just a few things straight* people need to never do again
since iām feeling extra bitter tonight!
donāt call ppl gay as a joke/insult, this is 101 level shit friends!
DEFINITELY donāt call homophobes gay as a joke/insult. this goes TRIPLE for homophobic politicians etc who deliberately torture, or endanger/end the lives of, LGBT+ people. fuck your putin memes!!!
donāt suggest that violent homophobes are just closeted self-hating gay ppl or that āthe worst ones are always secretly gayā. that places the blame on us for our own oppression which is a cruel move
donāt bring up the fact that āLGBT+ people arenāt all perfect, they can be abusers too!!ā because we know, you paint us all that way in order to justify our oppression, and you literally cannot handle that conversation with nuance because of that history - so leave those discussions to us.
donāt say making a butch-coded character a lesbian would be āa stereotypeā so itās somehow more Progressiveā¢ to have yet another straight character who just happens to take all her fashion cues from lesbian culture. we need rep more than you do, straight girls with short hair!
donāt insist that itās somehow wrong to be LGBT+ and fulfil stereotypes, as though the negativity in those stereotypes doesnāt nearly always come directly from straight people being uncomfortable with people being visibly LGBT+ and having our own cultures and ways of identifying ourselves to each other
donāt act all offended when someone mistakes you for one of us. take some time to think about why you think they should know youāre straight, and why you think itās so bad to be seen as one of us.
donāt make AIDS jokes. what the literal fuck. it was a fucking genocide you monster.
donāt defend the way we die on screen all the time. donāt write stories where we canāt be alive and happy and LGBT+ all at the same time without being punished for it by the narrative.
donāt go making or joining in on our jokes about how straight people are the worst. thatās you too, buddy, no matter how big your rainbow backpack is.
donāt talk about how there are straight people and Straight Peopleā¢ and youāre better than those other Straight Peopleā¢. thatās not your fucking call and if you think it is youāre definitely Straight Peopleā¢
donāt assume that everyone in your life is straight. odds are a lot of people just arenāt out to you. itās your job to learn to be a person they can feel safe being honest with, and to act like that person even when you think youāre only interacting w straight ppl.
donāt assume that all LGBT+ people are adults who always knew. be aware that in most groups of children, some will be lgbt+, and be respectful of that possibility in how you talk to them
donāt out us. donāt speculate on whether someone you know is lgbt+. donāt mention us in conversation purely to get Cool Credit for knowing A Gay, thatās weird and uncomfortable even if itās not to someone we know/will ever meet. other lgbt+ ppl see u doing that and we are creeped out.
donāt pretend you can be privately creeped out by/uncomfortable w/disapproving of our existence without being a homophobe. youāre a homophobe. you donāt have to stay that way.
donāt fetishize relationships between ppl of the gender youāre attracted to. our sexuality and our relationships are not for your consumption and us loving/fucking each other is explicitly not about you at all!
stop talking about same gender relationships like theyāre dirtier or more sinful than yours. stop pretending gay fanfiction is dirtier than straight fanfiction.
shipping isnāt activism, porn isnāt activism, and itās homophobic to pretend voyeuristic fetishization of our existence is remotely supportive. especially if youāre still uncomfortable w gay & bi people of your own gender.
like itās 100% ok to ship gay relationships but it doesnāt make u an activist or exempt from homophobia, and u do need to examine how u interact w those stories to make sure youāre not objectifying oppressed ppl for ur own pleasure - weāre not fetish objects, weāre people
stop showing up to gay bars uninvited. stop having your bachelor/ette parties at gay bars. stop treating our only places to meet each other like your personal zoos.
donāt hit on gay men or lesbians, in earnest or as a joke. This includes hitting on gay ppl of your own gender bc you think itās funny or bc you want to turn on your partner. donāt fucking ask us if you can watch us having sex. stop asking for sexual interaction altogether from people you know arenāt attracted to your gender. you will not be an exception.
donāt pressure ur bi partner to engage in a threesome they havenāt said they actually want. definitely do not hit on LGB+ ppl on behalf of your bi partner. wtf dude.
straight women, please stop calling your platonic female friends āgirlfriendsā or people you admire as āwoman crushesā. Take some time to think about why you think just indicating sheās a girl is supposed to make it clear that your feelings toward someone are actually platonic, and how that makes lbpq women you know feel.
when someone comes out to you, donāt act like theyāre suddenly a predatory pervert w no self control. donāt stop inviting them to events or start acting differently around them. we interact w ppl of our own gender all the fucking time w/o making it sexual, stop interpreting every interaction w a gay person as sexual in our minds, itās almost certainly not. ur not that irresistible, stop making it weird.
donāt pretend our existence is 100% about how we have sex. that means stop making excuses to not tell children about us! donāt act like we shouldnāt be gay in public! donāt act like your weird kinks make your experience remotely equivalent to ours! (stop ācoming outā as kinky you creeps!)
donāt demand we present a desexualized and platonic image of our existence and relationships at all times. we have wildly varying sex lives and levels of complexity in our relationships to sex, just like you do.
donāt ever EVER use the word h*m*sexual, itās considered a slur bc it was used for medicalized justifications for our torture. thereās a reason 99% of the usage of that word today is by anti-gay groups.
*tbh this is really just @ straight cis ppl even tho itās abt gayness since honestly most of these do not apply to straight trans ppl, bc straight trans ppl are an integral part of the same communities/face many of the same issues - and almost always have better fucking manners.
