Riddler

This post could be referencing any number of things but is specifically about body odor. I've said before that I have hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating). I'm so self-conscious about it that I shower every day (sometimes multiple times a day!) and wear deodorant and antiperspirant all over my body. This doesn't even help.

People's negative comments about how weebs/nerds smell bad and don't care about hygiene affect me and people like me. Yes, even those of us who aren't that into anime.

Before you tell me that hyperhidrosis is rare, so you don't want to stop making these comments on account of us -- I'm not just talking about people with hyperhidrosis. There are so many disabilities that cause issues with hygiene. I'm guessing there are an even larger number of people who don't have regular access to running water.

I have so many memories about this, but one in particular: when I was away at camp with 89 other teenagers, and at the one-month mark the post was collected distributed to all the dorms. 89 other children tore open their boxes and, shovelling handfuls of sweets their parents had sent them into their mouths, read pages-long letters and handed around photos of their brothers and sisters.

I didn't. I didn't get anything, I sat on my empty bed watching them. The teachers had to call my parents and ask if perhaps the post had gone missing...? but my parents were surprised they were required to interact with me while I was away.

Well, today, my 3-year-old daughter had a fun-run. The childcare centre invited parents to come but stressed that if we weren't able to, it was alright. There was no fucking way I wasn't going. My daughter wasn't going to be the only child there without a parent watching.

I got time off work and stood there in the beating sun and plastered in greasy sunscreen waiting to see my little girl emerge from inside the centre and stand on the track.

When she did, her little eyes searched through the crowd person-by-person for me, and absolutely lit up like the sun when she spotted me.

Mine filled with tears as I waved at her and cheered.

Now take this logic and apply it to things like ADHD, autism, clinical depression, and other less visible/divergent disabilities. You cannot think your way out of feeling.

Now I have gotten significantly worse and can barely do anything on my own.

I feel like if I wasn’t told that, my condition wouldn’t have gotten as bad as it has.

This is ableism and neglect.