an infant runs this blog

u used to be able to put a dvd in your computer. and then u could watch it

shit man tomorrow is christmas eve i swear yesterday was June 2010

hello male writer. before you is a typewriter. you have one day to write a novella with a woman as the protagonist without describing her breasts. the timer begins now

Her ass was like a peach, and brother I’m in her pit.

well. that one’s on me

which limb?

penis

penis isn’t a limb you idiot it’s an external sex organ

my bad professor cock didn't realize i had an expert over here 🙄

You can control white people by giving them cheese

cheese is so good tho

I got one

My most problematic trait is that despite my blustering about virginity as a patriarchal construct that society places way too much emphasis on in a way that harms just about everybody, I think "turbo-virgin" is the world's funniest insult

I was too scared to watch edward scissorhands has a kid but I thought about how could a woman go through pregnancy with a fetus growing metal scissors hands it took years of theorizing, still without watching the movie, to even think that maybe he wasn’t born with scissor hands

maybe women are stronger than you think

Sorry listening and learning here

why do some companies send whole emails just to say someone opened your resume. what use is this information to me. i opened a jug of orange juice this morning and i didnt feel the need to alert tropicana

sorry for accidentally phrasing this exactly like a seinfeld bit

Why is the candy canes foreskin so hard to pull back