle behind it.

Levi looked at them suspiciously, confused as to why they could possibly be smiling. “Whatever. You’re late, hurry the hell up.”

Hange sprung out of the chair, and Levi started helping them gather up the necessary files from their mess of a desk, rolling his eyes at the piles of papers and empty plates.

“You know, Levi, I had some paperwork to give Erwin last night.”

He continued to search for the last folder, only half paying attention. “Is that so?”

“Yep. But, by the time I got to Erwin’s office, he was already asleep! Can you believe it?” Hange turned to face him, his back still turned. Levi completely stilled, and they both stayed silent for a moment. “The commander of the survey corps, asleep at his desk! You know Levi, you really should remind him to lock his door before you two fall asleep.”

“Hange-” Levi groaned, turning around to face them, and they threw their arms around him.

“Levi!! Why didn’t you tell me? You and the commander? I knew it!”

“Hange, lower your voice. Do you want the whole damn building to hear you?” Levi pried himself out of their arms, refusing to make eye contact, the slightest hint of embarrassment in his stony expression.

“I can’t help it! You know I’m not upset, right?” Hange shifted with him as he dodged their eye contact, and they finally caught him. “I think it’s nice, you two happy together. I’m rooting for you.” Levi definitely blushed at that, muttering some small “thank you” before clearing his throat to move on.

“Alright, now get your ass to the lab before Erwin stops letting you schedule early morning experiments.” He handed them the stack of folders and gestured to the door.

“Well, you know, I could always just have you talk him out of it. I have a feeling he likes you.” Hange smiled and prodded him with their elbow.