John Laurens was a Lieutenant Colonel while he was an official Aide-de-Camp. He started out as a Volunteer Aide, which is expressed by Washington in his letter to Laurens on August 5th, 1777. “Reasons unnecessary to mention” being the impending death of his Aide-De-Camp, George Johnston. It was officially announced in the General Orders for September 6th, 1777 that Laurens was to be an Extra aide:
“John Laurens and Peter Presly Thornton Esqrs. are appointed Extra-Aids-du Camp to the Commander in Chief: all orders therefore thro’ them in writing, or otherwise, are to be regarded in the same light as if proceeding from any other of his Aides-du-Camp.”
Then, in the general orders on October 6, 1777 Laurens was made an official Aide-de-camp. “John Laurens Esqr: appointed on the 6th of September extra-Aid-de Camp to the Commander in Chief, is now appointed Aide-de-Camp to him, and is to be respected and obeyed as such.”
There is a lack of mention of rank in the general orders, but that was because it was already determined on June 5, 1776 that “Resolved, That the aids de camp of the commander in chief rank as lieutenant colonels: That the aids de camp of major generals rank as majors. That Robert Hanson Harrison, Esqr. have the rank of lieutenant colonel in the continental army:” (Harrison being the only aide/secretary Washington had at the time of the decision was specifically named for promotion)
From that time onwards, no rank is specified for anyone, it’s just understood that that be the case.
On September 21st, 1777 John Sullivan’s Letter is addressed to “Lieutenant Colonels Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens” Meaning that Laurens was indeed a Lieutenant Colonel from the moment that he was appointed an Extra Aide-de-Camp, but he did turn down payment for his services, which wasn’t rare.
I don’t know where the OP got the idea that Laurens denied the rank of Lieutenant Colonel twice?
In Weir’s book: Portrait of a Hero, Weir is referring to the instance in which he turned it down in November of 1778. In the Journals of Congress for November 5, 1778 it is written “On motion, Resolved, That John Laurens, Esq. aid de camp to General Washington, be presented with a continental commission of lieutenant colonel, in testimony of the sense which Congress entertain of his patriotic and spirited services as a volunteer in the American army, and of his brave conduct in several actions, particularly in that on Rhode Island, on the 29th day of August last; and that General Washington be directed, whenever an opportunity shall offer, to give Lieutenant Colonel Laurens command agreeable to his rank.”
But John Laurens denied this opportunity. He was already a Lieutenant Colonel, he just denied the opportunity to be a Commissioned Lt. Col with a command of his own rather than working a desk job.
The thing with the rank of an Aide-de-camp is that there is a bit of semantics at play. A Lieutenant Colonel who is an Aide is different from a Lieutenant Colonel who is a line officer. Lt. Col. is a rank awarded to Aides simply to provide them with the prestige and authority to carry out their duties in the office, they could not lead troops in battle. Aides were often not even given muskets in battle and simply armed with an officer’s sword because they were not expected to fight, only to relay orders. A Lt. Col. with a commission to lead men, however, was a different thing altogether.
In Hamilton’s letter to Laurens in April 1779, he makes the same differentiation. “By your appointment as Aide De Camp to the Commander in Chief, you had as much the rank of Lieutenant Colonel, as any officer in the line … Congress by their conduct … appear to have intended to confer a privilege, an honor, a mark of distinction, a something upon you; which they withhold from other gentleman of the family.” Hamilton was saying that Aide’s don’t get commands, but other Lt. Col’s do and that Congress appeared to want to give Laurens the same privileges as other Lt. Cols in the army get to have when they aren’t an Aide to Washington. The appointment would make Laurens equal to all the other Lt. Cols in the army.
Laurens first turned this down because, as Weir states: “he declined it lest he be a source of dissension among those whose promotions came more slowly” but later accepted it when Congress offered it to him a second time on his way south. With that commission, he would be able to start work on the formation of his Black Battalion, which he would not have been able to do as an Aide-De-Camp Lt. Col lacking in the authority to have a command. As a Lt. Col. Like the rest of the army he would be able to.
So I think that, when it comes down to it, the OP was over thinking it a little too much when in reality, the answer was simple. Lt. Cols who are Aides don’t get line commands, other Lt. Cols do. And Congress wanted to award Laurens with that opporunity, which Laurens felt he did not deserve the first time that it was offered.