All My Friends Are Heathens Take It Slow

Alastor: *bonks Lucifer on the head with his cane*

Lucifer: Ow! What's your issue, Alastor?!

Alastor: I wanted to make sure that you knew you were stupid.

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Vox: I think humanity's due for a second attempt at the Tower of Babel! In this modern age, I think we have the resources to finally break into God's house and strangle him with a telephone wire!

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Alastor: *sing-songing as he skips after Bluebeard* Ready or not, here I come to murder you!

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Vox: *to the Morningstars* Oh, that's your deer? HA! Then why did he just give me his number and insurance information after I rear ended his car in the applebug's parking lot?

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Speaker: Your sins have been forgiven, my child.

Alastor: Please stop forgiving my sins I worked so hard on those.

Sera: Your sins have been forgiven, my chi-

Alastor: Bitch do u know how much PLANNING--

Lilith: *looking ready to pull out her hair* Adam nearly killed you when he knocked down your studio and crushed your legs! We're lucky he didn't think to dig through it for you.

Alastor: *bedridden* Ah, but I still got in several more cutting remarks, which no doubt did serious damage to his ego.

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Alastor: *when Lucifer starts giving him presents* He's trying to lure me into a false sense of security. Jokes on him, I’ve never been secure in my life! And I’m not about to start now!

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Alastor: If you are not in my circle of trust, you're probably in my triangle of suspicion or my rhombus of doubt.

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Alastor: When Dostoevsky said, "Pain changes you, but it teaches. That is it's mercy." Kafka said, "Pain changes nothing. It just repeats itself until you forget who you were before it started."

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Mimzy: *patting Charlie on the back after breaking up with Seviathan* I love that we say “oh man” to express disappointment because men are, in fact, disappointing.

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Vox: How could I lose?!

Lucifer: I’m no expert, Cox, but I’d bet being a loser helped.

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Charlie: Too bad, Adam! Your Exorcist Army was no match for the true power of friendship and cooperation!

Alastor: Also I ripped out their kidneys.

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Alastor's pov: My beautiful girlfriend and this bitch ass dog that follows her everywhere

Lucifer's pov: my WIFE is being SEDUCED by a DEMON and my WIFE is ALSO a DEMON but that's not the POINT because the OTHER demon fucking SUCKS

Their dead wives <3

Bonus:

also that is bubblegum.

Just an image that appeared in my head

I kept thinking how as a child Alastor has witnessed the abuse his mother suffered through and in IF he is going through the same thing...

(and a little bit in Forced Broadcast, but it never gets nearly as bad)

If anyone compared his and his mother's situations though he would brush it off and say that his "situation" is nothing comparing to what was happening to her, and that there is actually nothing bad happening to him and he is fine!

And maybe he's partially right, like, he has at least some power over Vox and Vox has at least something that could be called "love" for him (which doesn't make it better if you think about it), while his mom could only pray her husband would be in a good mood today and won't be (too) drunk or/and violent.

Part 25 is in the progress, probably will be done tomorrow