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You wouldn't understand what exactly she meant by that until you were knocking on his front door. The apartment building's location was in a nice enough area. Not exactly 'Posh-Gotham', but not Southside either. In addition, there was a Metro access line just around the corner that could take you straight to the University. The building itself was also fairly nice, at least from what you'd seen so far. Wall sconces lighting the hall, framed paintings on the walls, and carpeted flooring. The place honestly looked more like a hotel than an apartment building.

You're still looking around the hallway when the door swings open and you're suddenly face-to-face with a man big enough to take up the entire doorway. You gulp and all too suddenly realize why Barb gave you a heads up. Impossibly broad shoulders, arms the size of tree trunks, a scar running a few inches into his hairline all the way down to the edge of his mouth, and a section of white hair at the front of his bangs. He cuts an imposing figure, even with his relaxed stance. His eyes wash over you in an assessing gaze.

"You Barb's friend?"

You try not to fidget under the weight of his stare. You're pretty sure you're unsuccessful. "Yeah. I take it you're Jason?"

"That's me." The corner of his mouth lifts in a partial smile. "Come on in." He nudges his head to the side in a gesture of invitation, stepping back from the door to make room for you to pass him. "Kitchen's to the right, living room straight ahead, one bathroom here on the left, and another in between the bedrooms in back."

He gives you a quick tour of the place. It's sparsely furnished, but what little he does have seems to be luxury-made. He's got one of those giant L couches with a simple, blue throw blanket folded across the back. A bookshelf that definitely did not come from IKEA, given the ornate carvings in the corners and along the lip of the shelves. A leather recliner and a huge flatscreen TV are the only other things occupying space in the living room. The spare bedroom also already has a bed and a wooden dresser, but is otherwise unfurnished.

"My only rules are: stay out of my room, and I'll stay out of yours. Clean up after yourself. And let me know if you plan on having anyone over. What you do in your room and who you do it with is your business, but I'm not overly fond of having strangers in my space without knowing about it."

You turn in a slow circle around the bedroom, already picturing where you might put your things. "Barb mentioned you work nights, but didn't really say what exactly you do." Your eyes flicker to where he's casually leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed.

He smirks like you've asked something funny. "Private security."

You give him another once-over. Yeah, he's certainly got the build of someone who could be some bigwig's private bodyguard. You shrug and look away when you realize that's all the answer you're going to get out of him. "How soon can I move in?"

"As soon as you want."

By that weekend, you've gotten the hell out of your old apartment, leaving your roommates to duke it out over who left whose dishes in the sink or what-fucking-ever they were going to argue about on that particular day. Jason hands you your key to the apartment and helps you bring in your boxes, even when you try to dissuade him since he's done more than enough by offering you a place to stay. He shrugs like it's no big deal and continues to follow you silently down to the moving truck you'd rented for the day.

After that, the two of you quickly settle into a sort of routine. Jason leaves typically sometime after dinner and returns around sunrise while you're still in bed. In the mornings, you try to be mindful and quiet while he's asleep before you head out to class. By the time you get back, he's usually already whipping something up in the kitchen and hands you your plate when it's done, like it's a given he'd make enough for you both. After he heads out, you get to spend your evenings however you want. No fighting over TV rights or music choice, which, again, is a godsend compared to your previous situation.

It's about three months later when you get a text while in class that he's planning to have a 'guest' over later that night. You shoot him a thumbs-up emoji and, for the first time, come home to realize you need to arrange your own dinner plans. He's home, but is otherwise occupied, based on the rhythmic thumping coming from his bedroom. His guest is also extremely vocal... like pornstar-level. Lots of "Uhn, uhn, oh, yes! Fuck, JJ!"

That gets you to pause mid-step. JJ? Jason does not look like a JJ...

You snicker to yourself and continue heading for your room to put down your stuff and grab your headphones. You drown out the ambiance with even louder music and make something quick for dinner to eat in your room before tackling your homework. It's a few hours later that you reemerge to go clean your plate, and you're surprised to find Jason sitting in the recliner with a book in his lap.

You pause in the doorway. He looks more relaxed, less tension in his shoulders. You glance down the hall toward his closed bedroom door.

"Not here," he answers your unasked question while flipping the page of his book. "They don't tend to stick around."

"Your girlfriend?" you ask, stepping into the living room to head for the kitchen.

He scoffs out a humorless laugh. "I'm not really the commitment type."

You hum casually. No judgement. Everyone has needs, and clearly, he knows what works for him. You wash, dry, and put away your dishes, then fill up a glass of water and head back toward your room. "Have a good night... JJ."

His soft chuckle of amusement sticks with you longer than it should after you've closed your door and crawled into bed to go to sleep.

After that, Jason starts bringing new guests home every few weeks or so. He sticks to the roommate agreement and gives you a heads-up every time, and you either come home with your headphones already on and blaring or stay out later with friends or at the school library. You try your hand at dating, but learn early on that bringing them home is not a good idea. The one and only time you did, the guy nearly pissed himself when Jason came out of his room at the same time the two of you were about to enter yours.

Jason had taken one look at the guy before smirking ferally and drawing himself up to his full height. "Sup?" he gave that chin tilt guys do when they're greeting each other.

Your fling of the night had gulped thickly before turning to you and giving some sorry excuse about leaving his oven on at home before getting the hell out of dodge. Jason only laughed when you glared at him. From that moment on, you elected to not bother bringing anyone home.

Aside from that little hiccup, living with Jason is actually pretty nice. What little time the two of you do spend together, usually while making and eating dinner, you share casual conversation. He'll tell you about the latest book he's reading, and you'll explain your most recent homework assignment. You've learned not to ask too many prying questions about his job, or his friends or family. He's a master at giving vague or deflecting responses.

It all comes to a head, though, when you're up extra late one night, studying for an upcoming exam, and you hear a crash in Jason's room. You jolt with a start, because you definitely saw him leave several hours ago. In a split-second decision, you grabbed your pepper spray from your backpack and your heaviest textbook, before sneaking down the hall.

Your heart pounds in your chest, not only because there's an intruder in your apartment, but also because you're going to break Jason's first rule in the roommate agreement. But you're pretty sure he'd like it even less if you just left some petty thief to take all his stuff, so you take a steadying breath and shove open the door. "Freeze!" you shout, holding your pepper spray at the ready while also clutching your book to your chest.

You are wholly unprepared for the sight that greets you. There's a vigilante inside Jason's bedroom. Not just any vigilante, either. It's Red Hood. He's sitting in Jason's desk chair, with an open case in front of him that looks to be a first-aid kit or something. He barely glances your way. "Hate to break it to you, Sweetheat, but that spray won't reach through the helmet, and I'm not sure what you're planning to do with the book other than bore me to death."

You gape, a little dumfounded. You're not sure what to do at this point... "You're not supposed to be in here." That's really the best you've got.

The cadence of his chuckle sounds familiar, even though it's being filtered through a voice modulator. "Neither are you."

You narrow your eyes at him. "My boyfriend's going to be pissed when he finds out you touched all his stuff." You're not sure why you say it like that. Maybe because boyfriend sounds slightly more intimidating than roommate.

"Boyfriend?" he echoes before releasing a hearty laugh. "Oh, baby, I didn't know you cared so much." He reaches up and pulls off the helmet, revealing his face to you.

"Jason?!" You're gaping once again. The last of your tension oozes out of you like a melting candle. "Dude, what the fuck! You gave me a heart attack!"

He drops the helmet onto his desk and turns back to the first aid kit. "Thought you'd be asleep by now, and I just needed a quick patch-up before heading back out."

"You're hurt?" You perk up and step deeper into the room.

He shrugs like it's not a big deal. "It's just a scratch." He pulls off his leather jacket, revealing a shallow gash on the back of his forearm.

"Can I help?" You're already setting your book and pepper spray down on the edge of his desk and pulling his arm closer for inspection. You reach into the first aid kit for a sterilizing wipe, rip open the packet, and then press it to the wound. Once it's been cleaned, you cover it in antiseptic gel and a clean bandage.

Jason stays quiet the whole time, observing you closely and wondering when the game of twenty questions will start. It doesn't. You already know how good he is at dodging questions, and you now know exactly what he's been hiding. Sure, there's probably more secrets and things you don't know, but you figure if there's something he wants to tell you, he'll do it in his own time.

"What exactly was your plan with all of that?" He finally breaks his silence after you've finished patching him up by pointing at your book.

"Spray you in the face, then whack you over the head with the book."

His lips spread into a wide smirk as he shakes his head. "Babe, we're gonna hafta work on your self-defense skills."

The corner of your mouth twitches as you fight off your grin. "Not tonight. I'm going to bed, and you apparently need to get back to your private security job." You toss the trash from the first aid kit into the mini trash can on the ground next to his desk, then take your stuff and head back to your room.

"Good night," he calls to you when you're passing through his doorway.

You pause and turn back to look at him. "Be careful out there."

"You worried about me?"

You stare back him him for a moment too long. "I just don't want to go back to my old living situation." That's not the whole truth. You know it, and he knows it, too, based on the look in his eyes. You turn away and return to your room before he can say anything else.

The following evening, the two of you have a more in-depth conversation regarding his vigilanteism. He explains that he used to be one of the former Robins, before he was taken by the Joker, where he was then brutally beaten and eventually murdered. It's where he got the scar on his face and several others that he alluded to, but didn't show you.

"Now, when you say... dead... Do you mean, like your heart stopped for a few seconds before they revived you? Or..." You ask slowly, trying to rein in your horror at his story.

"Nope. Dead-dead. Like buried in the ground, funeral and everything, kind of dead." He says it so casually, almost like he's talking about someone else.

"Then, how...?" You stare back, overwhelmed and at a loss for words.

"There's this group, the League of Assassins. Their leadership has a... complicated relationship with Batman. They have access to this stuff called the Lazarus Pit. It has mystical healing abilities and is even powerful enough to raise the dead. Case and point." He gestures to himself. "They took my body, hoping to use my revival as leverage against Batman. But I didn't come back right. I was angry, vengeful, and broken enough that they could use it against me and turn me into another one of their puppets. I did some stuff I'm not proud of while I was running with the League. Eventually pieced myself back together enough to break out. Came back to Gotham and did some more stuff I'm not proud of... Now, I'm working to atone for the things I've done wrong while keeping this dumpster fire of a city as safe as possible."

"Holy shit..." You breathe, still processing his words. "Do all the other vigilantes know all this stuff about you?"

"The ones in Gotham do. We're what you might consider a 'tight-knit bunch'."

You hum thoughtfully. "Then does that mean they all know about me, too?"

"No." He shakes his head, then pauses, considering. "Well, one does. Batgirl."

You arch a brow. "You told Batgirl about your roommate?"

He chuckles lightly. "Nah, she's the one that told me about you."

Your head tilts in confusion until you connect the pieces. "Barbara is Batgirl?"

"Bingo."

"God, I knew she was coasting through that computer science class! She made everything look so easy!" Jason smirks as you come to several realizations about your friend. "Wait. Is it okay for you to tell me about her?"

"I already fessed up to Barb this morning about you catching me in the act. She confirmed my suspicions that you're trustworthy enough to know at least some of our secrets."

You give him a bemused look. "You were suspicious that I was trustworthy?"

"I'm always suspicious. It's what keeps me alive. Well, the second time around, at least." He shrugs.

"How can you so casually joke about your own death?"

"Little bit of dissociative amnesia and a lot of fucking therapy."

"Okay, then..."

The two of you talk a little more before he has to get ready for patrol. A part of him is a little relieved that you now know. It makes sneaking in and out a lot easier when he no longer has to sneak at all. Going forward, when he comes back a little banged up and you're still awake, you'll step in to patch him up, without him having to say anything about it. He finds that it's kind of nice, being taken care of. If he's unfortunate enough to get any serious injuries, he'll still go to the Belfry Tower or the Cave, but anything small or easy, and he'll come home to you.

Weeks turn into months, and then before you know it, you're graduating from GCU and you're suddenly starting your first "Big Girl Job" as a university graduate. You've managed to secure an entry-level position at Stagg Industries. It's a long shot from your dream job, but hopefully a solid enough stepping stone for you to find your footing before moving on with your career. Jason had told you he had enough connections to get you into Wayne Enterprises, but you'd insisted on wanting to stand on your own two feet.

Your tasks were menial. A lot of grunt work, or the shitty things no one else wanted to do, but it was a full-time job, with benefits and a paycheck slightly above minimum wage. The benefits weren't all that great, and neither was the paycheck, if you were being honest with yourself, but it was yours. You found your groove, worked hard, and hoped you might eventually catch the eye of your management team in order to get promoted to a better section within the company.

That hope very quickly dried up and died. Nepotism was clearly running rampant within the company. The only ones that seemed to move up were the people who already had connections. It didn't seem to matter how competent you were; it was never enough to prove your worth when dollar signs and family names were all that mattered.

You were already sick of working at Stagg by the time you managed to get yourself actually sick. It seemed to be just a simple flu. You're pretty sure you caught it that night some of your coworkers convinced you to go out to a seedy bar with them. It was one of those nights Jason had a guest over, so you'd agreed to hang out even though you weren't really feeling it. The bar was a total dive. Looked like the last time it had been cleaned was over 10 years ago. You'd only ordered one drink, but apparently that had been enough to pick up the virus.

You were bedridden for three days, then stayed home an additional week after that, while more mucus came out of your nose and lungs than you thought was physically possible to store within one human being. You disgusted yourself with the sheer number of tissue boxes you were going through.

Jason was a better caretaker than you expected. You'd told him early on to stay away, since you didn't want to get him sick, too, but he completely ignored your request. He made you soup, which he'd leave on your nightstand while you were asleep, along with cold and flu medication. He'd also routinely empty your trash can for you after you'd filled it to the brim with used-up tissues. He made sure to only come in while you were passed out from the medication, so you wouldn't yell at him to stay out, but he took good care of you.

After your week away from work, you felt mostly well enough to go back, but you had a very persistent, lingering cough after the whole ordeal. You figured it would go away eventually on its own, and continued to trudge along like everything was normal.

"You know... you've been coughing for like two months now." Jason brings it up one night that you're both home. He's sitting back on his recliner, book forgotten in his lap as he stares at you from across the room.

You're tucked into the corner of the couch, fiddling with a Rubik's Cube in your hands. You've been getting into puzzles a lot recently to give your brain the mental stimulation it's severely lacking at your job right now. "I'm sure it'll ease up any day now." You shrug noncommitally and keep fiddling with the cube.

"It hasn't so far. Don't you think you should get it checked out?" The implication in his voice is heavy.

"I've started taking herbal tea. I think that'll really help clear out the last of the mucus."

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Okay, can you be real with me for a minute and just tell me why you refuse to see a doctor?"

You finally stop messing with the cube and look at him like the answer should be obvious. "Um, because I can't afford to?"

"What?" That's not the answer he was expecting. He thought maybe you had a bad case of white-coat-syndrome or something. Not this. He nearly kicks himself for not even considering it.

You shift uncomfortably under the weight of his stare and start messing with the Rubik's Cube again. "Yeah, the health insurance offered by the company is really bad. It's like a $5,000 deductible before the insurance will start covering my expenses. So, everything until that point I need to cover out of pocket. I'm not sure how much a doctor visit will be, let alone the cost for the diagnosis and the medication."

"What the fuck? Is that even legal?"

You shrug again. "No clue. I'm sure I could pay more money for better coverage, but again... can't really afford to. It's just how this shit works, right?"

"No, it fucking isn't. At least it shouldn't be. Why do you still work there if the benefits are ass and you fucking hate it?"

"Nowhere else is hiring."

"I can get you into WayneTech!"

You sigh quietly, wanting this conversation to be over. "Jay, we talked about this..."

"No. I tried to bring it up, and you shot me down before I could finish."

"Because you're already doing more than enough for me by letting me live here!"

He runs a hand through his hair, tugging on the longer strands. "It's just an interview! I can get you in the door, but the rest will be up to you to impress them with your knowledge and skills. It's not a fucking handout. It's an invitation."

You go quiet once more. "...I'll think about it."

He grunts and settles back into his chair. "Yeah, well, think fast, because you should have seen a doctor like a month ago."

"Still not going to the doctor." You shake your head.

"Fucking Christ! If your insurance is so fucking bad, then just use mine!" He throws his hands up in the air out of frustration.

You furrow your brow in utter confusion. "What, do you have like special vigilante insurance or something?"

"No, I have real fucking insurance, that I can't really even fucking use, but Bruce sets all of his kids up with the best Wayne Enterprises can offer."

"Wait, wait. The fuck? You're Bruce Wayne's kid?"

"Ah, shit." He presses a palm to his face. "I forgot you didn't already know that. I'm adopted, but yeah..."

You try to laugh hysterically, but all you can manage is a coughing fit. "Okay, that part aside... I still feel like the doctor's office won't exactly accept little old me walking in there with an insurance card for Jason Todd written on it, unless this is some magical perk you 1-Percenters get to have that us peons don't."

He rolls his eyes. "No, obviously you'd have to like marry me to get on my health insurance, but if it'll get you to the doctor sooner, why the fuck not?"

"WHAT?!?" His words shock you so bad, you spiral into an even worse coughing fit.

"Fucking hell..." He mutters while jumping up from his recliner and rushing to get you a glass of water from the kitchen. "If you keel over in front of me right now, that'll really piss me off." He takes the Rubik's Cube from you and shoves the glass into your hands.

You take a few small sips of water until your throat calms down enough that you stop coughing. "Did you seriously just propose marriage in order to get me to the doctor?" You ask, voice raw from your coughing fit, but deeply incredulous.

"Hey, with Bruce's lawyers, we could probably have the papers drawn, signed, and filed within a few days. I sure as hell can't show up to the hospital every time I get hurt without people asking questions, so someone may as well be getting some use out of the insurance my trust is paying for."

Your eyes narrow into tiny slits as you stare up at him. "But then we'd be married..." You say it slower to leave a bigger impact. It seems to have no effect.

"Like legally? Yes, we would. But not a real marriage. Oh! Like one of those marriage of convenience things!" He snaps his fingers when the words come to him.

"Oh god, you're reading one of those period dramas right now, aren't you?" You rub a hand down your face.

"Hey, they wouldn't have a word for it if it wasn't a real thing." He points out, like this adds any sort of validity to his outrageous idea.

You can't believe you're even entertaining this. "Okay, so hypothetically speaking, if I were to agree to this insanity... we get married, I get on your insurance, go to the doctor, get better... then what?"

"Then we stay married. We can't split immediately after without someone looking into the arrangement as insurance fraud."

"That's because this is insurance fraud, Jason."

"Not if we stay married." He grins like he's got all the answers.

"Jesus... Okay, then what happens when, down the line, you meet someone else and fall in love?"

He laughs like you've just told a hilarious joke. "It's cute that you think I'm even capable of such feelings."

You roll your eyes at him. "I'm being serious."

"Alright, alright. Hypothetically speaking, if you later on meet someone and 'fall in love', then we divorce and go our separate ways. Easy-peasy. It doesn't have to be complicated."

"This is fucking crazy." You give him a hard stare, but he only grins wider.

"Crazy brilliant."

The next morning, Jason is still awake after his night on patrol and is making breakfast in the kitchen when you're getting ready for work.

"I told Bruce the plan. He's willing to have the papers made and filed, but he and Alfred want to meet you first."

You stare at him like he's criminally insane. "I never actually agreed to any of this. We were speaking hypothetically, Jason!"

"Yeah, well, I'm realistically invested in keeping you healthy. You're pretty decent as far as roommates go. I'd hate to hafta find another one."

You cross your arms and stick out a hip. "What, so now I don't even get a say in our fake marriage?"

"Marriage of convenience. And you've already proven you don't take matters concerning your health seriously, so as a good future husband, I'm electing to make those decisions for you." He sets your plate down on the dining table and waits for you to take your seat before he brings you a glass of orange juice and sits with his own plate of food.

"You also told Bruce the terms of this marriage of convenience? And he was okay with it?"

Jason shrugs casually. "Meh, he's fine with a little light insurance fraud if it's done for the right reasons. It's Alfred who you're really going to have to convince."

"Who's Alfred?"

He grins. "The butler."

Two nights later, and you're scrambling in the kitchen of the apartment to get dinner finished. You'd told Jason that if you were going to be meeting his billionaire family, you wanted to do it on your home turf. Now that the moment was here, you were questioning your decision. You'd mad-dash cleaned the entire apartment: wiping the counters, mopping the floors, scrubbing the tile in the bathroom.

The whole place had become a lot more homey after you moved in. You'd added some artwork to the walls, candles on side tables, hanging plants, that sort of thing, but now you were worried they might think the place looked too cluttered. Don't rich people nowadays usually take a more minimalistic approach?

Dinner has been left to simmer on the stove when there's a knock on the front door.

"I'll get it," Jason tells you when the sound makes you freeze in panic. "Hey, come on in."

You peek out from the kitchen doorway to watch the two men enter the apartment. Bruce is easily recognizable; you've seen him plenty of times on the news. You still can't really believe that you're seeing him in person now. It's surreal. He catches your stare from down the hall and smiles in greeting. "You must be the roommate."

You gulp and force yourself to step out into the hall and introduce yourself. "Thank you for coming. Please take off your coats and make yourselves comfortable. Dinner's almost ready."

"It smells divine." Bruce gives you a charming smile that makes your face hot. "Thank you for having us." He holds out a bottle of wine.

You take it graciously, only to almost drop it when you look down and recognize the label. You saw it once, inside a glass display case at an art and wine festival you went to with friends back in college. It's an $8,000 bottle of wine... You're gonna fucking pass out. You clutch the bottle to your chest, laugh nervously, and excuse yourself back into the kitchen.

"The place looks great, Jason. Can't believe it's taken marriage talks to get you to invite us over."

Jason grunts some response you don't hear before walking with Bruce deeper into the apartment.

"I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of bringing along some cookies for dessert."

You look up to find Alfred standing in the doorway of the kitchen, holding a pink pastry box. "Oh, of course not. Jason's already told me all about your world-famous cookies." You indicate to a spot on the counter where he can place the box.

"Might I be of any assistance with your dinner preparations?"

"Thank you for offering, but I think I've got it handled. You're a guest tonight, Alfred."

He steps back and gives you a fond smile. "I take it the sunflower hand towels and cat paw oven mitts are your additions to the household?" He inquires while gesturing toward the items in question.

You laugh in embarrassment. "Yes. Jason kind of had that monochrome bachelor aesthetic going on in here until I showed up and ruined it."

"I like them. They add warmth to your home. I may have to invest in my own pair of pawprint oven mitts."

You giggle again and hope he's not just really good at masking his sarcasm. "I'll have to keep that in mind when Christmas comes around."

Dinner starts off pretty well. Bruce and Alfred alternate asking you different questions about yourself. What you studied in school, what you're doing now, what your future goals are. They're very good at making it seem like casual conversation, but you get the distinct feeling that you're under interrogation. You at least expected this much. You can't imagine the lengths someone like Bruce Wayne must have to go through to keep his family members safe from scammers and con artists. You answer everything truthfully, and admitting that Barbara was the one to introduce you to Jason seems to earn you some brownie points, which makes you wonder if these two know about Jason and Barb's late-night extracurriculars. There's a niggling at the back of your mind, like when you're really close to figuring out the trick to one of your puzzle games, but it's not quite there yet.

At one point, you get a little piece of food stuck in the mucus buildup of your throat and have to excuse yourself to have a coughing fit in the bathroom. While you're away, Jason feels himself getting put in the hot seat.

"So... she seems cute," Bruce grins casually at his son.

Jason's hand tightens around his fork as he glares. "Keep your hands to yourself, Old Man."

Bruce only laughs heartily. "Not for me. For you."

Jason shifts in his seat, glancing over his shoulder to make sure you're still in the bathroom. "It's not like that."

"Ah, yes. I do believe young master Jason called it a marriage of convenience, Sir."

"Yeah," Bruce scoffs like he doesn't believe a word of it. "Normally, something like that means both parties have something to gain. Once she's married to you, what do you get out of it?"

Jason stares back at his mentor and father figure. They've certainly had their ups and downs over the years, but Jason trusts that Bruce is just trying to look out for him in this moment. "I just want her to live a long and healthy life. She deserves to have someone taking care of her, even if she says she doesn't want it."

Bruce hums and mulls over his words.

You return from the bathroom at that point and smile shyly while returning to your seat. "Sorry about that. Where were we?"

"We were just beginning to discuss the logistics of your marital arrangement," Bruce supplies helpfully.

"Oh, perfect. I want a prenup," you announce, and the table goes dead quiet.

All three men stop eating and turn to look at you inquisitively. "I... wasn't aware you had any assets you wanted to protect," Bruce starts up again.

"Not for me. For Jason." You point over at him. "I want to make this clear from the get-go that I don't want any of his money."

Jason sighs and rubs a hand over his face. "See? This is exactly what I was talking about. She's a detriment to her own health."

"What the hell does that mean?" you ask with a dangerous lilt to your tone.

"It means we're not getting a fucking prenup."

"What, so you actually want me to go running off with half your stuff?"

He releases a dry chuckle. "Oh, baby, I'd like to see you try."

Alfred leans in his chair to whisper toward Bruce. "Sir, I do believe we are bearing witness to young master Jason's first marital spat."

"We should have brought some popcorn."

The two of you continue to argue for several minutes, impressing both Bruce and Alfred with your ability to hold your ground against Jason, even though every argument you provide only makes him more frustrated. Even more impressive is how long Jason continues to maintain his composure, even when everything you say irritates him even further. He's completely blown up at his siblings or his enemies for offenses far less than this. They can see how easily you're able to slip under his skin, but it's almost like he doesn't even mind that you're there. That maybe, he even enjoys it.

The two share a knowing look before Bruce breaks up your arguing with a decisive, "Ahem." You both stop and look his way. "I'll have my lawyers whip up a contract that should satisfy all parties. You'll still need to take it down to City Hall to have it notarized, but if we work quick enough, you both can be officially married by the end of the week."

"Jesus, you know how to get shit done," you gape at him.

"I prefer the term efficient," Bruce laughs.

"Welcome to the Bat Family, young Miss," Alfred smiles warmly.

Your head tilts curiously. "The Bat Family?"

All three men tense up once more, the older two pinning Jason with a look. "I thought you said you told her," Bruce frowns.

"I told her about me! Not about you!"

That's when it clicks. Jason running around as Robin at the same time he'd been adopted by Bruce, the Barbara connection, Bat Family??? "Oh my God, you're fucking Batman!"

Bruce and Alfred make their escape while you're laying into Jason for not better preparing you to play hostess to fucking Batman himself. You end the night by taking the box of Alfred's cookies into your room and refusing to share any of them with him despite his numerous apologies through your locked bedroom door.

This story has absolutely spiraled into a whole thing and got way longer than I was expecting. I'm splitting it into multiple parts for everyone's sanity

Part 2

This is my Levihan Star Wars au, where all Attack on Titan characters are born in the Star Wars universe. I decided to combine two of my obsessions. [If you don't like Levihan (Levi x Hange ship), then you might not like this, which is ok, we are all entitled to our own different opinions.] I tried to bring elements from Attack on Titan into the Star Wars universe. This one is set during the Prequel/Clone Wars era. Levi and Hange are Jedi Masters who are the primary creche masters/teachers of the 104th youngling clan. They have been instructing these younglings since they were toddlers, and have to protect, train, guide and teach these younglings until they are old enough and ready to become Jedi Padawans. [Levi and Hange have a parental relationship with their younglings]. Levi and Hange are the closest thing that these younglings have as parents, with Levi as the dad and Hange as the chaotic mum.

That being said, Levi and Hange are both highly skilled Jedi who also go on other missions as well. When they aren't available to teach their younglings, then usually Moblit, Miche, Petra, Nifa, Shadis or Master Yoda will fill in.

Hange and Moblit are force healers and can do very advanced force healings. Hange did teach some basic force healing to Levi and Petra, too, so, while it's nothing too complicated, they can at least use it to stop bleeding. Moblit also taught Nifa force healing. Hange also taught her younglings some basic force healing as well.

Miche, Eren and Sasha all have psychometry, which is a rare force ability where you can touch an object and can see and hear the previous events that happened in relation to that object. It allows you to see and hear force echoes. It allows you to gain information about the person or events that happened. I thought that they should have this ability because of Miche's heightened sense of smell in AOT, Sasha's advanced hearing and sensors in AOT, and Eren being able to see the future and the past with his titan in AOT that is triggered by touching someone with royal blood.

Because Titans aren't a thing in the Star Wars Universe, I got there to be a droid called Titan. Generally speaking, in Star Wars, it is very useful to have a droid, as it also allows you to do a lot more, and droids help you get away from the enemy faster. This droid also flies, so you can use the little guy to fly around if you want. Titan is Hange's droid that she adores. He is loyal to her and can be very useful in missions and gathering intelligence. Titan does have a mischievous and chaotic personality (because Titans in AOT cause a lot of chaos). He does like to pull pranks on people (except for Hange, Erwin, Moblit, and he learned the hard way that pulling pranks on Levi is a terrible idea). He looks after the younglings as well but does also pull pranks on them. He and Eren have a similar relationship that Ezra and Chopper have in the Star Wars Rebels show. He knows that he has to play nice with Jedi, clones and the Republic in general. But he will wreak absolute chaos and destruction on the enemy, with lots of explosions on enemy ships and bases. That being said, he is a very loyal droid that ends up helping levihan and the kids for the rest of their lives. The paint job, I used the red from the Colossal Titan, and I tried to make it look as though someone drew titan-shifter marks under his "eyes" and that someone drew a goofy titan smile full of teeth on him.

There are also clone troopers Swaney and Bean, who are close friends with Hange. My way of getting Swaney and Bean into the au.

In this au, Miche is Hange's older brother, and Moblit is her younger brother. Kenny is still Levi's uncle, and Mikasa is still Levi's cousin. Hange and Levi have been best friends since they were younglings, along with Isabel and Furlan, who were also childhood best friends of the two.

For Hange's lightsaber, I tried to do a "wings of freedom" inspiration for the lightsaber hilt, along with a DNA/science-inspired design to capture her curious nature. Her lightsaber colour symbolises her pursuit of knowledge, scholarly pursuits, practical skills, and her deep connection to the force.

For Levi's lightsaber, I tried to make it clean and practical, with a curved design, inspired by his attack style in Attack on Titan. His lightsaber colour symbolises him being attuned to the force on a physical level; he is also able to be able to occasionally use abilities from the darkside as a tool, without being consumed or controlled by it.

Jedi have lineages of who trained who. Hange's Jedi lineage; her master who trained her when she was a padawan, was Jedi Master Keith Shadis. Hange's padawan, whom she trained into knighthood, is Jedi Knight Moblit Berner. Moblit's padawan is Jedi Padawan Nifa.

Miche is also a Jedi Master. Jedi Master Miche often works with Odessen Commander Nanaba. The two are in a somewhat of a secret relationship.

Levi's Jedi lineage; he was trained by his uncle, former Jedi Master Kenny Ackerman, as a padawan, and was taught many things that the Jedi Council doesn't like. Kenny left the Jedi order the day Levi became a Jedi knight and became a smuggler. Levi's padawan, whom he also trained into knighthood, is Jedi Knight Petra Ral. Petra is planning on eventually taking Eren to be her padawan. At the moment, Eren is too young and isn't ready yet. Petra ends up having a relationship with Ouro Bozad during the time of the Galactic Republic, as they served together during the Clone Wars and served again together as Rebel Pilots in the same squadron.

Before Order 66, Levi and Hange are best friends who know everything about each other, and they still have their levihan telepathy just as they do in AOT, but it is enhanced by the force. They still have a deep trust and respect for each other. Levi is still the clean freak who makes sure Hange has a bath. They do love each other deeply, but they don't really act on any romantic feelings they have towards each other. After Order 66, Senator Erwin surprises Levi and Hange by officially marrying them with a marriage certificate. Levi and Hange were already co-parenting the 104th younglings anyway, but they officially became the younglings' parents after Order 66. It didn't take long for the kids to start calling them "dad/papa" and "mum/mama". After Order 66, a very strong foundation of their relationship was already there for a lifelong marriage; they were able to act on their romantic feelings for each other, instead of putting duty first. And maybe through Levi and Hange's marriage, that's how the character of Udo gets brought into the Star Wars universe.

When Order 66 happens, I do see Miche, Hange, Levi, Moblit, Petra, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha, Connie, and Historia surviving. Hange and Levi are the ones who rescue their younglings out of the Jedi Temple during Order 66. Senator Erwin helps to get them off Coruscant (similar to how Bail Organa does for Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi), he gives them fake IDs and relocates them back to Odessen. The good thing is that Odessen is a planet that is strong in the force, including the light side of the force, so it can mask multiple force signatures of Jedi from the Sith. They and Erwin all survive the Galactic civil war and live long lives, because Hange, Erwin, Moblit, Miche, Nanaba, Sasha, and Eren's deaths hurt me the first time. {I'm also pretending that the sequels don't exist, because fighting for 20 years for freedom only to have it taken away around 15ish years later, freaking sucks, and it sucks more for the Jedi, imagine suffering the genocide of the Jedi during order 66, only to be genocided again 35ish years later, stuff that honestly.}

In this AU, Eren's hatred for the Titans is replaced by hatred for the Empire instead.

After Order 66, Erwin has Hange and Levi pose as a married couple for their fake ID. The reasoning behind it is that having seven children call the two adult guardians "master", with a clear teacher-student relationship, will send Darth Vader and the Inquisitors straight to your door. Where, if you have a married couple with seven children that call them "mum" and "dad", there is nothing weird about that, in the Star Wars galaxy, there are bound to be large families anyway, also, there were a lot of war orphans after the Clone Wars, so it wasn't uncommon for families to adopt.

Senator Erwin Smith is the senator of Odessen (which is a SWTOR world that serves as the base of the Eternal Alliance in the Star Wars: The Old Republic game, where your character serves as the Eternal Alliance Commander). Odessen is a planet that is strong in both the light side and the dark side of the force equally. It is located in Wild Space and was once vital to the survival of the Old Republic, but now barely anyone in the Republic remembers it, which makes it easier for Erwin to do work in the shadows (uncovering corruption). In this au, Odessen is entirely a self-sufficient planet. I see Erwin making alliances with like-minded senators such as Padme Amidala, Bail Organa, Mon Mothma, and Riyo Chuchi. I don't think Erwin would trust Chancellor Palpatine. I think he would have his team of soldiers and Jedi (such as Miche, Hange, Levi, Moblit, Nifa and Petra) uncover more evidence of Darth Sidious (who orchestrated both sides of the war from the beginning and is Palpatine). He either would've been very close to solving the case by the time of order 66, or he would've already solved the case and is waiting for the opportunity to make his move. There would be many things that happen in the Clone Wars that make Erwin suspicious, that things may not be all they appear to be, which puts him on the path of uncovering the secret plans of Darth Sidious. During the time of the Galactic Empire, Erwin is the leader of a rebel cell called Survey Corps, or Scouts for short. His rebel cell is secretly based in Odessen, although that being said, no open rebel activity is done in Odessen, because bringing the attention of the Empire to your secret base is not a good idea; every rebel is forbidden from doing open rebel activity in Odessen for that reason. As far as the Empire is concerned, Odessen is just a backwater planet in the dangers of Wild Space and doesn't have anything of real value to the Empire, so for the most part, they can't be bothered; half the time, they forget it exists anyway, and occasionally they will send small teams down there that would typically rob the locals and then leave.

In this AU, Scout characters are either Jedi, Odessen Soldiers loyal to Senator Erwin, Smugglers, Rebel soldiers, or Rebel pilots. I don't really see any of them liking the Empire, so they would probably all be on the side of the Rebel Alliance in some way. Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa/Skywalker, Han Solo and Chewbacca are still the main heroes of the Rebel Alliance, but there are always other activities for rebels to do. The Empire is still enslaving, massacring, and oppressing people. So even if they aren't at the Battle of Yavin, they can still do meaningful work that helps people and is another defeat for the Empire.

The Marleyan characters will be Empire-aligned, with some of the Warriors being Inquisitors (Jedi Hunters). Some of them might defect from the Empire and join the Rebellion instead. Falco and Gabi are two force-sensitive kids who were rescued by the Inquisitors by Hange and Levi.

After Order 66, Levi and Hange live in an old house (that can fit in a large family) in a forest area close to a nearby country town in Odessen. In the small town, there is an abandoned building that they both renovate (with the help of Erwin's funds so that they can afford it), which on one side is Levi's tea shop/cafe, and the other, larger side is a mix of a pharmacy, a doctor's clinic and a science lab that is run by Hange with her assistants Moblit and Titan. They have their lunch breaks in Levi's tea shop. Hange and Moblit are the only doctors in the town, and secret force healers. Levi's tea shop becomes well-loved in the town, too, and it's not uncommon for patients to have a drink or even some food in Levi's tea shop, as it is connected to the waiting room. There is also a local school in town for their kids to go to. This helps to maintain their disguise and to have a civilian identity, as they are highly wanted fugitives by the Empire. Also, a 20-minute walk from their house, further into the depths of the forest, there is a secret, large cave that is hidden by a waterfall, which Hange and Levi further hide by temporarily sealing the entrance with rocks, using the force whenever it's not in use. They use this cave to secretly keep training their younglings as Jedi in secret, because no matter what they do, they are always going to be Jedi hunters come after them, so it's best to be as prepared as possible so that if anyone runs into the Inquisitors or Vader, then they can at least survive the encounter. Also, to prepare the kids for Rebel activity when the need arises, with or without their influence, the kids all hate the Empire and want to fight back against the Empire for what was done to them during Order 66. And Hange and Levi can't stay out of a fight when so many people are suffering; they just have to wait for their kids to get older before they can do too much for the Rebellion. In the meantime, they can do a lot of preparing and training. Whenever they do use the cave, they do seal it up from the inside to prevent anyone from seeing Jedi activity, mainly just in case there are Imperial probes or Imperials around the area that they aren't aware of.

Mine's hmmmm, "Kei te wareware i a Tātou - Te Matatini", or "Taku Raumiri - Uru Whetu" OR "I AM - Stan Walker" (<- bilingual). And I can sing them all :3 last one not off by heart but yah <3