out of my head

The yogurt stain was pretty obvious, and while Ana didn’t like to freely admit she’d stained up her own clothes, she could silently empathize. Working in a coffee shop had stained up some of her best clothes. Unfortunately. “Yeah. It’s a pain in the ass when they dry out, though.” Overrated if you asked her. Clearly she had very strong opinions about cleaning supplies. “At least your kids got a sense of humor. Good thing you gave them blueberry instead of strawberry, though. That would have been an eye catcher for sure.” She paused for a second, thinking she probably should help him somehow. The kid thing caught her off guard. You can’t not help out a parent. “I’ve got a water bottle in my purse. No windex. But we can try to scrub it off, if you’ve got a couple minutes.”

“I’ve only used it, like, twice, so I can’t swear by its durability.” His mom had given it to him when Shea was a few years old because, obviously, kids were disgusting. He hadn’t had to use it often, though. Thankfully. “He thinks he’s funny, but you nip that shit in the bud while he’s still young enough to learn. I didn’t laugh until after I left.” He looked down again, rolling his eyes. “Without looking in a damn mirror, apparently.” He looked back up at her and nodded. “Yeah. Whatever. I’ll try anything you think will work.”

“Oh God, that’s not something I’m looking forward to. I just got my fiance to stop doing that, I can’t have my son doing that yet. Word of advice, put on your good shirt while you wait for the cab, not while you’re still with the kid. I’ve saved so many shirts that way.” She warned him, she was still new to the game, but she knew enough. “When are you meeting them? I might have one of Landon’s you can borrow, my flat’s not far from here. Don’t stress over it, I won’t let that happen. And you’ll blow them away, you could be naked and they’d be too caught up in your work to notice.”

“Yeah, you think I’d know better by now.” But here he was. Granted, Shea had never launched yogurt at him across the room before, and maybe he should have double checked before leaving his home. Live and learn. Eamon glanced down at his watch at her question and sighed. “Like, thirty minutes.” He shrugged. “Guess it won’t matter if I’m a little late.” It might reflect poorly, but looking like this would, too. He laughed lightly. “I don’t know about that. That’d be pretty distracting.”

“I’m sure with a little determination you can get any stain out,” she jokes, before nodding her head. “Yes, you can get a yogurt stain out. Do you want help?”

Eamon huffed, staring down at it once more. “Yeah, if you can,” he muttered. He didn’t know what she planned to do, but anything was worth a try right now.

“Does yogurt even stain?” She questioned. She’d never had this problem before so she wasn’t sure. “Just try washing it if you have time. How did that happen?”

“I don’t know. That’s literally why I asked.” Snapping at strangers wasn’t something he tended to pride himself on, so he took a breath before continuing. “Sorry. Just thought I’d be better at the getting stains out thing by now.” He didn’t have much time, but also didn’t have any other choice. “My son was flinging yogurt across the room.”

“How the hell did you manage that?” Em laughed, “No, I didn’t even think it stains. Just give it a was as soon as you get home, you should be fine then if not, I might have a trick or two. What kind of meeting are you going to, anyway? Work or something worse?”

“My son learned a thing or two about spoon catapults,” he explained simply, sure she’d understand, because kids were ridiculous. “I guess I’m just gonna have to wash it and see what happens at this point. I’m meeting with a client. Not really wanting my graphic design skills to be judged more by a stain on my shirt.”

“Cold water and lemon juice have been known to work every once in awhile.” She nodded, raising an eyebrow at the obvious yogurt spot on his shirt. “But if you really want to get the blood out, go for a little bit of Windex. Don’t go telling everybody that actually works, though, it’s a trade secret. You’ll single handedly run those shitty Clorox Pens right out of business.” Then the price of Windex would go up, it’d be a mess. "Did you trip or something?”

Eamon nodded, looking down at the stain once again, rubbing it with his hand as if that would magically make it go away if he tried it an eighth time. “Okay,” he sighed, thinking that he would have to run home and try that. Otherwise, he was just going to have to buy another shirt. “I dunno, I thought those Clorox things worked pretty well.” Then again, what the fuck did he know? “I have a kindergartener who thinks flinging yogurt across the room with his spoon is funny. Which, like, it is, until shit like this happens.” He paused, shaking his head. “But thanks for the advice.”

“Ah enjoy that while it lasts, you’ll miss it when he wants to watch all the older kid shows.” Maddie grinned with triumphant zeal, nodding her head in agreement and pulling the dvd back towards herself. “Yeah, things are just being recycled, there’s so many remakes. I take solace in my collection of classics.”

“Believe me, I am. Kid’s growing like a weed. I wish he’d stay this young because I don’t want him to turn out how I was as a teenager,” he said lightheartedly, though he wasn’t even joking. “I’m impressed. I’d like to see the rest of this collection you take so much pride in.”

“I once got three episodes in and almost on the fourth when I finally realized he’d fallen asleep surrounded by his stuffies. That’s when I realized I had the problem.” She shook her head, knowing how many times that actually happened. “That’s the best part. He loves standing at the window and yelling at me to look and the Tiger is staring at him like “I will eat you if you scream again, kiddo.” But he’s too excited to care. He asked to have one as a pet, it’s adorable.”  Em felt a slight pain her heart, excited and dreading the years to come knowing her son would be growing up. She didn’t want to lose her baby, she wanted him to stay small forever. Selfish, but he was too good for this cruel world. “Teddy already out smarts me with stuff, he’s a clever kid. Sometimes I wonder how he turned out so smart already, honestly the fact I have such a great child blows my mind. Like how did I make this great thing?” She smiled at the man. “That’s a beautiful name. I’ve never heard it before, but I love that. And I don’t think I caught your name. I’m Emerson.”

Eamon laughed at her story. It seemed about right to him. “Yup. That happens. It’s the beauty of parenting, you know.” He admittedly missed when Shea was that little, but he was happy to have him be so independent now. There was a lot more for them to bond over and more time in a day to spend together, it seemed, with no more diapers or bottles. “It’s a great feeling. Like, you wonder how something that great came from you. And now you have to keep it alive. That’s the hard part.” He laughed. “Thanks. It’s Irish. And so is Eamon --- that’s me.” He held out his hand for a handshake. “Pleasure to meet you, Emerson.”

“It’s a good show and children love it. I don’t blame you, honestly.” Sophia laughs, picking up the dvd that was next to the one in the boy’s hands. “But if we are being honest here, this one is also amazing. It keeps the disney version of Peter Pan alive, even though it is about the pirates.”

Eamon peered over the girl’s head at the DVD she’d picked up as she spoke, nodding his head. “I agree.” He’d only gone out for this specific show, but he was sure he might end up coming back with more than that. “You have a kid or just like watching kid shows?”

“Right, most of the time Teddy ends up playing with his stuffies and I’m the one watching the show and he’s in another world saving the universe with a stuffed tiger and rhino. People don’t give kids enough credit, they’re not TV obsessed at least not all of them.” Emerson went on, smiling fondly at the thought of her boy. “I loved dinosaurs more than my brothers did growing up, but I loved all the Jurassic Park and Land Before Time movies.They loved cars and my son, he likes zoo animals. We took him a while back and he keeps asking to go see the kitties at the zoo.” Emerson’s smile grew as the man went on. “That’s an adorable age tho. Teddy is only a year old, but he’s gotten so big already. What’s your boy’s name?”

“Yeah, that happens with mine, too. He gets bored but by that point, I’m too invested to stop watching.” Eamon grinned. “That’s adorable. Kids are awesome at the zoo. I love that they can’t tell when the lion clearly wants to get out of its enclosure and eat them as a snack. They’re too innocent.” He nodded, agreeing. “It’s a great age. He’s getting smarter every day, though. He’s definitely going to be outsmarting me soon.” He sighed, shaking his head at the thought of it. “His name’s Shea.”

“Good kid with good taste. I approve,” she teased. “How old is he? Three, four, five? Once you get to six they’re all in a hurry to grow up and watch the big kid shows.”  Maddie grinned, holding up the movie in her hand. “Poltergeist. All the best horror movies are old school. Because you can feel it in the film…how this idea pulsed with a new sense of horror, terror, that it was going down a road people hadn’t been down before. Nowadays…nowadays you see one slasher film and you’ve seen them all.”

“He’s six, actually. He goes back and forth. Sometimes he wants to watch the shows I watch, but he still prefers stuff like this more.” Eamon was thankful for that. It was much easier. He listened as she talked, nodding along with her in agreement. “Okay, okay, you’ve proven yourself to me. You’re right. That’s a good one. They’re running out of ideas recently, I think. They come up with the weirdest shit.”

“You’re so very right. They are the key to reliving your own childhood, keeping in touch with the mini you inside.” She tapped the dvd and gave a nod. “This is a good episode too. You should get it.” Flipping her hair she gave a playful curtsy. “I would be so bold as to say I also have good taste in adult programming, particularly horror movies.”

"I agree." Eamon grinned, looking back down at the DVD case. "I was planning on it. He's been asking for it." He nodded, raising his eyebrows. "That's a bold claim. There are only a few really good horror movies. I would like to think I have a pretty good idea of them too, though."

“My son isn’t even old enough to understand half of the shows he watches, but I shamelessly put on another episode on another because it’s not bad. I mean, it’s not what we had growing up, but it’s still good shit. Like those Dinos on a train, that’s entertaining. It’s like a G version Jurassic Park.”Emerson agreed with a light laugh. “How old is your baby?”

“Exactly. It’s quality. He’s a smart kid because of the stuff he watches. It’s not like it’s all he does.” Eamon laughed, nodding. “Oh, yeah, that one’s good, too. He’s really into dinosaurs right now so that’s popular in our house.” He sighed. “Just turned six. So sadly not so much a baby anymore. He’s his own little man now. What about yours?”

“You know what, I can’t lie. When I’m home sick I eat popsicles and do nothing but watch kids tv shows. Background noise, easy to follow when you’re not all there. It’s either that or I binge watch all the Disney.” Maddie did her best impersonation of the pig’s voice. “Mummy, I want to hop in the puddle.” It just makes me cringe…and then the kids start trying to talk like that. I’m all for child oriented speech but jesus, that’s a bit much.”

“I’ve done that too. But that’s why having a little kid around is so great. No one can judge you for watching ‘em.” It definitely wasn’t the only good thing about kids, but it was still awesome. Eamon cringed once again at hearing the too-spot-on impersonation of the stupid little character he loathed. “That’s why I like this one." At least when his son walked around repeating it he didn’t sound nearly as obnoxious. “Glad you’ve got such good taste in children’s programming.”