"He's layin... wood. ... Ssshit."

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

i fucking lost it when she opened the fridge

A big mood

I missed this video

Keeyum.

@huffpc

Anybody else start getting just as mad as her when she’s reading the inane fucking incomprehensible texts. DO YOU WANT THE CAKE OR NOT GINGER

WHERE IS HER OSCAR

I missed this video lol

If I got any gift from a crow I would keep it forever, I would affix these to the front door so they know I love and cherish them.

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

I worked in a restaurant for while and a woman climbed past an A board sign, ignored the sign on a the door saying the opening times and trotted on in. When told we were not open she asked why the door was unlocked. My manager explained that it has to be unlocked when people are in the building to comply with fire regulations. Which lead to my favourite exchange with a customer: Woman: But there are no people in here. Manager: Madam. The staff count as people. Woman: That’s ridiculous. *Storms out*

“The staff count as people” has me dead