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real yearners miss shit that never even happened

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The welt on Eve's cheek stuck out like a sore thumb, reddish-purple and angry under the unforgiving light of the diner. Was it the shape of a handprint? Emmett studies it briefly, not wanting to bring too much attention to something she may not want to speak about. Still, worry wells up within him and the words gush out. "What happened to your - I mean -" he points to his own cheek. "It looks like you got into a fight." His bewilderment is obvious. "which I .... never thought I'd ever be saying."
When Eve raises the menu to cover her face, Emmett lets a small smile of amusement creep onto his face at the protective gesture. Her dramatics resonate with him, speaking to the same flair nestled inside of him. He hides it away promptly as she slowly lowers it back down - the look on her face informs him on the seriousness of the situation. The tortured suffering in her expression reminds him of his own and his heart is pulled towards her. As Eve articulates her feelings to him, Emmett can only think of Charlotte. Their bodies pressed together in the dark and the silent vacancy between them now. "Yeah." Emmett scoffs. "Trust me, I might know that feeling better than anyone."
Eve's confession bursts out of her and Emmett allows himself to have a look of shock on his face while her head is momentarily buried in her hands. He pinches the bridge of nose, shaking his head. "Oh, Dom...what you are getting yourself into?" he muses to himself. Emmett returns his attention to his distraught friend. He reaches across the table to gently pat Eve's head. "C'mon, Eve. It can't be that bad. I mean, what happened between you two, anyways?"
She looks up from the table and locks eyes with Emmett. Instinctively she raises her hand to her face and winces as she touches the evidence of tonight's events. "I got what I deserved," she murmured. "I pissed off Charlotte. She threw my shoes out the window, my pink ones. You know, my favourite ones." Retelling the story only highlighted her embarrassment of the whole situation. "I called her a bitch and slapped her." Raking a hand through her hair, she was now painfully aware of how unkempt it was. "So she slapped me back and kicked me out." Her childlike confession laced with humiliation. She laughs lightly at his statement, she had never planned on getting into a fight either. "So, yeah." Her tone defeated.
Maybe she was overthinking the events at the dance. Maybe it was an innocent exchange between the two, but the scene kept replaying in her mind. Dom grabbing her wrist. Calling her pretty, finding it hard to believe she was there alone... Her thoughts trailed on. That night weighed heavy on her mind, she had been desperate to tell someone about it. She also feared the repercussions that could follow. "Well," she started, lips pursed searching desperately for the right way to word things. "He called me pretty, and smart, so that felt nice." A coy grin on her face. Her heart fluttered in her chest. Then the memory continued. Lowering her voice she went on, "then we got into a fight, he scolded me, for my gum chewing. So he stuck his hand in my mouth and pulled it out. I almost stuck it in his hair." Unsure if she should say more, she paused for a beat. Then decided against her better judgement to tell Emmett the truth. "I left, embarrassed. He followed me outside, we argued about it a bit..." Breaking eye contact, she looked down and finished her story. "Then he offered me some pot and I smoked it." She slammed her face down once again, appalled at her own actions. "I'm absolutely mortified."
Shooting her head up, she remembered what she was doing before she had found Emmett upset. "And then!" She exclaimed, throwing her bag onto the table. "I found this in my journal after Tillie kicked me out." The torn out pages were crumpled, but the message was still legible. "What in the world does this even mean? Consume me? Like cannibalism?" Her eyes wide and wild, showing the papers across the table to Emmett. The blood red ink had turned a darker shade. She could hardly manage to look back at it.
God Needs the Devil - Self Para - Plot Drop 001
Tears streamed down her face as Eve bolted from the girls dormitory. Once again she found herself completely alone. The cool Louisiana November night raised the hair on her arms. Thankfully, she remembers the sweater she had tucked into her bag after the altercation between her and Charlotte. The warm wool pullover offered little comfort to the storm that was brewing within. As she pulls the piece of clothing over her head, her journal tucked under her other arm fell onto the pavement.
After smoothing down her static ridden hair, she reaches down to retrieve her well-loved diary. Cursing herself as she sees it has fallen into a shallow puddle, and was now waterlogged. It's not like anything inside was important, it mostly consisted of rage induced entries about her roommate, fantasies about their French professor and the odd attempt at trying to remember important tasks. She wipes the mud onto her shirt, trying to salvage what she could. A park bench was just within eye shot, under a street lamp - she decides this is where she will seek refuge for the time being.
Slowly, she saunters over to it. Dragging her feet the entire way. Dread starts to consume her. Her actions had been immoral, and Eve might never forgive herself for it. At one point she thought her and Charlotte could be friends. Now she knew that could never be the case. If she were in Tillie's shoes, she'd hold this over her head for the rest of the school year. It was too late in the semester to request a room change, Eve also feared the repercussions if she had to tell the truth as to why she wanted to move into a new room. Violence certainly wasn't acceptable in their Code of Conduct.
She reaches the rod iron bench and sits down, book in hand. A long winded sigh leaves her chest before opening the journal to assess the damage. Most entries have been damaged, the mud and water causing the ink to seep over the pages. Her tears hit the pages with a 'plop, plop, plop', adding insult to injury. Turning the pages slowly, she relives the memories and emotions scrawled onto each entry. She thumbs over the entry from after the Sadie Hawkens dance and smiles through her tears. The night her and Dr. Koenig had that exhilarating exchange. It sent shivers down her spine. The smell of his cologne, the taste of his fingers... Her mind trails off as she reaches the last page of entries.
Her heart stops as she realizes the latest addition was not one of her own.
"I will find you, I will consume you - just as He consumes you."
The writing seemingly done in blood. The capitalization of He confuses her, God? Their Professor? The lines seem to blur. One thing was clear, this was a threat. Eve threw the journal onto the pavement. Was this Charlotte playing a prank on her? No, one thing about her roommate was she would never invade Eve's personal diary like that - as much as they fought, there was a line. Her heart nearly beating out of her chest, she picks up the diary again, maybe she had just imagined it.
This time another message accompanied.
"This is not a threat, but a warning."
Eve tore the pages from the book, and shoved them into her bag. She needed to find someone, anyone, to try and explain what was going on.
As Emmett listens to her speak, he begins to come back to his senses - his body. Everything in him releases, replaced by a throbbing ache that his muscles had sustained from being tensed up in panic. With his returning awareness comes a realization - there was a pained, longing expression in Eve's eyes that he had not noticed before, too absorbed in his own suffering and inner turmoil. A pang of guilt rushes through him for how focused on himself he has been, dumping his problems on to her. Something told him that things weren't right in her world either. Emmett scans Eve's face curiously - this was a part of her he had yet to see. He feels himself drawn in by this mystery. When she speaks about her fear of returning home, his heart wrenches with that same pain. Emmett knows it all too well. "Home feels very far away these days, doesn't it?" he agrees. Emmett cocks his head to the side, wanting to prode ever so gently at the surface of these feelings. "What kind of confusing, conflicting feelings? What's on your mind?" Emmett is direct in his communication, dashing forward with intrigue, but immediately regrets it for the way it makes him seem nosy. "Not that I mean to push or anything. Just know I'm here for you too, Eve."
Emmett appreciates the way her hand on the back of his neck grounds him - the weight of it giving him something to connect to in a bodily sense, fighting the dissociation best he can. After crying so hard, he is absolutely depleted and an empty, hollowed out feeling is trying to dig its teeth into him. "No one's a lost cause." he lets that sentence echo around in his brain, begging his memory to hold onto it. Was it possible that he could force himself to believe it? Did he actually believe he even deserved to? Before he can cascade down another thought spiral, the quick kiss on the cheek snaps him back into his body. For the first time that night, a genuine, small smile drifts onto his face. At the mention of milkshakes, Emmett laughs quietly. This was turning out to be one of the strangest nights of his life. Leaning into the unexpectedness of it all, he agrees. "That is quite possibly the best idea I've ever heard."
--
Entering the bright light of the diner causes Emmett to squint a bit, his eyes burning ever so slightly. The two of them sit across from each other in a tiny booth towards the back and now Emmett can really tell that something is wrong with Eve - her gaze drifting out the window, staring at nothing. Biting her lip skin. Fidgeting with her fingers. Emmett reaches out to her. "Hey..." He places his hand gently on top of hers. "Really, though, Eve. What's up with you? And don't say nothing because you aren't doing a good job at hiding it at all."
"I'm not even sure if my house is my home anymore." Eve blurts out without second thought. It was true in her mind. The world was so much bigger than she had been brought up to understand. People were fascinating, infuriating and all in all not what she had expected. Fighting with her roommate shifted her reality, something inside her had finally snapped. The human experience wasn't something you had to follow tooth-and-nail from a book, but something to flesh out on your own. At the mention of her confession, Eve's throat started to burn. "Well," she started, taking a moment to try to make sense of them herself. "Just a lot of back and forth. Hard to keep my head on straight these days." Hoping that answer would satisfy Emmett for now.
His laugh brought a matching smile to Eve's face, thankful to have some company after her fallout with her roommate. There was no way she could go back tonight. Charlotte would probably smother her in her sleep. "I have those every now and again." Paired with a giggle, she stood up and pulled him up along with her.
--
In the unforgiving lighting of the diner, Eve catches her reflection in the window. The welt on her cheek had started to recede, but the memory still pained her. She couldn't understand why she was driven to such a volatile reaction to Charlotte. They've fought before, many times. Tonight was an embarrassing reminder of her short comings, and lack of control. His words interrupt her thoughts, snapping her head back to her friend. "Hm?" Eyes opened like a deer in headlights. "Me?" She starts to laugh nervously, clearly unsettled by his inquiry. Emmett was a safe place to put her feelings, she knew this. Yet something still held her back.
Aside from her roommate, Eve's mind always wandered back to Dominic. Since the dance, he haunted her dreams, filled her diary and possessed her thoughts. Something about him was so intoxicating, taboo. He was everything she had been told to steer clear of, and yet, she couldn't. Pulling her hand back and bringing the menu up to her face trying to hide her very obvious distraught, Eve felt like a wild dog backed into a corner. Scared, caught and embarrassed. She decided to be brave. "It's just," she stuttered, lowering the menu back down. "You know when you like someone, even though you really shouldn't. And you want to do crazy things to get their attention even just for a second. Like, jump-in-front-of-a-car crazy, in hopes they'll tend to your wounds or something..." She trailed on, looking back out the window. Half hoping his car would pull up. Turning back to her friend, the words spill out like vomit. "Since the dance I haven't been able to stop thinking about Dr. Koenig." She slams her face into her palms on the table, unable to meet Emmett's gaze, which she was sure was laced with judgement. "I think he's possessed me or something."
Tillie saw Eve like she would any child. It was difficult not too on account of all of the pouting, whining, impulsiveness, and stubbornness. She had grown to expect the worst of her. Whether or not it was fair or kind, she didn't really care. Eve was never kind or fair. Eve always chose to go low. The yelling doesn't faze her. Hell, even being called a bitch doesn't faze her. Tillie laughs at her tantrum as it was another thing she had come to expect. But what she does not expect is the white hot flash of pain on her cheek from Eve's open palm. Her own hand instinctively rises to the spot of impact. She scoffs, incredulous. "God, you're fucking crazier than I thought and that's really saying something."
It was beneath her, she knew this, but she had always dreamt of hitting Eve. Really, dreamt of it. Sometimes she'd find herself dozing off and fantasizing about how good it would probably feel. And, well, now was as good a time as any. She winds her hand back and strikes the girl twice as hard. Eve stumbles backward a little bit and it brings Tillie great satisfaction. Totally worth it. "I'm a bitch? Rad, I'd rather be that whatever brand of freak you are!" She rounds on the girl and pushes her toward the door. Her face is flushed from the rage burning inside of her. "You need to get the fuck out before I actually do something I really regret".
The tears spring from Eve's eyes automatically. She knew in her heart this has gone too far. And yet, there was nothing she could do to stop it. Once again she had taken things to an new low, even for her. She wanted to take it back, apologize, get on her knees and atone for her sin. It would be pointless, though. Charlotte would never let this go. "I'm, I'm sorry Charlotte," her words weak and childish. No amount of apologizing could erase this line in the sand. She cursed herself for reacting so impulsively, hating that she was wired this way.
As Tillie's hand collided with her face, Eve started crying harder. It was a deserved reaction, Eve knew this. Charlotte's slap was more hurtful than any correction her parents bestowed upon her. It was a deserved reaction, Eve knew this. Her words stung more than the slap. Freak. It echoed through her mind and burned deep into her brain like a red hot iron brand to cattle. Eve didn't try to fight the girl anymore, merely accepting the punishment at hand. "Okay, okay..." Raised hands in defeat, "I'll go." Before leaving she managed to grab her journal and a thick sweater draped along her desk. Eve could feel the welt on her face growing. Anywhere would be better than here tonight. She grabbed the door handle and escaped. Forgetting her keys behind her.

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Emmett examines Eve’s face as she gently wipes his tears away with the silken handkerchief in her hands and suddenly he is a child again, looking up into his mother’s eyes with the same hopeless look. “Oh, Emzy….stop it now. This is foolish, all these tears” he can still hear her voice, stained with irritation at her son’s emotional volatility. He blinks away the tears that the memory threatens to bring him. “Oh momma,” he silently thinks to himself. “I want to be strong now like I was for you then.” There is so much pain at his fingertips - too accessible, too raw. It’s more difficult than ever for Emmett to hide it all away. Eve has no reason to be so sweet to him, but in this moment, it’s his salvation nonetheless. He almost chuckles at the irony of that.
The carefulness and thoughtfulness of her touch promises to bring him to his knees - he cannot keep it locked up any longer and soon, he’s openly sobbing. “Fuck I shouldn’t have - I shouldn't have kissed her, Eve. I should’ve walked away. I should never have - but I did. I did. And everything is different now. Ruined. It’s all my fault.” Emmetts breathing is fast and erratic, his lungs burn. It barely crosses his mind that she might begin to question who he's talking about. When she tells him she’s been there before, Emmett wrinkles his brow, shocked to hear her say this. He supposed there was quite a lot the two of them had to learn about each other. “You? But you - how - when -"
Eve’s words of reassurance offer him solace despite the fact that Emmett has never been a believer or a follower, in that regard. He knows he’ll never change his mind about that ,but he lets the words wash over him anyways, foolishly choosing to believe that perhaps she’s right. Maybe there is still time yet for him to heal. He accepts the handkerchief from her with a small smile of thanks, continuing to wipe his tears away with it. Emmett runs his fingers along the bumpy, raised fabric where some initials were embroidered to regulate himself. “At least someone believes that I’m not a lost cause.” he mumbles, partially to himself. With an exasperated moan, Emmett lets his head fall into Eve’s shoulder, resting his forehead against her shirt sleeve. “I have the worst headache of my life right now.”Â
She continues to listen, knowing her presence itself is more important than having the right words. In a world where she has always been told her emotions were too much, it was almost nice to see she wasn't alone after all. This time emotion wouldn't be met with scoldings and sermons, they would simply be acknowledged without judgement. It made Eve herself want to start crying with him, he looked like a wounded baby deer, desperately searching for their mother - or a swift painless end.
Kissed? The confession pricks Eve's curiosity. Who? Someone from their French class? That was the only explanation for his concern about disrupting the order of things. It was such a tight-knit group that any shifts in the dynamic were bound to be catastrophic. Her mind races until it lands on the one answer that made sense. Her roommate, Charlotte. Something deep inside her grew numb. She knew that the two of them had a close relationship. Well, from what she could tell anyways. Tillie never told Eve much, and especially after the events prior to this one, she doubted she'd hear much of anything from her again. Trying to hide her concern, jealousy?, Eve decided to change the subject. "It's your first time on earth. You couldn't possibly blame yourself for not knowing how things might play out, Emmett."
His question raises panic in her. She didn't mean to say that out loud. "Um, well," it didn't seem right to leave him in his vulnerability alone. "I do have feelings, y'know. Conflicting, confusing feelings." Biting down on her lip, a physical attempt to stop herself from admitting things she hadn't even come to terms with herself. Since I've left home, I'm finding it extremely difficult to think about going back." Between their professor, her roommate, her relationship with God - her hypothetical legs could give out at any moment.
She cradles his neck, the same way her mother used to after she'd come crying to her about a scraped knee. "No one's a lost cause." The words felt more like a self affirmation rather than a comfort for her friend. She gently places a kiss on his cheek. Unromantic entirely, merely a token of understanding. "Yeah, I bet you do," she pulls back, examining his face again. It was nice to see he had calmed down, even just a little. Then, a bright idea popped into her mind. "Wanna go get milkshakes?"
The annoyance, no, the apathy for the situation radiating off of Eve gave Dae a sour taste in his mouth. In his life, Dae did his best to be friends with everyone, because everyone deserved to have someone. But the more he interacted with Eve, the less he felt like they could get along. Maybe it was because her emotions, to Dae, felt bigger than anyone else he had ever met. It was so easy for him to fall into the same state of mind as those around him, and she pulled him in faster than he could stop himself.
He leaned in conspiratorially with her to listen to what she had to say before he half-chuckled at her statement that everyone had lost their minds. Of course, she wasn’t going to share some mind-altering piece of opinion; Dae should’ve known that. Any idea going against religiousity would obviously be blasphemous and downright crazy.
He brought his coffee up to his mouth as Eve started talking again. When she mentioned Dr. Koenig shoving his hand in her mouth at the dance, he choked on his coffee. Hot liquid seared down his throat before being spat out back into his cup. He continued to cough for a moment until he could gather his bearings. “Excuse me? What do you mean our professor shoved his hand in your mouth? How can you just move on from that?”
Still dumbfounded by the girl’s admission, he barely even noticed that she was reaching for the very thing he was trying to keep hidden from her. It wasn’t until she was holding the paper in her hand that Dae could feel the heat of embarrassment playing across his features. “Oh, that’s uh,” he sort of stumbled over his words for a moment, “just some questions I have for the professor about his admission. I thought it would be good to be thorough rather than just dismissive over what he said.” And that was the truth for Dae. If no one were curious in the world, if no one wanted to take the plunge deeper into a subject, then how was anyone to make discoveries that would potentially answer many questions in life? “You probably won’t find it interesting, though, to even entertain since you seem so put off by the mere idea.”
As Dae spit his coffee back into his mug, Eve couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. Scanning the paper in order to avoid direct eye contact, Eve was half surprised by her admission herself. She hadn't come to terms with the fact yet, nor the associated feelings. One part of her thought maybe it was a normal interaction, she was home schooled, after all. Something instinctual in her knew though, it wasn't exactly appropriate. "Um, yeah," lips pursed, tone nonchalant. "It was at the dance. I don't think he's a fan of chewing gum." A sad attempt at a joke. With that she popped another bubble from her mouth. "It's not a big deal really, he drove me back to my dorm after too. I think I smoked something too.." Her voiced trailed on. Suddenly aware she was probably speaking too much. Her mother always told her it was a terrible habit of hers.
She was growing more and more interested in this paper. Dae seemed awfully uncomfortable by it being in her possession. Maybe this was another thing that kept her always on the outside of the inside joke of life. Maybe she was the one who had things wrong. Though she'd never admit it. As the days went by she started to realize more and more that there was so much more than what she had been told. If things weren't meant to be on this earth, then why did her God create them in the first place?
The paper didn't exactly reveal much to her. It was mostly chicken scratch with a few things circled and underlined. Candide... Candide? She wasn't entirely sure what that was. She had heard some stories growing up, or rather read about certain things. Her local library didn't seem to stock much 'otherworldly' tales, so her knowledge on the subject was null. Sliding the paper back to Dae across the table using her pointer finger, target on a heavily erased and rewritten question, or at least she thought it was a question. "What's this about?"
"Oops"
Eve says it so casually, so callously. If she had any more energy she would have screamed, but this deserved more than that. Eve was always toeing the line of disrespect. She constantly poked her and pushed her right to the edge. What had she done to deserve a roommate like this? Surely she must have been a serial killer or some close second. Though maybe it wasn't her fault at all. She had met a lot of annoying people in her life - actually most people annoyed her - but Eve was a special case. And after half of a semester she should know better than to act like this. But, because she doesn't, Tillie decides to teach her. She decides she is done restraining herself with the other girl.
She nods once, the picture of composure. Tillie opens the window and the cool, night breeze floods in immediately. She smiles at what she knows will come next, but to Eve this probably looks as though she was trying to calm herself down. She wants to laugh, suddenly overtaken by the energy of retribution, but she holds it in. "Okay," she says quietly. She rises from her seat slowly and then in an instant she darts across the room snatching Eve's ugly pink shoes, then runs back to the window and hurls them outside. There is a second before they make a satisfying clatter on the cobblestone courtyard just beyond the window. She looks at Eve, a feeling of victory quirks her brow. "Oops!"
Her smugness quickly shifts to rage. Before she can intercept Charlotte, the deed is already done. Dashing to the windowsill, hand outstretched in a failed attempt to retrieve her belongings, Eve lets out a guttural yell. "What is the matter with you?" With her words, rain began to pour from the night sky. Her favourite shoes, were now dirty and soaked. Whipping her head back to the other girl, Eve's gaze became targeted. "You're such a, a..." She struggled to find the correct label. Before she knew it "BITCH!" Roared from her throat.
Eve had never called anyone that before.
She was furious it was directed at Tillie of all people. She could just... Without a second thought, the palm of her hand swiftly connected with Tillie's cheek, so hard her own hand stung. Fury pulsed through her veins, nearly frothing at the mouth. Reality sets in, her wrath settles and regret fills her mind. Her actions will certainly have consequences, and that scared her more than anything.
just so you know
2020
Emmett is grateful it's just Eve who has stumbled upon him. It could have been a lot worse - for example, it could have been Dan. Her gentle, reassuring touch felt so foreign and unfamiliar to him. The concern in her tone promptly jerks the tears out of him all over again and though he hastily wipes them away, they keep coming. "Oh, you know. Just my life casually falling apart." A sad laugh falls from his mouth. "Trust me, you don't want to hear about it." Her presence helps to pull him out of his head a bit, which he's grateful for. His gaze is drawn towards her collarbone as the cross on her necklace glints in the low light. Seeing it there causes his mind to race - fearful thoughts bubbling to the surface.
Emmett can hardly muster the courage to ask his next question, but he's burning to know what Eve might have to say. Tapping his fingers anxiously against his kneecap, Emmett speaks. "Hey uh - in your..." he trails off briefly, searching for the right word. "Faith?" he shoots her an uncertain glance. "If you refer to it that way, is there....I mean, like - can someone ever be... too far gone to be saved? Damned, I suppose? In a way..." his voice has quieted a bit, he notices. Before Eve can answer, he continues - "It's just like - because if someone really can be too far gone, what can they do? Are they - I mean, do they just have to live with themselves like that forever?" a twinge of anxiety is seeping into his tone, the fear that he was the person in this hypothetical scenario growing stronger. "Because, like, they still have a whole life to live, I -" Emmett tries to bruteforce his way towards a deep breath. He has got to stop rambling. "Just...what if that's.....what if that's me, you know?" Emmett braves a look in her direction, only to find she wasn't looking at him as judgmentally as he thought she would be.
As his tears continue to pour, Eve rifles through her bag to find something that could save the sleeves of his jacket. Her hand finds her handkerchief, handmade by her mother and embroidered with the initials E.S.H. Without hesitation she lifts it to Emmett's face to help. Dress be damned, she kneels down to the ground to come face to face with her friend, cocking her head to the side, fully attentive. "Of course I want to hear about it." She corrects.
His question catches her slightly off guard. It had been a while since someone had genuine interest in her beliefs. Having grown accustomed to low-blows and snide remarks from others, it takes her a while to muster a response. As Emmett continued, she nodded along, listening intently. This is what religion was about to her, helping lost, misguided souls find hope and reasoning again. To give them something to hold onto when everything else is so unsure and wavering. A soft giggle leaves her mouth, not in mocking manner, but in a way that says 'I've been there too.'
"No one is too far gone." Placing her dampened handkerchief in his hand and turning it over, pressing it to his chest. "There's strength in asking for forgiveness, repenting, atoning." Her eyes darting back and forth over his swollen face. "It doesn't matter what you've done, what matters is what you do to make sure it doesn't happen again. We're human, He knows that more than anyone." A soft lipped smile tugged her cheekbones up her face. "That's part of why He loves us, we're bound to make mistakes, He made us that way." Hoping her words comfort the lost soul in front of her - her intent wasn't aimed towards conversion. More so hoping it would be a sense of clarity in his storm.

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heart half-full, but still i spill // emmett + eve
Emmett strikes the match in his hand against the flimsy cardboard of the box it came from. The tip fizzles and sparks, a flame blooming before his eyes. He brings it to the end of the spliff hanging out of his mouth and it crackles as it burns. Emmett inhales deeply, letting his head fall back against the brick wall behind him. The only light around was a dim streetlamp, otherwise he was surrounded by the darkness of the night. He distractedly watches the moths and tiny insects swarm and erratically fly around the light. He normally wasn't one to smoke, but he had run into Eros earlier in the day, who had looked him up and down once before blurting out: "You look awful, Clermont. Need a pick me up?" Emmett glared at him, but snatched the spliff out from behind his ear anyways.
It was true - he did look awful and he felt it too. His hands are shaking as he smokes but as the moments pass, they became more and more still. A delightfully thick fog was coating his brain and he relished this feeling - like he wasn't in his body anymore, but floating directly above it. However, the relief does not last long. Whenever his eyes drift close, all Emmett can see behind them is Tillie - her furious expression, the sound of her yelling, the deep depths of pain behind her eyes. It wasn't any better when his eyes were open either. All alone. Without her.
Emmett lowers his head into his hands, the spliff rolling out from between his fingers and he begins to cry softly. A sickening idea burrows itself into his brain - Pain always tethers him to reality - Emmett scrambles for the matchbox, striking one up again. He stares at it for way too long, considering bringing the flame to his skin, but it burns down to his fingertips before he can even make that decision. Suddenly, there's a hand on his shoulder and he jerks away from it, whirling around to see who it is, face wet with tears. "Oh." Emmett hates how dejected he sounds, bites the inside of his cheek. "Hey Eve......"
It was late, Eve hated being out past dark. Something about the quiet and lack of visibility struck a nerve in her. She always felts like something, or someone, was watching her. Ready to leap out at her at any given moment.
Her speed was intense, and her mind was empty - for the most part. She couldn't quite shake the feeling of Dr. Koenig's hand in her mouth. Half of her wished she had bit his fingers clean off, the other... She shook her head, trying to clear her wandering thoughts. She pinched at her skin lightly, trying to bring herself back to her current reality.
Her grades were slipping, her parents were mailing her constantly - worried from the lack of response. She couldn't muster the courage to tell them that University life hadn't been what she thought it would be. Even more avoidant of the latest subject at hand - magic. It was ridiculous, of course. But what if...? Shaking her head again, she powered through the night, hanging close to the lights on the path.
Suddenly, she smelt a familiar smell. It was the same smell from her time in the Professor's car. Marijuana. Blech. Determined to find who was the source of this disgusting habit, she followed her nose like a bloodhound. Her eyes locked onto the culprit. A small flicker of a match glittered through the night, and she realized who it was.
Emmett. Walking towards him, she started to practice her lecture in her mind. Until suddenly, his face came into clear view. Clearly distraught, in pain. For once, she realized this was not the time to preach. The scrunch on her face quickly softened, and her pace slowed.
As the space between them disappeared, her concern grew more and more. This was not his typical broodiness, this was borderline melancholy. She reached out to place a soothing palm on his shoulder.
"Emmett," she cooed. "Are you okay, what's happened to you?" Kneeling down beside him, careful not to soil her dress on the ground.
Emmett turns and looks up at Eve, immediately squinting in the bright sunlight. He raises his hand up to act as a shield in order to see her better. "You? Not being weird? I'm not sure that that exists, Eve." Emmett shakes his head, smiling to himself as he brings his gaze back down to the text in his hands. He shrugs - "Besides, nothing you could do at this point would be weirder than the last few days we've just had." His thoughts drift back to that day in class for a moment and Emmett feels a prickly feeling climb the back of his neck. He absentmindedly rubs his thumb in circles on the page. What were they meant to make of it all?
Emmett hesitates to continue speaking on it. With Eve's background, Emmett is more than certain that she does not approve of witchcraft. As discreetly as possible he slides his occult books back into his bag, However, he figures it couldn't hurt to ask if she wanted to hear the poem. Emmett really didn't mind Eve, which he found insanely surprising. Normally, he wouldn't gravitate towards someone like her and yet, the two of them had bonded through literature well before he found out about her being religious. He pats the ground next to him. "Well, since you're here anyways, come sit with me. I've got a poem to share with you, if you'd care to hear it. That is.....as long as you're done worshipping the tree, or whatever."
Eve blushes slightly at his comment, it was true, she always felt like the odd one out. Maybe it was due to her upbringing, or maybe it was the fact that she had no real friends growing up. Having been home schooled, she truly felt as if everyone else was in on something she wasn't. She masked this with ignorance, and feigned confidence. In reality all she really wanted was to belong to something, anything. In her attempts, she found herself being cast further and further from society. At this point she wasn't even sure if she could crawl her way into a meaningful connection if she tried, and wanted to give up trying all together.
Maybe she would graduate and wallow back to Utah, find a nice Mormon man and live the life she was always destined to. Repeat the cycle that has been forced upon every woman in her bloodline. It was comforting, in a strange way. Although being away from her shelter has made her start to question things. Maybe she wasn't condemned to the same fate. Maybe she wanted something more. Eve wasn't entirely sure what "more" meant, but more and more she wanted to find out what it could be.
One of the people who made her feel at ease with the uncertainty of things was Emmett. Though she could never really pinpoint where most people stood with her, she was almost confident in the fact he wasn't entirely feigning interest in her. Their conversations were mostly centered around classic literature, poetry - and sometimes the odd gossip now and then. Normally, Eve wouldn't allow herself the indulgence, but it felt safe with Emmett. "Yeah," she replied to his statement. "I'm not quite sure what to believe at this point, everyone seems so convinced at what were being told," she paused, realizing the irony of her own statement. Quickly shaking off the thought, she continued. "What if he's just been practicing magic tricks, y'know, tricks of the eye and whatever... Next thing you know he'll pull a rabbit out of a hat or a coin from behind your ear." Or shove his hand down your throat.
She plopped down beside him, accepting his invitation. She smoothed out the wrinkles of her long dress, and crossed her legs in a childlike manner. She motioned back to the tree with her thumb, "big guy didn't have much to say." Her face in a half cocked grin. "But sure, I'd love to hear it." She scooted closer to him and rested a palm on his thigh - finding comfort in the closeness.
As she listened to his words, a cool breeze brushed by. All uncertainty was washed away with it.
Finally getting an evening to indulge her burgeoning interest, Tillie opens her translated copy of The Merseburg Charms. She scans the chapters on their history, eager to get to the spells. The original Old German was imposing on the side of the page with the original text, but she smiles at it - in awe. Feeling brave, under the soft glow of her lamp light, she decides to take a stab at it. She tries to recite the spell, but the words are foreign and jumpled in her mouth. "Sose benrenki, sose bluotrenki, sose lidirenki....." Surely she was saying all of this completely wrong? She's shrinks from embarrassment set on by an audience around her that doesn't quite exist. Alone or not, the last thing she wants to feel like is an idiot. There was also a budding feeling of fear creeping up on her. Something in the air and in the quiet was unsettling. She shakes her head and decides that she is being silly. She starts again in a concentrated whisper. "Ben zi bena, b-bluot zi bluoda....lid.... zi geliden?" Just as the last word leaves her lips the doorknob begins to rattle. Tillie snaps her head in its direction, panic overcoming her. Her heart stops for a moment as she considers that she may have conjured some angry spirit. But then she hears Eve calling to her from the other side in that whiny voice she loathes, and she almost considers letting her sleep outside. She considers this every time, though, and realizes Eve wouldn't survive very long outside by herself. "Jesus fucking - ugh".
Tillie shoots the other girl her best glare as she unlocks the door. "Eve I might actually do something drastic if this happens again. I mean really drastic. Like burn those ugly, clackity shoes you wear all of the time drastic." She points to a pair of pink ballet flats on the ground by the foot of Eve's bed for added effect. Sighing deep, she settles back into the wooden chair at the desk. "Really, how are you so irresponsible?" She calls back at her, head down and resuming her reading. She is half talking to Eve but mostly just talking out loud. Tillie wasn't completely interested in a quarrel with her roommate. It was more of an impulse than anything - an itch to scratch.
Nearly falling into their room, Eve manages to catch herself on the door frame. Their room was a clean divide between the two characters. On one side of the shared portion was Eve's conglomerate of unfolded clothes, overdue library books and papers from her private journal that didn't quite make the cut. Her blanket was thrown hastily onto her single mattress, her pillow case halfway on. She kept all of her shoes tucked under her bed, never in pairs. Her garbage can was almost always filled with discarded candy wrappers. Sometimes ants would trail along the sides, seeking refuge in her sugary offerings. Eve never really paid much attention to the mess, nor did it really bother her. In her childhood her daily chores consisted of daily cleanings, since her time away she had completely given up on it.
The stark contrast between the two was appalling. Tillie's sterile environment highlighted her own chaos. In Eve's defense, it was just as much her room as it was Tillie's. Any complaints her roommate lodged with her flew over her head.
She lets out a mousy "thank you" and throws her bag onto her unmade bed and flopped down on top of it, her bible jutting into her back. Just as quickly as she laid down, she stood back up. Eve doesn't take lightly to threats. Especially when it comes to her clothing.
"If you so much as touch my stuff when I'm not around, I'll..." She dragged on, not entirely sure what she would actually do to Charlotte. "You'd regret it." Her threat was empty, all she would do in reality is probably cry about it.
She walks over to Tillie's desk and grabs whatever she could. "What are you even reading anyways? Some more weird liberal garbage?" She holds the book by its corner, dangling it over the trash can before letting go and letting it fall. "Oops?" A smug grin plastered on her face. She didn't even really mean to react so strongly. But those were her favourite shoes.
not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing (so devoted the lines blur)
[closed:: eve & tillie]
@charbroussard
Eve scrambled through her dark brown leather shoulder bag searching for her keys as she approached her dorm room's door. She had a tendency to leave them practically anywhere except for where they should be. It was late. She guessed around nine thirty at night. Due to her recent shortcomings in class, she'd been spending more and more time at the library, hoping something of importance would actually stick in her mind.
The hallway was eerily empty, cold, with an electricity lingering in the air. Maybe it was the buzzing of the bulbs wall sconces, they seemed to her to be on their last legs of life. She knew her roommate would scold her, again, for forgetting her keys - the lump in her throat grew. They always seemed to be at odds with one another. Eve certainly wasn't expecting to become best friends with the other girl, she didn't expect things to end up this way either.
As she approached the door, she raised a hesitant fist to knock before dropping it back to her side. Maybe she forgot to lock it, and an unnecessary confrontation could be avoided. She tried the knob, locked, of course.
Quickly, she rapped it 4 times. "Ti-" she started, clearing her throat. Tillie seemed too informal, too familiar. Her ears grew hot. "Charlotte." She called out, cheek pressed to the door, trying to keep her volume low. "Charlotte, I forgot my keys... Again... Can you please open the door?" She pressed her forehead to the cold painted wood and prayed she was still awake.

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Emmett collapses in the grass, tossing his backpack aside. He crawls into the shade, provided by the towering willow tree a few feet in front of him. He lays on the ground for a bit, breathing heavily. He rolls onto his back, placing his arms above his head. The southern heat was beating down on campus today and he was miserably in need of refuge from the sun's rays. Luckily, he'd known exactly where to do that. As Emmett catches his breath, he watches the sunlight dance between the leaves and branches. After a few minutes, his breathing is slow and relaxed once again. Feeling restored, Emmett sits up and retrieves his backpack. He scoots back, resting against the rough bark of the tree.
Digging through the contents of his bag, Emmett catches glimpse of the book he is looking for - an issue of the Texas Quarterly with a poem by Sylvia Plath titled "Witch Burning." After Dom's well-kept secret came out and he proposed to teach his students about witchcraft, Emmett had not been able to focus on anything else. The library had been an alright resource, producing a small research pile for him to delve into. Emmett pages through the book until he finds Plath's poem.
"In the marketplace they are piling the dry sticks. A thicket of shadows is a poor coat. I inhabit The wax image of myself, a doll's body. Sickness begins here: I am the dartboard for witches. Only the devil can eat the devil out. In the month of red leaves I climb to a bed of fire."
Before he can continue, Emmett's ears perk up at the sound of a stick cracking behind him. From his peripherals, he recognizes the person standing nearby. "Might as well just come out now. You're not entirely great at being sneaky, y'know."
Scurrying back to her dorm, Eve rifled through her shoulder bag as she walked. Pens, papers, bible, textbooks - it had to weigh at least ten pounds. Frustrated, she gave up her search for her latest sign out from the University's library. Great, she thought, another fee added to my tab.
Her mind was more scattered than usual following her last French class. It had riled her in ways she could hardly explain. On one hand it was at the very least entertaining to watch her classmates fall for their teachers cheap tricks. On the other it was blasphemous - so much so, she considered dropping her minor all together.
All the newfound revelations of the day paired with her brisk motions, Eve's internal temperature started to rise. Additionally, her traditional undergarments weren't exactly helping regulate things. Along with her increasing temperature, her temper starts to as well. She knows when this happens, nothing productive can follow. If she had any chance of salvaging her day, she must ground herself. Closing her eyes, she found a shaded tree next to her to lean on for support and tried to breathe calmly. Eve started to whisper Psalm 46:10. "Be still, and know that I am God." It's a simple yet intentional act, reminding herself what truly mattered in these unknowing times.
After self-soothing, the air suddenly felt lighter. As did her mood. She giggles lightly, shakes her head and rubbed her lips with relief. She stood back up straight, and gently pat the tree's trunk as if to say "Thank you." From the corner of her eye she realized Emmett's presence underneath her. She liked Emmett, sure, she was confused as to why him and Tillie were so back and forth all the time. Regardless, she enjoyed being around him, though his sudden appearance startled her slightly.
"Oh!" Eve yelped abruptly. "I wasn't, you know," stumbling over her words, embarrassed at the possibility of him thinking she was being lewd. "I was just," she motioned to the tree, "expressing my, gra..titude?" To the tree? Her cheeks began to heat up again. "I wasn't being, y'know, weird." Eve locked her eyes down at her shoes, wishing she could just disappear.
Out of all of the people in his Advanced French course, the person he suspected the least of showing any sort of enthusiasm was Tillie’s roommate, Eve. Though he personally only interacted with her once, he, of course, heard some trite things about her from Tillie. And her pushback in class further convinced Dae that any sort of mention of witchcraft would be far too sacrilegious and blasphemous for young Eve Hansen. So surprise washed over his features when she actually showed up at Joe’s. Especially since he hadn’t directly invited her because of how she reacted in class. With how skeptical he already was, he wasn’t sure that being around someone who wasn’t fully buying into the idea would help ease his apprehensions.
When she approached the booth, Dae moved to clear his books from the opposite side of the table. He carefully tucked his sheet of questions underneath his philosophy text, certain her wandering eyes would see the book and stop looking there. In his mind, philosophy and theology majors were different sides of the same coin—philosophy as an almost radical skepticism toward whatever “divine revelations” theology majors sought comfort out of.
“Weird, I fear, would be an understatement for how these past couple of days have been,” he admitted as she set down her things. “Though, has anything else weird been happening around campus?” They clearly ran in different circles, so maybe she knew about other things besides their shared professor’s confession. He wanted to be careful with how he would approach that part of this meeting. He could only assume he would be met with sarcasm if he began asking any questions about witchcraft.
Popping a piece of pink chewing gum into her mouth, Eve sighed and looked around the diner. Everyone seemed to be in their own little worlds, including her. She crossed her legs at the ankles and swung them absentmindedly, silently judging. Unintentionally rude, but the uneasiness in her wasn't settling.
In her mind, the answers to today's revelations were quite obvious - their teacher was undoubtedly suffering from a mental lapse, or maybe his house was infested with mold. A family from her town suffered from that same affliction when she was young - they started challenging the church, and ultimately were asked to leave. Maybe he'd been practicing 'magic' tricks, like pulling a rabbit out of his hat - anyone with a brain knew that they were just tricks of the mind, optical illusions.
Her shifted eyes back on the other and she leaned forward - hardly closing the space between them. It was mostly for dramatic effect. "I think everyone has lost their minds." She stated, her tone matter-of fact. Why was everyone acting like this is the first time something that seemed unexplainable could be explained by something simple.
Noting the books on the table, she reached for Dae's philosophy textbook while listening to his question. Her curiosity getting the best of her. "Aside from Tillie, who's almost always weird, and our teacher shoving his hand in my mouth at the dance," she popped her gum on her tongue and let out a long winded sigh. "I'd say that we're dealing with a classic case of hysteria, thoughts?"
Lifting the text from the table, the scrawled out questionnaire underneath caught her eye. "What's this?" Once again, having no awareness of social faux-pas, she motioned to grab the paper.