éphémère

Popping a piece of pink chewing gum into her mouth, Eve sighed and looked around the diner. Everyone seemed to be in their own little worlds, including her. She crossed her legs at the ankles and swung them absentmindedly, silently judging. Unintentionally rude, but the uneasiness in her wasn’t settling.

In her mind, the answers to today’s revelations were quite obvious - their teacher was undoubtedly suffering from a mental lapse, or maybe his house was infested with mold. A family from her town suffered from that same affliction when she was young - they started challenging the church, and ultimately were asked to leave. Maybe he’d been practicing ‘magic’ tricks, like pulling a rabbit out of his hat - anyone with a brain knew that they were just tricks of the mind, optical illusions.

Her shifted eyes back on the other and she leaned forward - hardly closing the space between them. It was mostly for dramatic effect. “I think everyone has lost their minds.” She stated, her tone matter-of fact. Why was everyone acting like this is the first time something that seemed unexplainable could be explained by something simple.

Noting the books on the table, she reached for Dae’s philosophy textbook while listening to his question. Her curiosity getting the best of her. “Aside from Tillie, who’s almost always weird, and our teacher shoving his hand in my mouth at the dance,” she popped her gum on her tongue and let out a long winded sigh. “I’d say that we’re dealing with a classic case of hysteria, thoughts?”

The annoyance, no, the apathy for the situation radiating off of Eve gave Dae a sour taste in his mouth. In his life, Dae did his best to be friends with everyone, because everyone deserved to have someone. But the more he interacted with Eve, the less he felt like they could get along. Maybe it was because her emotions, to Dae, felt bigger than anyone else he had ever met. It was so easy for him to fall into the same state of mind as those around him, and she pulled him in faster than he could stop himself.

He leaned in conspiratorially with her to listen to what she had to say before he half-chuckled at her statement that everyone had lost their minds. Of course, she wasn't going to share some mind-altering piece of opinion; Dae should've known that. Any idea going against religiousity would obviously be blasphemous and downright crazy.

He brought his coffee up to his mouth as Eve started talking again. When she mentioned Dr. Koenig shoving his hand in her mouth at the dance, he choked on his coffee. Hot liquid seared down his throat before being spat out back into his cup. He continued to cough for a moment until he could gather his bearings. "Excuse me? What do you mean our professor shoved his hand in your mouth? How can you just move on from that?"

His head was so buried in the book that Acacia knew he was not reading a single word so she kept her eyes down, if it meant that he would talk about Ana more. Her own blank page of her notebook was her focus, if it make him more comfortable to talk, but her ears were taking it all in. Not that he was giving her much. "She should be special if she got to be loved by you, but it wasn't just being two isolated people that brought you two together right? I mean, it helped but there was more. You are drawn to a lot of people, but for you to stay, what was it about her?" Acacia didn't want to think about it to much when it came in relation to her. What made Acacia a good enough person for Dae to stick around her. It couldn't be that she was one of the handful that actually got his name right or the fact that they had a dating history. She knew why she gravitated towards him, but admitting those thoughts and feelings were opening the path back to why she's regretted ever proposing they break up in the first place.

"It wasn't just two isolated people, no. But we had similar backgrounds, similar ways of coming to America." He wouldn't go into detail about their lives or their coming together because that's not what Acacia was asking about. She was asking about what made him stay. "Honestly. She was the first person in my life who made me feel like I was enough." It was strange admitting it now, but that was the truth. "Isn't that all anyone wants in a relationship? To feel like no matter what happens between the two of you, that you feel like you are enough, the exact way you are?" But the words stung even now, the feeling that for whatever reason, Dae didn't make Acacia feel like she was enough. The inadequacies felt glaring now that he had laid out what kept him with Ana.

"It was so long ago now. I find myself revisiting some things about us, about our youthful love for one another. Sometimes I question it, though," he admitted. "That's the funny thing about walking the road alone. Even when you know there's nothing to be done, it doesn't stop the doubt from creeping in." He swallowed hard, blinking to keep his eyes from welling up anymore. "Maybe it's not as good as I remember it."

Emmett rubs his eyes sleepily, battling the impulse to faceplant into the table and take a nap with a book for a pillow. Now that he was seated, the adrenaline rush of trying to get there on time was wearing off. Luckily, a waitress pops by their table and asks if they need anything, to which he eagerly responds yes, getting himself a coffee. Emmett raises a brow in curiosity as Dae begins scooting a cassette player across the table to him, though he couldn’t say he was entirely surprised. No one spent more time record shopping than Dae and Emmett did find himself rather intrigued by the offering. “Well, you would be absolutely correct about that. I’ve never seen more picked through library shelves in my life.” His coffee arrives at the table then, causing him to look up and give an appreciative nod to their waitress. “Alright, then. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Emmett puts the headphones over his ears, immediately hearing the beginnings of “The Witch” by The Sonics. As he lets the music sweep over him, Emmett picks up one of the books off of the table. The front cover of “Where Witchcraft Lives” by Doreen Valiente stares back at him. He opens it up, beginning to page through it while Dae does the same with a different text. Words and phrases jump out at him left and right - “coven” “initiation” “strange cords of music coming from an unknown place” “witches could either kill or cure.” Emmett had never been a fan of the boring constraints of Christianity, really. To him, it seemed like the pagans were having a lot more fun. His eyes continue to glean information from the text - “a small cut on the tip of the finger releases just enough blood-” he lowers the headphones from his ears, placing them around his neck momentarily.

Dae perked up as the waitress came over. "Ooo, would it be alright if you left a pot over here, Darlene?" "Of course, sugar. Anything for my favorite customer." Dae gave her a warm smile as she pinched his shoulder before she walked away. Having a pot at the table would almost guarantee longer periods without interruption for their studies. Plus, Darlene knew when Dae had a lot of work to get done to leave a pot and only come over when he flagged her down. The fewer people around when they started to delve in, the better. He grinned slightly as Emmett happily took the cassette tape. Nothing would put him in a better headspace for this kind of work than the playlist he put together.

He tried to give the Metaphysics book a good look, but there was something else swimming around in his head. That lingering thought that if magic were real, how would that change the possibility of getting the opportunity to speak to his loved ones again? Until this week, the thing Dae turned to for his grief was the different philosophies of life. That's why he dedicated so many years and all of his college studies to researching as much as he could in an effort to find the answers. But none of his research would've ever suggested magic as being the solution to it all. He thumbed the corner of the page, curling it in as he stared at the words until Emmett spoke again.

The smile across Emmett's features sells it for Dae. Before he even speaks about any of what they can do, Dae knew in that moment that Emmett would be the person who wouldn't think he was so crazy for thinking of all of the possibilities. "I think you're right. We should hear him out. There's a chance all of this magic stuff could make our lives easier." As Emmett's enthusiasm seeps into Dae, he nods to himself before reaching for something in his bag. "I wasn't sure if I was going to share this with you, because I didn't know where you were with... Well, everything," he said as he set down Daemonologie by James VI and I in front of Emmett. "I remember finding this when I was in high school. My adoptive parents let me keep in because the book frames witchcraft as if it's a treason against God." He can't help the scoff that comes out as he's explaining. "But what I recall from it is that it is some of the earliest accounts of black magic. They claim Shakespeare was inspired by this philosophical dissertation of sorts."

To appear seemingly casual about it all, Acacia did have her notebooks out to reference her notes from class, even if there was not a note taken for the paper she should be writing. “Ana,” Acacia stated, not going to beat around the bush. She glanced up from her paper, trying to catch his reaction. “Tell me about her.”

Finally, he let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding before barely glancing over to her. "Ana," he started. "Ana was... Well, she wasn't like anyone I knew before. You know, growing up around here, it's not like I always got the chance to see people who look like me. It was refreshing in a way." He waited a moment more before turning the page in his book again. "It was an honor to get the chance to love someone like her," Dae said. He hoped that would be enough for her, but he had a nagging feeling that someone as hardheaded as Acacia wouldn't let that slide.

She is slightly surprised by his concern. Sure, she respected Le Troadec as an institution, but she didn’t feel as though she owed anything to it. She supposed his wariness is valid, though. What would she possibly do if she lost her scholarship? A shiver rattles her body at the thought. “I guess I hadn’t considered that. But what would he gain? I don’t know, he didn’t seem all that enthusiastic to share it with us in the first place. I don’t think he has such mal-intent. Though It wouldn’t hurt to exercise some caution..”

Dae shrugged, "I don't know, a chance to kick a handful of non-white students out of the university for not only going against Catholic values, but for engaging in something as sacrilegious as witchcraft." Expressing his concern did make him feel better for the moment. "I mean, I'm sure there are professors here that are convinced we're taking the spots of God-fearing white kids." Though he agreed, the way that Dom approached the whole confession made it seem like it was far from that, but it couldn't hurt to keep his guard up so he wouldn't be blindsided.

@daejungpark “You don’t talk about her.” 

Four years since she’s met Dae in their co-ed orientation group tour of the campus. And two years since they broke up. In laymen’s terms, Acacia has had equal time of them being together as they have been as friends and in that whole time of knowing him. Dae Jung Park has only mentioned Ana once, maybe twice. Whether it be for the better for their relationship, but leave it to Acacia to finally give in to her curiosities. 

She was done her classes for the day, and figured she could use the extra study time, seeing as their professor’s idea of extra credit was exposing them to indecent and lewd behaviors. Seemingly flustered by how entirely gullible her french class could be, Eve decided to entertain herself further. How utterly inappropriate of their “Professor” to imply the sheer knowledge of “magic”.

Where did he get his degree, anyway? Clown College?

Giggling to herself over her lame and corny joke, Eve swung the door open at Joe’s. Scanning the room, her eyes landed on Dae. “Poor boy,” she thought,“he looks like he’s seen the second coming of Christ” She raised a halfhearted wave and made her way over.

Out of all of the people in his Advanced French course, the person he suspected the least of showing any sort of enthusiasm was Tillie's roommate, Eve. Though he personally only interacted with her once, he, of course, heard some trite things about her from Tillie. And her pushback in class further convinced Dae that any sort of mention of witchcraft would be far too sacrilegious and blasphemous for young Eve Hansen. So surprise washed over his features when she actually showed up at Joe's. Especially since he hadn't directly invited her because of how she reacted in class. With how skeptical he already was, he wasn't sure that being around someone who wasn't fully buying into the idea would help ease his apprehensions.

When she approached the booth, Dae moved to clear his books from the opposite side of the table. He carefully tucked his sheet of questions underneath his philosophy text, certain her wandering eyes would see the book and stop looking there. In his mind, philosophy and theology majors were different sides of the same coin—philosophy as an almost radical skepticism toward whatever "divine revelations" theology majors sought comfort out of.

Emmett knew there was something up with Dom and now it all made sense. Of course the weird guy who seemed like he had a secret actually ended up being a weird guy with a secret. Something about the mystery of it all did make him a lot hotter, however. The night after class, Emmett lay awake in bed, unable to sleep as his mind swirled with thoughts of witchcraft. Despite his knowledge on many things, he barely knew anything about the history of magic. He was itching to get his hands on more information, more books, anything he could soak up. When Dae floated the idea of getting together to discuss, Emmett immediately agreed. Maybe a little too enthusiastically. In the meantime, he spent his hours in the library, sifting through the shelves for books on metaphysics, paganism, anything that seemed like it might deepen the rabbit hole. Emmett checked out as many books as the library would let him and stuffed them all in his book bag. The last thing he would be at this meeting was unprepared.

When the class got the truth out of Dr. Koenig, Dae sat there mostly dumbfounded. Sure, he was ever the skeptic when it came to catholicism or any organized religion, for that matter. And he would've liked to believe that witchcraft was something akin to that, a practice with a cult following who believed in it well and true. But there was something about the notion of witchcraft that appealed to Dae. Something that could help bridge the gap in understanding. Because if magic were real, then what truths could he uncover about death? Just as he found himself straying further into those thoughts, he had to pull back. Seeking comfort and answers in a power greater than yourself felt like a cop out for grief. That's why he never turned to Catholicism, so why would turning to magic make him any different than the people who used religiosity?

Even still, pulling back for Dae still looked like trying to find every piece of evidence he could to bring to Joe's. He figured his classmates would scour the library and the bookshop to find any mention of it, so Dae thought to look elsewhere. Though books would probably be a better help, something drew him to Vinyl Resting Place to find any records that mentioned witches. The shopkeeper was very helpful, and maybe too curious by his selections, but he spent so much time there already that it wasn't too strange for him to pick out five to six records at a time. He spent a full night recording songs from records onto his cassette tape so he could lug it to the diner with him to do a deep dive with them. October Country, Eartha Kitt, Donovan, The Hollies, and The Sonics all made appearances on his tape. Even if it wasn't going to be directly helpful, he was hoping the music could help him gain some understanding of the new texts his classmates found.

Magic. Witchcraft. All of this was floating around his head, he couldn’t seem to discern what he knew to be fact versus fiction. Surely Candide was a good enough indication that perhaps the previous notion that unexplainable things in this world could be explained. What else could be explained with this knew expansion of knowledge? Now was no time to ponder, now was the time to find answers. Dr. Koenig mentioned that he was going to be bringing in books for them, but that was a week away. And the knowledge was beckoning.

When she approached the table, the words seemed to tumble out faster than he could even comprehend. Perhaps it was because the very subject of witchcraft was so sacrilegious for an institution such as Le Troadec, with its very catholic values, that Dae hadn't even considered that learning about it could be an option. Sure, the few interactions he had with Dr. Koenig led him to believe that he wasn't there to uphold the "moral" values of the Catholic Church, but Dae knew better than anyone what it was like to be outside the religion yet so very ingrained in it. But witchcraft. That was an entirely obtuse idea as far as he was concerned. Not more obtuse than joining an advanced French course in his final year, with barely a grasp on basic grammar. But still, obtuse.

"You're going to have to take me to that bookstore before the week is over," he said in awe as his eyes darted and scanned over the books placed before him. Thumbing through a few of the pages of the Plant Magic book, he furrowed his brows. "How do you suppose we're to discern the difference between scientific texts and... magic?" He lowered his voice conspiratorially as he glanced around the diner to make sure no one else was listening. "Or if magic even exists? We've barely had time to process such a claim. Whose to say this isn't the professor's twisted way to, I don't know, turn against the very institution we've already dedicated so much of our lives to? What if we lose the few opportunities we have if we fully buy into this?" It was his turn to ramble, the air his fears, even just his thoughts, because he hadn't had the chance to talk about this with anyone. Not to the depth that he'd like to, maybe that's why he had asked his classmates to come dive deeper with him.

Magic. Witchcraft. All of this was floating around his head, he couldn’t seem to discern what he knew to be fact versus fiction. Surely Candide was a good enough indication that perhaps the previous notion that unexplainable things in this world could be explained. What else could be explained with this knew expansion of knowledge? Now was no time to ponder, now was the time to find answers. Dr. Koenig mentioned that he was going to be bringing in books for them, but that was a week away. And the knowledge was beckoning.