Dysphoric Trans

I dont post much art here but uhh heres some that ig is good for this blog? (text based off paralytic states - against me! (i think thats right its been a while lmaoo))

This might as well just be a vent blog but uh anyways dysphoria is a BITCH i havent gone more than 50 mins without binding for like a month probably and bottom dysphoria hit me like a truck and i want to saw my lower body off and it wont go away and. Ugh? Every way i sit and turn my legs and every thing i think is wrong and everything is wrong and i can feel it being wrong and i cant sleep and i want to be angry but i feel pathetic and my body wont let me cry let me get it out ! Fuck!!

So my mom. I came out to her as a trans guy, after a life of feeling uncomfortable when people "found out" i was a girl. Feeling wrong telling people my name because it felt not sincere. Wanting a smaller chest size ever since i started developing boobs, and being uncomfortable having a vag and wishing i had a dick instead. My coming out letter, which i still have stuffed in a drawer somewhere, didnt have much detail. The way i came out was by writing something along the lines of "im trans. I hate my female body and it all makes me so uncomfortable. Please dont make a big deal out of this. Id rather go by the name (not saying out of fear people will link me to my main blogs and i dont want discourse there)" This was a few months ago, i believe. She now prides herself in being an accepting parent, yet still calls me by my birthname and female pronouns and telling me to "shut up" when i correct her. My friends call me by my name and male pronouns in front of her and she acts like its just some fun little thing. She refuses to call me boy and uses boyo instead, which ive expressed how i dont like. She prides herself, as well as my dad who has never called me by the correct pronoun or name and told my mom i need to "stop focusing on gender and start focusing on school" when he found out, that they are supportive parents. While i know it could be worse, they couldve kicked me out or abused me, its still very annoying that she flaunts being a progressive parent when it seems like she didnt even try to change. Because they arent supportive. Theyre tolerant. They tolerate me, but arent willing to change to make me feel less terrible all the time. So still, i have to live as a girl and i dont get any break, when i feel like i should. When she thinks she gives me one. Idk i just needed to shout about it and if you actually read this. Who. Who are you. But anyways bye.