hi, ilyagender coiner here! 👋 i've been away and missed the development of words like ilyaginity and discussions like these
really interesting to see ilya "lacks the strong inner sense of gender that maverique has" - looking back, i did indeed focus on Not Related To Neutrality as more important to me. like vesper (coiner of maverique), i identified as neutrois for a while but grew dissatisfied.
for me, neutrois was a conviction of neutrality As Gender - a nixing/neutralizing of incoming gendering forces, a pursuit of neutering the body. the idea of eunuch as third gender, the saris, the nullo; a sex without primary sex characteristics and with minimized secondary sex characteristics, conjoined with matching gender identity, a feeling of excision, perhaps of smoothness. a lavender-grey, sort of subtle to the unpracticed or casual eye that expects pink or blue
(you can see the connection to my choice of url for my transition sideblog, blockers-and-ectomies!)
i came to dislike equating a gender identity with a particular bodily transition. feels like bad praxis. and turned out nullification wasn't right for me, just close
and well, it turned out it was just easiest to see the points of friction rebuffing incoming gendering forces - often it's easiest to start by identifying "not that." but all along, i did have feelings of gender euphoria, of "yes this," bright, orange, a bronze drill piercing a blue sky, a jagged spiral snaking upwards. not a neutralize that meets incoming bolts and dispels them into nothing, but the kind of magic spell that counterattacks with a lash of its own color. even if it gets beaten down in power.
i threw together ilya as a statement of "i am here, a gendered force; not androgynous, not derived from the male-androgyne-female man-androgyne-woman masculine-androgynous-feminine spectra; not neutral as in 0-0-0 with no further gendered attributes;" and, not exactly neutral as in a fourth column of smooth neutrois flavor. definitely marked in a linguistic sense
it looks like maverique has gone on to mean this, too! to mean specifically not neutral-flavored, which i was worried about. (because, of course, folks are always mixing and juxtaposing, relating things back to systems already developed. this is part of exploring and understanding! but at the time it did seem like alia and apora and anything anyone came up with was getting very much distilled into neutrality flavor remix, precluding our imaginations from the possibility of a non-neutral gender that wasn't just snapping right back to androgynous.)
so i dunno if ilya is distinct, or functionally synonymous with maverique now (edit altho omg this sentiment on the difference is so sweet). but i hope this speaks to what a sense of neutrality in gender might mean, and a bit on inner sense of gender
edit: omg also have you seen yb3/stormy's incredible essay and work on qualities of neutrality?? (or wait, is that you???)