pserial psych.

and that's enough to send anyone spiraling over the edge

but to still, in the face of some of the worst adversity i've ever encountered alone and more weight upon my shoulders than a bodybuilder could hold, be met with more stress and irritation

from someone who could so very easily just.. not

is too much to bear

it's all too much

and yet not enough

too many times i've said, "i can't remember the last time i-"

too long ago were all the things that brought me happiness

to feel swept away, romanced, tended to, protected

just... too much of all the wrong things. too little of what kept me.. myself.

one day, i'm going to gaze upon someone i loved and realize i'm staring at a memory.

one day, i'm going to throw my lipgloss and a photo of my Mom into a bag and walk out the door.

one day, i'm going to drive to the shore and stare out over the horizon.

inundated with

uncertainty

I just want to be around people who love me

goddamn nowhere feels like home anymore

constantly looking over my shoulder

to see who's stabbing me in the back.

that you don't need people as much as you thought you did.